and welcome to Story Time.

Today we're doing one of my favorite stories of all time,

The Lion King.

Now, I know what you're thinking,

you're thinking Orange is gonna come in

and totally ruin the story right?

- Wrong!

I just finished watching it

and I thought it was the cat's pajamas (laughs)!

- Great to hear.

What was your favorite part, Orange?

- Oh man, how can I choose?

The animals, the songs, the villain.

Oh don't make me decide,

it was all too good!

- Okay, okay I won't make you decide.

- And the best part is,

that I just finished watching it

so I remember everything.

Orange won't be ruining today's story, no siree!

- Wow, I'm actually excited

for a Story Time episode for once.

- Me too!

Now let's get started.

- What's with the mullet wig?

- Just gettin' in the mood

Let's do this thing.

Woo hoo!

- Okay.

Once upon a time, a new baby prince was born.

And all the animals from

the pride lands came to celebrate.

There were zebras, elephants.

- [Orange] Snow leopards, crocodiles.

- [Pear] Giraffes, rhinos.

- [Orange] Rednecks, ATVs and of course,

tigers. (tires squeeling)

- [Pear] Um, I don't recall any

of those being there,

but the point is there were

a lot of animals.

- [Orange] Exactly, and they all looked up

towards Southern Pride Rock

for a glimpse at the baby.

The music crescendoed

and all the animals went nuts

and bam, The Tiger King.

- Stop, stop everything. (record scratching)

- What?

What's the matter?

Was his mullet not long enough?

- Orange, I don't think you watched The Lion King.

I think you watched Tiger King.

- They're not the same thing?

- No, they're completely different things,

just as lions and tigers

are completely different animals.

- Hmm, I don't know about that.

Ever heard of a liger?

I learned about it when

I watched The Lion King.

- You watched Tiger King!

And I can prove it.

Try to finish this sentence.

Baby Simba grew to be a ...

- [Orange] Eclectic redneck, zookeeper,

country music star.

- [Pear] Try again.

There was someone jealous of Simba

and did not want Simba to become king.

That person's name was ...

- [Orange] The witch, Carol.

- [Pear] (groans) Last chance.

After Simba's father died

in a wildebeest stampede, Simba ...

- [Orange] Realized he'd never

recover financially from this.

- Orange, you watched Tiger King!

- Who cares?

It's probably better than your movie anyway.

- We are not gonna debate this!

Now then, after his father's death

Simba goes away-

- [Orange] To prison, where he serves

22 years for attempting to hire a hit man.

- [Pear] (groans) Until one day his father

appears in the sky and tells him-

- [Orange] You'll never recover

financially from this.

- Orange!

The Lion King is one of the greatest

Disney films ever made

and you are absolutely desecrating it right now.

- Pear, Pear, Pear, does The Lion King

have incredible songs?

- Yeah.

- Does it have unforgettable characters?

- Sure.

- And does it have murder, mayhem and masses?

- Yes. - Then it really can't be

that different from Tiger King,

so why don't you relax

and let me tell the thrilling

conclusion to the story

we both can enjoy,

The Liger King.

- [Pear] Oh, good grief!

- [Orange] Simba returned home to Southern Pride Rock

to reclaim his throne

only to find that Jeff had stolen the zoo.

- [Pear] Zoo?

What Zoo?

And who's Jeff? (tiger roars) Ah, what does it matter?

The story's already ruined anyway.

- [Orange] So Simba and Jeff got into a big fight.

Jeff tried to get Simba killed

by putting sardine oil on Simba's foot.

So then Simba bit Jeff's arm off.

But guess what?

It wasn't a big deal.

Nobody sued anybody

and the pride lands continued on

as they always had.

And everyone lived their best lives

driving ATVs, wearing cat prints

and making horrible country music videos.

- [Pear] Yeah, pretty sure we're gettin'

sued for this.

- [Orange] Oh, no!

We'll never recover financially! (laughs)

(groans)

(upbeat music)