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  • Oh, woah, who are you?

  • I'm Julie from 4 months in the future.

  • Actually?

  • Are you here to tell me what's going to happen?

  • Yeah, I mean... because of the butterfly effect, I can only really give you some loose details, but we'll go through the basics, yeah.

  • Okay, cool!

  • So do you want the good news or the bad news?

  • Oh, um, good... good news...?

  • Oh, great choice. Yeah. Cool, cool cool.

  • Um... so.

  • Things have never been better for climate change.

  • Well, that's great!

  • Dolphins in the Venice canals.

  • Really?

  • I know, I know... well, it's... I mean, I saw it on Facebook, I don't know if it's a real thing.

  • My aunt posted it, but it seems pretty legit.

  • Okay, well, that's incredible, you know, especially given the Australian wildfires.

  • The wha... Oh, yeah.

  • 'Cause, I mean, those are pretty, like, I think those are gonna be the defining feature of 2020.

  • Yeah, you'd think ...

  • Oh, no?

  • Not even a little bit.

  • Really?

  • Wait, because they're... they're a pretty big deal.

  • Yeah, your definition of a pretty big deal is gonna change.

  • For sure.

  • Wow, okay, so what is the bad news then?

  • You are gonna want to pull all your investments.

  • What?

  • Yeah, just, yeah, get everything out of the stock market.

  • Ohhh, it's a recession.

  • And you know what? Put a little money in Zoom.

  • Isn't that a conferencing app?

  • Yes. Trust me.

  • Okay...

  • While we're being proactive here, actually, you could just do a Costco run real quick.

  • It's gonna save you a lot of hassle.

  • Costco?

  • Do you have any hobbies?

  • You know, just something to keep you busy?

  • Um.... I... no, not really.

  • You should get a dog!

  • I want a dog! You know I want a dog!

  • I just... they're... a lot of work.

  • And you've gotta walk, you've gotta go outside with them twice a day.

  • Right, the walks are gonna be clutch.

  • Right, but, I mean, I have to leave them because I have so much travel coming up.

  • Oh, no, you don't.

  • Well, yeah. I travel for work.

  • Oh, you won't be working!

  • But how do I afford stuff?

  • Do you take vitamins or juice?

  • No.

  • Okay, It might be a good time to just, you know, get that body in tip-top shape.

  • Get strong, get those lungs a-pumping.

  • You know, cardio, a little aerobics.

  • What the hell is gonna happen?

  • Look, I know, it all sounds scary, but... it's really not that bad.

  • You know, for you, right.

  • I mean for some people it's…

  • It's not.

  • But for you it's really not bad.

  • Um, I would, you know.

  • Would you rather be a busy shopping mall or at home on the couch watching Netflix?

  • Uh... couch?

  • Exactly.

  • You're gonna be just fine.

  • Okay ...

  • What do you know about the world of big cats?

Oh, woah, who are you?

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Explaining the Pandemic to my Past Self

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    Hikaru Kadota posted on 2020/09/20
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