Subtitles section Play video
-
Hello. This is 6 Minute English from
-
BBC Learning English. I'm Neil.
-
And I'm Sam.
-
Do you cry easily, Sam? I mean, when
-
was the last time you cried?
-
Let me think... Last week watching
-
a movie, probably. I was watching
-
a really dramatic
-
film and in one scene, the heroine
-
gets separated from her children.
-
I just burst out crying.
-
How about you Neil - when was
-
he last time you cried?
-
Men don't cry, Sam.
-
Come on, Neil! That's a bit stereotypical,
-
isn't it? - the idea that men
-
don't show their
-
emotions and women cry all the time.
-
Well, that's an interesting point, Sam,
-
because in today's programme
-
we're discussing crying.
-
We'll be investigating the reasons why
-
we cry and looking at some
-
of the differences
-
between men and women and
-
between crying in public and
-
in private. And of course, we'll
-
be learning some related vocabulary
-
along the way.
-
I guess it's kind of true that women
-
do cry more than men. People
-
often think crying is
-
only about painful feelings but we also
-
cry to show joy and when we
-
are moved by something
-
beautiful like music or a painting.
-
So, maybe women are just more in touch
-
with their feelings and that's
-
why they cry more.
-
Well actually, Sam, that brings me
-
to our quiz question. According to
-
a study from 2017
-
conducted in the UK, on average, how
-
many times a year do women cry? Is it:
-
a) 52, b) 72, or c) 102?
-
Hmm, it's a tricky question, Neil.
-
I mean, there are so many different
-
reasons why people
-
cry. And what makes me cry might make
-
someone else laugh. I think
-
some of my female friends
-
probably cry around once a week, so I'll
-
guess the answer is a) 52.
-
OK, Sam. We'll find out later if you were
-
right. Now, while it may be true that men
-
cry less often, it also seems that they feel
-
less embarrassed about crying in public.
-
This may be because of differences in
-
how men and women think
-
others will view their
-
public displays of emotion. Here's BBC
-
Radio 4's Woman's Hour speaking
-
to therapist Joanna
-
Cross about the issue of crying at work.
-
Let's take the workplace. If you've got
-
somebody who seems to cry regularly,
-
I think that's
-
not helpful for the individual because then
-
if they cry over something that really is
-
important to them, they might not be
-
taken so seriously - or they
-
get a label. But I
-
do think crying is often a build-up of
-
frustration and undealt-with
-
situations and it's a bit
-
of a final straw moment.
-
So people who regularly cry at work
-
risk not being taken seriously - not
-
being treated
-
as deserving attention or respect.
-
And they might even get a label - become
-
thought of as having a particular
-
character, whether
-
that's true or not.
-
Here's Joanna Cross again:
-
You build up your resentments, your
-
lack of boundaries, not being able
-
to say 'no' and
-
then somebody says, 'Can you go and
-
make a cup of tea?' and you
-
suddenly find yourself
-
weeping. And everybody says,
-
'What's wrong with her?', you know, but actually
-
that's often a backlog
-
of situations.
-
So, a common reason for crying at work
-
seems to be a build-up
-
of resentments - feelings
-
of anger when you think you have been
-
treated unfairly or have been
-
forced to accept something
-
you don't like.
-
When left undealt with, these feelings
-
can create a backlog - an accumulation
-
of issues that you
-
should have dealt with before but didn't.
-
Right. And then, like Joanna says,
-
someone asks you to do something
-
very simple and easy,
-
like make a cup of tea, and you start
-
weeping - another word for crying.
-
That's a good example of a final straw
-
moment, a term which comes
-
from the expression, 'The
-
straw that broke the camel's back'.
-
The final straw means
-
a further problem which itself
-
might be insignificant but which finally
-
makes you want to give up.
-
I hope this programme won't be
-
the final straw for us, Sam.
-
I doubt it, Neil. The only time I cry at work
-
is when you used to bring in
-
your onion sandwiches
-
for lunch. In fact, I can feel a tear rolling
-
down my cheek right now...
-
Ah, so that counts as one of your cries,
-
Sam. Remember, I asked you
-
on average how many
-
times a year women in the UK
-
cry - and you said?
-
I said a) 52.
-
Well, don't cry when I tell you that you
-
were wrong. The actual answer
-
was c) 72 times a year.
-
Which on average is more than men,
-
but less than parents of new-born babies,
-
both mothers
-
and fathers. They cry almost as much
-
as their babies!
-
Today, we've been talking about crying - or
-
weeping, as it's sometimes called.
-
People who often cry at work risk not
-
being taken seriously - not treated
-
as deserving
-
of attention or respect.
-
This means they might get a label -
-
becoming known as someone with
-
a particular kind of
-
personality, even though that
-
may not be true.
-
But crying is also a healthy way of
-
expressing emotions. It can help
-
deal with resentments
-
- feelings of anger that you have
-
been treated unfairly.
-
If we don't deal with these feelings in
-
some way, they can grow into
-
a backlog - an accumulation
-
of unresolved issues that you now
-
need to deal with.
-
And if you don't deal with them, you might
-
become a ticking bomb
-
waiting to explode.
-
Then anything someone says to you can
-
become the final straw - the
-
last small problem which
-
makes you want to give up
-
and maybe start crying.
-
What's the matter, Neil?
-
Was it something I said?
-
No, Sam - I'm crying because it's
-
the end of the programme!
-
Ahh, don't worry because we'll be back
-
soon for another edition
-
of 6 Minute English. But
-
bye for now.
-
Bye.