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  • Marie:        Hey it’s Marie Forleo and you are watching MarieTV, the place to

  • be to create a business and life you love and today is Q&A Tuesday, but get this, I

  • have a question for you: does this sound upset you?

  • Ah, crickets, the deafening silence that occurs when someone doesn’t respond to our email,

  • phone call or text or in some way fails to acknowledge that we exist. Maybe it’s after

  • a first date or a job interview or maybe youve reached out to a big shot in your industry.

  • Basically any situation that has you asking, we've all been there, right? Double and triple

  • checking spam, asking our friend to text us to make sure there's nothing wrong with our

  • phone, basically wondering what's wrong with us? Why did that person not get back to us?

  • Here’s what being blown off really says about you: nothing. Absolutely stinking nothing.

  • The hard truth you need to hear is this: the vast majority of the time when someone blows

  • you off or they fail acknowledge that you exist, most of the time it’s not about you.

  • Really.

  • One of my favorite books of all time is Don Miguel’s The Four Agreements and agreement

  • number two is don’t take anything personally. When Don says anything, he actually means

  • everything. Don’t take praise personally, don’t take criticism personally, and don’t

  • take anything anyone says or does personally. Don’t even take anything you say to yourself

  • personally. That’s both deep and confusing, but helpful.

  • Let me share a story from my own life as an example. There was this team of people that

  • I really wanted to work with. I read articles about them, watched interviews and totally

  • devoured their website. So I built them up in my head as THE people I had to work with,

  • so I sent them an email and I was really hoping for a fast response. What happened? You guessed

  • it. Finally, a response came back but it wasn’t exactly what I wanted to hear. These guys

  • were swamped; they had zero bandwidth and basically told me I had to wait two to three

  • months. Two to three months?! Immediately I took that as some kind of personal rejection

  • like I wasn’t big enough or cool enough to be worthy of their immediate attention.

  • Fast forward eight weeks and I could not get these people out of my mind, but I didn’t

  • want to seem like a needy little beotch and in my head I was sayingIf they don’t

  • want to talk to me, I don’t want to talk to them.” Thank God the non-egotistical

  • part of myself piped up and saidHey Marie, why not reach back out and check in? Maybe

  • they really do want to work with you but they were just swamped, kind of like you often

  • are.” So I got over myself and sent them a short email checking back in.

  • Hot damn, wouldn’t you know it? They got back to me within 20 minutes and they were

  • super pumped and really thankful that I followed up. So my point is this: them being nonresponsive

  • in the beginning had nothing to do with me; they were really swamped and they had less

  • than zero bandwidth. It was not personal like most things in life and thank goodness I followed

  • up.

  • The next time you feel insignificant, ignored or like nobody likes you, here are three things

  • you should keep in mind:

  • #1 - Don’t take anything personally. We gots to be down with some Toltec wisdom and

  • yes, it’s a tweetable:

  • Taking things personally is the maximum expression of selfishness. It makes the assumption

  • everything is about me.”

  • Most of the time, people not responding has nothing to do with you and if you tell the

  • truth now more than ever, people are drowning in overwhelm, so don’t make it about you

  • and just realize all of us are doing the best we can at any given time and none of us are

  • perfect at it.

  • #2 – Put the shoe on the other foot. Think about how many times you haven't gotten back

  • to someone because maybe you straight up forgot. You were overwhelmed. Maybe you didn’t have

  • an answer for them and it started to take some time and it just slipped through the

  • cracks, or maybe you didn’t answer them for so long and the guilt snowballed or what

  • about this: maybe you never got the communication in the first place.

  • #3 – Follow up nicely. A friendly follow up is often really appreciated. Here's the

  • thing: don’t make the person wrong for not getting back to you in the first place. Don’t

  • say, “I sent an email but I never heard back from you.” Do say, “Hey there, just

  • a friendly follow up. I know you're really busy and this email may have slipped off your

  • radar…” Being kind and compassionate and understanding in your follow up really goes

  • a long way.

  • Now before we wrap this up, I know what some of you are thinking; “But Marie, sometimes

  • it is personal.” I mean, all of us have gotten long, crazy, inappropriate and sometimes

  • down right annoying voicemails and emails. Now if you suspect that you need to improve

  • your communication skills, go for it, but since you are a smarty pants MarieTV viewer,

  • I'm going to make the assumption that you are not sending stuff out like that. So for

  • our purposes, don’t take anything personally is completely on point.

  • Now I want to turn it over to you and this week we have a two-part challenge. First up,

  • for the next 48 hours, I want us all to challenge ourselves not to take anything personally,

  • not the good stuff and certainly not the bad stuff. I know this is easier said than done

  • but it’s a really important muscle to build, especially if you're up to big things in the

  • world. Second, what's one example where you took something personally only to later find

  • out that the crazy drama you made up in your head was totally not true? Tell me about it

  • in the comments below.

  • As always, the best discussions happen after the episode over at MarieForleo.com so go

  • there and leave a comment now.

  • Did you like this video? I certainly did. If you liked it, subscribe and share it with

  • all your friends. If you want even more awesome resources to create a business and life that

  • you love, plus some personal insights from me that I only share in email, get those sweet

  • buns over to MarieForleo.com and sign up for email updates.

  • Stay on your game and keep going for your dreams because the world needs that special

  • gift that only you have. Thank you so much for watching and I’ll catch you next time

  • on MarieTV.

Marie:        Hey it’s Marie Forleo and you are watching MarieTV, the place to

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