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  • Over the past month,

  • the coronavirus outbreak

  • has changed Americans' lives

  • in previously unimaginable ways.

  • The news is full of scary headlines,

  • but in the midst of all that,

  • a few uplifting stories have emerged,

  • which brings us to a segment we call

  • "The Kind of Story We Need Right Now."

  • ♪♪

  • One thing dominating the news, these days,

  • is our nation's shortage of hand sanitizer.

  • Regular people don't have it.

  • Hospitals don't have it.

  • Not even overprotective moms with giant purses have it,

  • and they always have it.

  • So a liquor distillery in Rhode Island

  • called the Industrious Spirit Company

  • decided to make it

  • and they're giving it away for free.

  • One thing we have a lot of is very high-volume alcohol

  • that is a byproduct of making our vodka and our spirits.

  • We were like, "Hey, let's take this waste product

  • and turn it into something that will help people."

  • Here you go, buddy. -Thank you very,

  • very much. -Yeah, no problem.

  • We're calling it the "wish we could" window.

  • We wish we could give you a hug.

  • We can't. We can give you hand sanitizer.

  • [ Tapping ] This is the kind of story we need right now.

  • While other people are responding to this crisis

  • by hoarding stuff, those guys are responding

  • by giving stuff away. Do you have any idea

  • how much money they could be making?

  • Giving away hand sanitizer in 2020

  • is like giving away Cabbage Patch Dolls in 1985.

  • You wouldn't have done it, kids.

  • Also, I'm so psyched they can make it

  • and still make vodka, because, at first, I thought,

  • "Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

  • We do need both!"

  • Americans have been robbed of so many things we love

  • in the past few weeks, but, thanks to those guys,

  • now, we can have the thing Americans love most --

  • free stuff.

  • Meanwhile, in New York, due to the coronavirus outbreak,

  • officials canceled the city's St. Patrick's Day Parade

  • for the first time in 250 years,

  • so, on March 17th, one New Yorker found a way

  • to celebrate St. Paddy's Day safely on his balcony.

  • [ Bagpipes playing "God Bless America" ]

  • ♪♪

  • This is the kind of story we need right now.

  • That man helped people enjoy

  • the best part of St. Patrick's Day --

  • Irish culture -- without the worst part

  • of St. Patrick's Day --

  • drunk people yelling about how they're 1/16th Irish.

  • Plus, every time I've ever heard bagpipes,

  • I've had one thought -- "I wish they were just a little

  • farther away from me."

  • Also, shoutout to that guy's neighbor,

  • who is probably thinking, "That is not the story

  • I needed right now." I hear ya, buddy.

  • Thank you for your sacrifice.

  • By the way, when I realized he was playing

  • "God Bless America," I wasn't crying.

  • You were crying!

  • Over in Europe, several countries

  • have imposed strict lockdowns,

  • allowing citizens to leave their homes

  • only for groceries or medicine,

  • but that hasn't stopped Europeans from having fun,

  • like these two guys right here.

  • This is the kind of story we need right now.

  • Not only are those guys staying isolated,

  • they're inventing new sports.

  • And they're not the only ones.

  • These neighbors in Spain played Bingo

  • across an entire apartment complex.

  • Cuarenta y nueve.

  • Cuatro nueve.

  • Ochenta y nueve.

  • Ocho nueve.

  • And a farmer in Canada is selling pork to customers

  • by throwing it to them from his porch.

  • -Three! -Yep.

  • -Good man. Thanks for comin' through.

  • -Pork porch!

  • So that's balcony tennis,

  • long-distance Bingo,

  • and the pork toss.

  • When the Tokyo Olympics finally happen,

  • whenever they happen, they're gonna be lit.

  • And, while we're on the subject of Bingo,

  • Matthew McConaughey,

  • the one and only Matthew McConaughey,

  • and his family, hosted a virtual Bingo night

  • for members of a Texas senior living facility on Monday

  • and it was -- Well, take a look.

  • -We got a I-24.

  • I-24. -I-24.

  • Ohhhhh!

  • Richard Black is wavin' a hammer up high!

  • We got two winners!

  • This is the kind of story we need right now.

  • Wooderson grew into such a nice young man.

  • [ As Wooderson ] That's what I love about these senior livin' women.

  • I get older,

  • and so do they.

  • And, finally, in Upper Manhattan,

  • fiancées Reilly Jennings and Amanda Wheeler

  • were planning to get married this coming October.

  • But when the city started shutting down last month,

  • they ran to the New York City Marriage Bureau

  • and got a marriage license

  • and decided to get married right away, instead.

  • How did they do that while also maintaining

  • proper social distancing? Easy.

  • They stood on the sidewalk

  • with their guests spread around them at a safe distance

  • and had a friend marry them from a four-story window.

  • Do you, Amanda Wheeler,

  • solemnly declare that you take Reilly Jennings

  • to be your spouse?

  • Do you promise to love, honor, cherish, and keep her

  • for as long as you both shall live?

  • [ Hip hop plays ] If so, say, "I do."

  • -I do! [ Cheering ]

  • [ Applause ]

  • [ Crying ]

  • -By the powers vested in me by the state of New York,

  • -Whoo! -I pronounce you marrie-ie-ie-d!

  • [ Cheering ]

  • "My neighbor has a bagpipe.

  • Should I get him on his balcony?"

  • No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

  • This is the kind of story we need right now.

  • How good does it feel to watch a wedding

  • in the middle of a pandemic?

  • Plus, these women are livin' the dream.

  • They got to get married without planning a reception.

  • Most couples spend a full year tasting cakes, auditioning DJs.

  • These women looked at their wedding checklist and were like,

  • "Brides? Check.

  • Windows? Check.

  • Let's do this."

  • Nothing makes me happier than watching two people get married

  • without spending $5,000 on an ice sculpture.

  • And, most importantly, this story settled

  • an age-old argument.

  • Is it a sunroof?

  • Is it a moon roof?

  • Neither.

  • It is a wedding roof.

  • So much is hard right now and there's so much bad news,

  • so thanks to the people who are finding creative ways

  • to make the good news because, truly, more than ever,

  • these are the kind of stories we need right now.

  • ♪♪

Over the past month,

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The Kind of Story We Need Right Now: Coronavirus Good News Edition

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    Jade Weng posted on 2020/04/11
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