B1 Intermediate 27 Folder Collection
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- Howdy, howdy brew lovers.
Welcome to another episode of "The Juice."
The only round table talk show that has round hosts.
(Orange laughs)
- Today's topic com courtesy of Mad attach G&A.
If you could travel in time, where would you go and why?
- My, what a timely question.
(Orange laughs) (audience laughs)
Now let's squeeze out some answers,
'cause I wanna know: What's "The Juice?"
(audience applauds)
- If I could go back in time, I'd go back to last Thursday.
A butterfly landed on a leaf, right outside my window.
It was such a nice moment, yay!
- Really, Marshmallow?
You could pick any other time in history.
- Oh, in that case, I'd pick yesterday!
- Let me guess: 'Cause yesterday a puppy
snuggled a kitten or something?
- How'd you know? (Marshmallow cheers)
- Well, I know where I'd go: June 24th, 1957.
A date forever etched in my mind.
I had just returned stateside from active duty,
in the Southeast Asia.
And as I stepped off the boat,
who should I see but a tall drink of water,
who goes by the name of Marilyn Monroe?
Yes, the Marilyn Monroe!
We locked eyes.
There was a shared understanding in that moment,
which was both physical and I'd even go
out on a limb and say metaphysical.
We conversed for an hour, perhaps two,
touching on a range of topics.
All of which Marilyn spoke to with ease and expertise.
As we parted ways, she asked me
for my landline phone number.
Sure, no problem.
I jotted it on my palm.
But it was sweaty, yah see.
I had that affect on women in those days.
They'd catch the vapors from old Grandpa Lemon.
And as soon as I finished, I saw the final
one in my phone number smudge into the number seven.
Marilyn was rushed off to some
red carpet event by her handlers
before I could correct the mistake.
And that was that.
She never called, because she couldn't call.
I came to find out years later
that Joe DiMaggio, who she married later that year,
just so happen to have a phone number
strikingly similar to mine!
One digit off, in fact, ending in a seven, instead of a one.
Quite the tale, yes?
(audience applauds) - Woe!
- Yeah, quite the tall tale!
- I don't believe it for a moment.
What do yah have to say to that, Grandpa Lemon?
- It probably just seems that way to you
'cause you know, you're so short.
(Orange laughs loudly)
- Nice one, Grandpa Lemon!
- I'm surprised no one else has picked the future.
That's where I'd time travel to.
I wanna know where technology takes us as a society.
I wanna know what scientific breakthroughs await us.
- And I wanna see if the butterfly comes back tomorrow!
(Marshmallow cheers)
- I was thinking' a bit bigger, but yeah.
That's a reason too.
- The future?
Please, why would I go to the future
when I've already seen it?
- Oh my gosh.
Are you about to promote your EDM album again?
- Hey, there's are sounds on this things
you've never heard before people!
This is the future, and the future is
entitled the EP to end all EPs.
Every sound in track seven was recorded
by wild raccoons I let loose in the recording studio.
Let's have a listen!
- Let's not. (Marshmallow cheers)
- Hey, dang, I only have like 10 of those!
Ugh, anyway, it's an easy call for me.
If I could time travel, I'd go back 10 years
and get in on the ground floor of Bitcoin.
- It's not like you have much of a choice.
That's the only floor you could reach.
(Orange laughs)
(Little Apple laughs) - Where would you
time travel to, Orange?
- Mm, probably five seconds ago.
I kinda regret what I said to Little Apple just then.
I wish I could say something else.
- Aw, I appreciate that.
Well, let's take it back then.
If I could time travel, I'd go back 10 years
and get in on the ground floor of Bitcoin.
- More like Bitty-coin once you get involve, am I right?
(Orange laughs)
- Orange, I thought you were going to apologize.
- Why would I do that?
- Nah, I just got a better idea for a joke is all.
I have a reputation to maintain, you know?
(Orange laughs)
(Little Apple grunts)
Oh, I just thought of an even better joke.
Can we take it back again?
- Absolutely not!
(audience laughs) - Okay, okay!
Everybody calm down, 'cause I have a surprise.
Before the show, I contacted Dr. Bananas.
And he actually made a real time machine.
(audience applauds) Come on out, Dr. Bananas!
(audience and panel cheers)
- Yes, hello!
Thank you for having me.
This time machine is a single-use machine.
So I'm afraid only one of you will be able to journey
to your desired destination.
(audience and Orange sighs)
- We can only choose one?
- My vote's for Grandpa Lemon.
Partly, because I want 'em to be happy.
And partly, because I don't believe
his story about Marilyn Monroe for a second.
(Grandpa Lemon snoring)
(audience laughs)
- Maybe we should wake 'em up.
I mean, this could change the course of his entire life!
- Wake up, Grandpa Lemon, wake up!
(Grandpa Lemon snoring)
(audience laughs)
- Aye, wake up! - Don't worry,
I got this!
(whipping noise) Wake up!
(audience laughs)
(Grandpa Lemons snoring)
Huh, he's out like a light,
and he also out of luck.
'Cause if he's not gonna use it I will!
Woo hoo hoo hoo!
- Wait!
(machine engine revs)
(racing lightspeed music)
- Listen, it's an easy go for me.
If I could time travel, I'd go back 10 years
and get in on the ground floor of Bitcoin.
- At your size, maybe you should
stick with Light-coin instead.
(Orange and audience laughs)
- Orange!
(upbeat folk music)
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Annoying Orange - The Juice #9: TIME TRAVEL!!

27 Folder Collection
Summer published on August 11, 2020
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