B2 High-Intermediate 26 Folder Collection
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(whirring)
(screaming)
(folk music)
- Wow, look at that sky, it is beautiful.
Hey, check it out Orange, there's Cassiopeia.
- Hey, hey Onion.
- What?
No, no it's name--
- Look Pear, it's Onion!
Hey, hey Onion hey.
- Dude, that's not an onion.
- Wow, Onion's the biggest star that I've ever seen.
- Dude, it's not an onion.
It's, what the?
(bangs)
- Whoa, what's that one called?
(mystical whirring)
- Wait a second Orange, that's not a star.
- Ooh, a light show.
(whirring)
- Oh, my God.
(screaming)
(upbeat music)
- Whoa, what the?
- Where are we?
- [Broccoli] Ah, the specimens are conscious.
- What was that?
- It's Broccoli.
(whooshes)
- Welcome to space, Earthlings.
- Space?
Hey, hey Broccoli.
- Quiet.
- Jeez, I don't like this guys altitude.
(laughs)
- Silence, the leader approaches.
- The Bieber?
(gasps) Is Justin Bieber here?
Yay!
- What?
No, I said leader.
- Take me to your Bieber.
(laughs)
(whirring)
(laughing)
- All right, minions, show me the money!
(laughing)
What do you have for me?
- Hey, you must be the Bieber.
Sing "Baby", sing it.
Do it now.
- Hold on there a second, my little fruit basket.
- Hey, look Pear, I've got the Bieber fever.
(laughs)
- Quiet!
You know Orange, you're acting glib right now.
- Hey, sorry about that.
Orange gets a little excited sometimes.
I think what he's trying to ask is why are we here?
- Why are you here?
You want the truth?
- Yeah.
- You can't handle the truth!
The truth of the matter is,
you're about to get the ride of your life.
(Broccoli laughs)
(Orange laughs)
(Broccoli laughs)
(Orange laughs)
(Broccoli and Orange laughing)
Silence!
Bring in the Vivisector 9000.
(mechanical whirring)
- Whoa, it's a giant BeDazzler.
- No, it's not a BeDazzler.
- Ooh, bedazzle my jacket!
Bedazzle my jacket!
- What the?
- It needs more rhinestones.
(laughs)
- No, this machine is for dissecting.
You see Orange, we are traveling across the universe
studying the most intelligent lifeforms we can find.
- Um, I think you might have the wrong guy.
- Yeah, Pear's not the brightest guy in the world.
(Pear groans)
- Silence!
It's time to see what you two are really made of.
Vivisector 9000, target the intelligent life
and fire at will.
(laughs)
- Hey, Pear, look what I can do.
Nyah, nyah, nyah, nyah, nyah, nyah, nyah.
You try.
Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah.
(beeps)
(whirring)
Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah.
- Oh, crap.
(exploding)
- Whoa, I didn't know the ship had cruise control.
(laughs)
- The leader is no more.
- No more?
- No more.
Long live our new leader!
- Yay!
- Yay, I'm the new Bieber!
- What is your first command, new leader?
- Hmm, ooh, I know what we can do.
- Oh boy, here we go.
(folk music)
- [Orange] Yay, now I'm a big star too.
(laughs)
- [Pear] Dude, that's not a star.
- Shut up, Pear.
I think I almost got it!
- What's going on?
- Orange is tryin' to learn how to whistle.
I'm rooting against him.
- As am I.
Can you imagine how he'll terrorize
the kitchen if he figures it out?
- One more try!
(groans)
Wow, that was weird.
Is that what whistling's supposed to sound like?
(groaning)
Oh, it was corn.
For a second, I couldn't believe my ears!
(laughs)
Get it?
Corn, ears!
- Yes, yes, we're all laughing super hard about it, Orange!
- It's a joke!
(laughs)
- More importantly, why are you glowing green, dude?
- Look, I know this is gonna sound crazy.
- Did somebody say, "I know this is gonna sound crazy."
- Oh great, you summoned Lou.
- Go on, someone was about
to say something was supposedly crazy.
I was trying to do air quotes there,
but I don't have fingers.
Imagine I did though, to emphasize
my disdain for the word crazy.
Now please, go on.
- Well, there are weird patterns
and knocked down corn stalks out in the field.
Me and my friends, well, we kind
of think they might be crop circles.
- Oh like, say from aliens?
- Whoa, did someone say aliens?
- Great, and now we've summoned Crackpot.
- Whoa, what's up Lou?
How you been, man?
I haven't seen you since the convention
about how the moon is like a hoax.
- I think you mean the moon landing.
- Um no, I mean the moon.
Think about it sheeple,
how does it stay up in the air like that?
Wires, that's how!
The same wires the government uses
to tap our phones, and our toilets.
- Oh good Lord, I don't know if I can handle two of 'em.
- What was that?
You can't handle double-dose of the truth?
Well, I feel sorry for you, pal,
'cause you ain't nothin' but a sheep.
- Baa for me sheep, baa.
- Baa.
- Baa.
- Orange why are you baaing?
- I don't know, seemed fun.
- I think I'll go do, literally anything else,
than have a conversation with these two nutsos.
- That's it, go on, run away from the truth.
Secret societies control the world!
- Come on, fruits!
This effects all of us!
Chewbacca's still very much alive!
- All I want is for somebody to love me!
- What?
- Hmm?
- But, you just said--
- No, I didn't.
So, tell me more about these crop circles.
Let's see photos.
(humming)
- Notice the concentric circles here on the edge.
You thinking what I'm thinking?
- Sure am.
These aliens are definitely from the Sculptor Galaxy.
- What do you think corn?
Is there even a kernel of truth to their theories?
(laughs)
- Hey, guys.
What's all the yelling about?
- Wait, why do you reek of corn?
- Hey, we don't reek, jerk!
- Oh man, this is gonna sound crazy, but.
- Go on.
- Well, I got lost in a cornfield
in my monster truck last night.
Ah man, it took me like a full night
of driving in circles to find my way out.
- Well, this is certainly devastating to our theory.
- It disproves nothing!
Look how he's glowing green, for instance.
- Oh, am I?
Oh shoot, well that's part of the reason
it took me so long to get out.
My truck sprung a huge antifreeze leak.
- Antifreeze?
That's what the goo puddle was?
Aw snap, I got some of that in my mouth (gags).
- This disproves nothing!
Little Apple, surely you saw something
strange-looking out there, right?
- Yep, sure did!
I think I saw your mom!
(laughing)
- Aw man, I wish I could high-five you so bad right now!
- Come on, Lou, let's leave these deniers to their denial.
- Um, guys, don't look now, but flying saucer!
- Har-har, make the crazy guys look up
because they're so gullible.
I was attempting to do air quotes on crazy again, just FYI.
- No, really, flying saucer!
(yells)
- Well, I'll be dipped in chocolate sauce,
it's nice to be short sometimes.
(groaning)
- Um, guys?
My head hurts.
(cracking)
It kinda feels like I (groaning).
(yelling)
- Guys?
Maybe we should split.
(laughs)
- Yeah, good call.
- Does no one care that I drank
copious amounts of antifreeze?
(puking)
- Wow!
Now, that's a lot of barf!
(whistles)
Hey, I did it!
I figured out how to whistle!
(whistling) - No!
(whooshing)
(whirring)
- Star Log 1123, I'm approaching the planets surface now.
No signs of life.
- Blah, blah, blah, nah, nah, nah.
- Well, no signs of intelligent life.
(buzzing)
(gagging)
- I think I ate a fly!
- Just incredible.
Greetings, Earthling.
I am Astronaut Ice Cream.
- Whoa, cool helmet!
Can I wear it?
- No, no you cannot.
It's the only thing keeping me alive
from Earth's toxic atmosphere.
- Yeah, I see your point.
It can be pretty toxic sometimes.
(farts)
(laughs)
- Well, tell me, are there any other,
perhaps, smarter Earthlings around,
that I might be able to speak with?
- Nope, I'm basically the smartest fruit
in the whole kitchen!
- (sighs) Yep, I was afraid of that.
- Go ahead, ask me any question at all!
- All right, you're on.
What is the mass of Jupiter?
- I've written the mass of Jupiter under there.
- Under where?
(laughs)
(grunts)
I will say this, of all the planets I visited
in this galaxy, this is certainly the most annoying.
- Oh, what other planets have you visited?
- Well, I've visited Venus, Mercury--
- Have you visited Uranus?
(laughs)
- Yes, I've also visited a number of planets outside
your solar system, including my own planet.
- What'd you do on Uranus?
Did you sit on Uranus?
- So what if I did?
(laughs)
- Uranus.
- I can see we're gettin' nowhere here.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a mission to complete.
- Yeah, totally understandable.
It's Uranus on the line if you don't.
(laughs)
(groans)
(breathes out)
- Okay, keep it together.
I hereby claim this incredibly stupid,
primitive planet in the name of Planet Dessert!
- What's that supposed to be?
- This, it's just the flag of my planet, Planet Dessert.
We're conquering you.
Do you have a problem with that?
- Well, it's just, it's a weird looking flag.
- Oh, our flag's weird!
Well, you know what?
Maybe your flag is the one that's weird, huh?
Do you ever think of that?
- Okay, but--
- But, what?
Our planet is literally made of ice cream.
So, my apologies if it's not normal looking to you.
But you'd better get used to the culture
being imported from Planet--
- Dessert?
- Yes, from Planet Dessert.
- No, dessert!
- What the?
Hey!
That's not a real sundae, you dope!
Jeez!
Just when you think Earthlings couldn't be any dumber,
they go and confuse a sundae flag with the real thing.
(Orange laughs)
(clinks)
(Astronaut Ice Cream yells)
(Orange yells)
Hold up, stop the phone.
What are you screamin' about?
- I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream!
(laughs)
- This is no laughing matter.
The atmospheric pressure on my home planet
is 1,000 times that of Earth.
If this visor were to break all the way through,
I would get sucked out and vaporized immediately.
- Wow, so your mission is dairy, dairy dangerous.
(laughs)
- Yes, extremely dangerous.
Now, I must get back to my ship before my helmet gives way.
Have you seen my--
- Saucer?
- Yes, my flying saucer.
- No, saucer!
- Huh?
(dramatic music)
(yelling)
(gurgling)
- Whoa, that ice cream sure took some licks.
(laughs)
Sorry, too spoon?
(laughs)
(whirs)
My name's Orange.
- And my name's Pear.
- Which is a huge coincidence
'cause I just so happen to be an orange and he's a pear.
(laughs)
- Yeah, har-har.
Welcome back everyone, to another episode of "How 2."
- This week we've got an Orange approved question
from Pink Master who wants to know,
"How 2 Survive an Alien Invasion."
- Yeah, not sure how we're supposed to do this episode
considering aliens haven't been discovered yet.
- Hoo-honkey, they haven't been discovered.
Step aside, Pear, I got oodles of experience with aliens.
- You do?
- Sure, I've been abducted at least 10 times.
Aliens aren't alien to me.
(laughs)
- Wow, that actually explains a lot.
- So, the most important thing to remember,
is if you see an alien, don't freak out.
At least not right away, anyway.
(laughs)
(groans)
Step one, before you freak out, see if they're friendly.
Lots of aliens are friendly.
They might just wanna poke you a bit,
or get some cotton swabs of your saliva,
or look at you with their mirrored eyes.
You know, the usual stuff.
- I most certainly do not know.
- All right, I keep forgetting
you're completely ignorant about aliens.
The friendly ones are usually
just here for scientific research.
All you gotta do is lay back, relax,
and let 'em shoot lasers at ya.
(clanks)
- Wait, wait, lasers?
- Oh yeah, lot of lasers.
- And, these are the friendly ones?
- Mhm, but they're not all friendly, believe you me.
- Um, so what do you do if they're not friendly?
- Step two, if they're not friendly,
fight back with everything you've got.
I'm talkin' karate chops, TNT, kicks, punches,
TNT, spitting seeds, TNT, and finally TNT.
Ya, ya, ya, ya, ya, ya.
- That seems like a disproportionate amount of TNT.
- Nah, it doesn't matter anyways 'cause they got lasers,
and the unfriendly ones have really big lasers.
- Ah, whoa.
So, what are you supposed to (yells) do
if they have massive lasers (yells)
that can completely destroy us all?
(yells)
(explodes)
- Step three, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em.
I recommend a good costume.
Be sure to spring for the mirrored eye,
and the more tentacles the better.
Oh man, these guys are always fallin'
for the fake tentacles.
(laughs)
- Okay, I got the tentacles.
- Oh, and dunking yourself in onion juice is good too
'cause they kinda smell like that.
(grunts)
- I got it, so am I safe now?
Are the aliens gonna kill me?
- One last step, you just have
to read this piece of paper out loud.
- Orange totally got me.
(Orange laughs)
- Totally got you, Pear!
- What the?
- I can't believe you fell for it!
- Yay, it was all a prank!
I love pranks!
(laughs)
- Are you serious, right now?
(laughing)
- Silly, Pear, aliens aren't real.
- So this was all fake?
The spaceships, the aliens, the lasers?
- Yeah!
- Well, almost.
The lasers were real.
We're gonna have to return these babies hot!
- (yells) Look out!
The laser beam is bouncing off the mirrored eyes!
(yelling)
(upbeat music)
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Annoying Orange - Alien Invasion (Supercut)

26 Folder Collection
Summer published on August 13, 2020
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