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  • Thank you all for coming. I'm here to address the recent rumors.

  • Not those.

  • It was reported that there was a fire in our studio,

  • and here is what happened.

  • I was driving to work this morning and I received a call from Portia

  • at approximately 10am asking me if everything was OK.

  • I told her I had some lower back pain from working out,

  • and she said, "No, that's not what I'm talking about it."

  • And I said, "Did I leave my lunch box on the counter?"

  • And she said, "That's not what I'm talking about either.

  • Just please stop talking and I'll tell you what I'm talking about."

  • And then we fought for a minute. And then she told me that a PA

  • went up to her, she's shooting a new show for ABC

  • called "Better Off Ted" premiering Wednesday, March 18th at 8:30pm.

  • Anyway, so yeah, you should watch. It's good.

  • "Better Off Ted"

  • Anyway, so this PA came up to her and said it's all over the internet

  • that Ellen's studio is on fire.

  • And of course, I believed her because everything on the internet is true.

  • And so, this is what I was envisioning.

  • But that's not what I saw when I got to work.

  • What happened was some fire trucks were surrounding the studio.

  • A fire alarm was going off. Water was gushing out all over the street.

  • And suddenly people just assumed there was a fire.

  • And see, you know what happens when you assume,

  • you make an ass out of you and me. Because that's what it spells.

  • Look it up. Anyway, so, and the same with gossiping.

  • You make a goss out of sip and ping.

  • And the same with stir-fry.

  • The point is, you should never assume.

  • And like yesterday, I made an assumption about McSteamy,

  • and I was wrong. You can break it, even though it's not a bone.

  • Now, although, yesterday also people were assuming that I was quitting the show

  • to live on a farm. Not true. It was a vitious, vishous rumor.

  • You know what Benjamin Franklin said, "Believe none of what you hear,

  • and half of what you see." Or was it half of what you see and-

  • maybe I'm thinking of those three monkeys.

  • You know, hear no evil, see no evil.

  • I know that it's "I" before "E" except after "C".

  • And liquor before beer, you're in the clear.

  • Beer before liquor, never been sicker.

  • Anyway, the point is, you can see that everything is OK.

  • There was no fire. Here's what actually happened.

  • A sprinkler pipe burst, and a small portion of our studio,

  • right near the street flooded. So the fire department came

  • to check to see if there was a gas leak as well.

  • There wasn't a gas leak. So in conclusion,

  • no fire, no farm, and yes, you can break it.

  • Thank you for coming, and I will take your questions now.

  • Yes, yes. - Can you dance?

  • Yes I will dance, yes.

  • To see when Ellen is on in your town, click the When it's on Tab.

Thank you all for coming. I'm here to address the recent rumors.

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A2 fire studio leak liquor talking beer

Ellen Degeneres - She clears up some rumors

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    Jerry Lu posted on 2014/05/08
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