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  • - One time a guy said that he likes when people joke with him, so I texted him, "You suck."

  • And he never messaged me back.

  • (typing) (upbeat music)

  • - I mean, one that I send that fails all the time, is just, "How's your day going?"

  • - I'd say something suave, and like, kind of, an undertone of sex.

  • - I mean, almost always, it's contextual, I don't think I ever say, like, "Hey baby."

  • - How you doing?

  • - What you doing later, like, you looking good in this picture.

  • - "So what made you swipe right?"

  • - I wanna see you in real time, in my face, up and personal, close hot and steamy, you know.

  • - So I hit up this girl, her profile says, "Make me breakfast in the morning."

  • That's it.

  • And so, I was like, "Hey, so, "like what do you want for breakfast?"

  • And she goes, "You, obviously.

  • "Perhaps just send me your address."

  • - Woo! - Okay.

  • - Are you kidding me?

  • - Oh my god, it's attractive, yes, oh.

  • - I love this. - Like I melt, I'm in your hands, I'm yours.

  • - [Producer] You liked it?

  • - I liked it. - Fabulous.

  • (bell ringing)

  • - "Hey, you're hot.

  • "Let's hang out tomorrow."

  • (laughs)

  • It works, you know.

  • Sometimes.

  • It's endearing.

  • - I was just making small talk with somebody, and I said, "Not to brag, but I'm a child of divorce."

  • And that seemed to go over well.

  • - "How's your spirit?

  • "What brought you joy today?

  • "What made you smile?

  • Those are my top three questions, and they work every single time.

  • - I see something particular about them, write out a really thoughtful and crafted message, delete it, and then write, "What's up?"

  • - I try and do a high volume.

  • - No, no.

  • - Are you gonna invite me to your house before you move?

  • Because I wanna see your bed.

  • - Oh, ew.

  • - [Producer] So, it didn't happen?

  • - Not that night.

  • - Okay.

  • - Emojis.

  • The eyes are, I will say, that's had a decent success rate.

  • - I'll send a basketball emoji, like I'm shooting my shot.

  • And it'll go unanswered.

  • - Exes of mine will say a number, and they send back, "I have a girlfriend."

  • - "You're so beautiful."

  • Like, "Would you want to come to a beautiful place with me?"

  • And then it was just read, and I'm like, oh.

  • Okay, never mind.

  • - I don't even get left unread.

  • I don't get read at all.

  • - You have to actually say something.

  • - My success rate isn't that bad, I guess, if I can say that.

  • - The truth of the matter is that, like, you could say whatever the hell you want, to somebody, and if they're interested in you, they'll respond in kind, and if they're not, they're not.

  • I don't think the pick-up line's gonna make that big a difference.

  • - If I like the girl, I don't care what she says.

  • (typing)

- One time a guy said that he likes when people joke with him, so I texted him, "You suck."

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A2 US send typing producer breakfast success hey baby

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    たらこ posted on 2020/05/18
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