20、 Obama
A2 Basic US 14 Folder Collection
After playing the video, you can click or select the word to look it up in the dictionary.
Loading...
Report Subtitle Errors
Ever wonder why some couples make it, and others don't?
Scientist Dr. John Gottman did.
He spent 40 years studying thousands of couples to find out exactly what separates
the relationship masters from the relationship disasters.
Shakespeare compared love to a rose.
Gottman uses a different metaphor:
an emotional bank account.
You know how a regular bank account works.
So what's an emotional bank account?
It represents the positive and negative balance in your relationship.
The best couples maintain a high balance.
Couples that break up are often in the red.
You make deposits through positive interactions, and you withdraw through negative ones.
What does a deposit look like?
It's a simple act of showing your partner that you care for and support them.
It's as easy as sending your partner a good luck text before a meeting or cooking them
dinner after a long day.
And pay attention when your partner shows you their admiration and support,
notice when they're investing in your relationship.
A withdrawal is either hurtful behavior toward your partner, or ignoring their invitations
to connect.
But withdrawals and deposits don't have equal weight!
In fact, Gottman found it takes five positive interactions to make up for one negative one.
Happy couples maintain AT LEAST this 5:1 ratio.
If you make constant deposits and keep your balance high,
you're saving up for a rainy day
when you'll need to cash in on that goodwill.
Gottman notes that small daily deposits,
like asking your partner how their day was,
is far more important than the occasional over-the-top romantic gesture.
Positivity leads to more positivity.
This is not about keeping score.
It's about investing in your relationship, and your shared emotional bank account,
moving from “Me-ness” to “We-ness.”
So keep your balance high by doing nice things every day and recognizing when your partner
does them for you.
You'll build up that emotional bank account in no time!
    You must  Log in  to get the function.
Tip: Click on the article or the word in the subtitle to get translation quickly!

Loading…

A2 Basic US

Invest in Your Relationship: The Emotional Bank Account | The Gottman Institute

14 Folder Collection
Mahiro Kitauchi published on June 15, 2020

Learning Words

loading

Comments

Loading…
More Recommended Videos

  1. 1. Search word

    Select word on the caption to look it up in the dictionary!

  2. 2. Repeat single sentence

    Repeat the same sentence to enhance listening ability

  3. 3. Shortcut

    Shortcut!

  4. 4. Close caption

    Close the English caption

  5. 5. Embed

    Embed the video to your blog

  6. 6. Unfold

    Hide right panel

  1. Listening Quiz

    Listening Quiz!

  1. Click to open your notebook

  1. UrbanDictionary 俚語字典整合查詢。一般字典查詢不到你滿意的解譯，不妨使用「俚語字典」，或許會讓你有滿意的答案喔