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  • All right.

  • So if you didn't know Avatar The Last Airbender is getting a new live action adaptation on Netflix.

  • But what you probably didn't know and wish you could forget forever is that it already got a live action movie and it was terrible.

  • But today I'm going to remind you of just how terrible this travesty.

  • Really, Waas.

  • I'm just on the Internet.

  • I do all the research nobody else wants to straight from the desk of battle.

  • Obviously spoilers.

  • If you haven't watched the film.

  • Duh!

  • All right, let's kick things off by talking about the trailer.

  • You remember it Has Ang doing some sweet avatar moves with the candles.

  • Well, this two minute trailer was just about all the good footage in the entire movie.

  • You see, the film is actually just M.

  • Night Shyamalan, the director trying to embody the Fire nation and kill the Avatar, which he does a pretty good job at.

  • And it's not like he didn't have good material to work with either.

  • The original Nickelodeon Siri's has an amazing story dope ass character development and awesome action scenes.

  • But what did we get?

  • We got a bunch of horrible exposition like a shit ton of it.

  • If you don't know what exposition is, it's telling, not showing, basically the opposite of what you want to dio in a film.

  • For instance, just in the 1st 3 minutes we get some scrolling text, followed by some poorly read narration.

  • And then 100 years ago, he just disappeared.

  • I get it.

  • People Convention elements in the world needs this boy, a k a.

  • The avatar.

  • I don't need animatronic guitar, a spoon feeding me narratives to understand what's going on.

  • It would be an understatement to say Exposition killed the film a nem en el it burned its house down, wiped out its family and sewed its fields with salt.

  • But, oh, it doesn't stop there.

  • In fact, M.

  • Night Shyamalan didn't just wipe out a family.

  • He wiped out an entire race of people.

  • You remember how the water tribe was supposed to be based on real life Arctic cultures like the in you, It's well not here.

  • Here they're all white.

  • And maybe, just maybe it was because the actors were really good.

  • But leave it alone.

  • Wow, With delivery like that, not even face stealer CO would be interested shit so little left.

  • It's a little avatar joke for you guys.

  • Seriously, though, in the Siri's, Ang is supposed to be childlike and whimsical.

  • Qatar of the humble sidekick Sokka the comical relief.

  • But in the movie Ang is an emotionless body of turmoil.

  • Qatar A sounds like an airhead, and Sakka seems like he's just reading off a script.

  • I watch what side of the tracks are more indented.

  • That shows you which direction they're going.

  • I saw how long the drag skits are that shows you how fast they're going.

  • The characters are so shallow that you could care less if one of them takes a fireball to the face.

  • Which Qatar A does?

  • And no, not even a twinge of emotion.

  • Even the C G I.

  • APPA had more range than these actors, and all he can say is, Wow, the film is so inconsistent that it started to break down its own world building.

  • Like instead of imprisoning earth benders on a metal boat where they can't use their powers, they imprison them on land next to I shit you not rocks.

  • You know the thing they can manipulate with their powers at any point, these earth benders could just literally crush the outnumbered firebenders.

  • So why don't they?

  • Oh, I don't know.

  • Maybe there is dumb as the rocks they bend.

  • But when they finally fight back, it takes six of them doing a well choreographed dance to make one small rock float across the screen.

  • Let's just do a little side by side here and see if it matches up with the original source material at all this bender.

  • Bigotry doesn't end there.

  • Toe add to the stupidity.

  • Firebenders need a pre existing fire to bend.

  • They can't just make fire.

  • Oh, unless you're in advanced fire Bender like Zuko, Uncle Iroh who does nothing with this power.

  • He just stands there looking like an idiot.

  • Good.

  • Awesome.

  • Keep doing that.

  • Maybe they just ran out of special effects budget.

  • Which would explain why Wang and Xue kal have a long, drawn out fist fight.

  • Yeah, that's right.

  • The airbender and the fire bender fight each other without using a single flame or gust of wind.

  • It's like showing up for a duel at high noon on Lee to get into a slap fight.

  • The movie did do a great job at one thing, though, and that's giving Netflix a long, detailed list of what Not to dio.

  • Thanks M.

  • Night Shyamalan.

  • I knew Bruce was dead the whole time, and the ending of Split was stupid.

  • Fun Fact.

  • The producers for the Netflix series, who are also the original creators, took a low key Jeb at the movie when they said, We can't wait to realize Hangs World as cinematically as we always imagined it to be and with a culturally appropriate non whitewashed cast, so at least we know they won't make that mistake again.

All right.

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Why The Last Airbender Movie Sucks | The Desk of DEATH BATTLE

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    林宜悉 posted on 2020/07/02
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