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  • - We're streaming into the void Clara,

  • into the void of the internet.

  • (chuckles)

  • - We're, feeding content.

  • - Oh wait, is it working now?

  • - [Clara] We're back.

  • - Oh, my goodness.

  • Yes, hello.

  • We are back.

  • Everything is working.

  • Delightful, delightful.

  • I am delighted and happy to be back with everyone.

  • I don't know whether this is the same stream

  • or whether this has started as a new video.

  • We're not yet clear on that

  • because we're using a new encoder for the live streaming,

  • which means that we can have subtitles.

  • Because if you've watched one of my live streams before,

  • you know that we didn't have subtitles and now we do,

  • which is magnificent, excellent, right.

  • For anyone who missed the start of this little stream,

  • I'm gonna tell you what's going on.

  • So, captions of live streaming amazing

  • to test them and see how good they actually are

  • today in this lovely, calm, beautiful livestream.

  • I'm going to be reading to you from the book

  • on how to be the perfect modern woman,

  • written in the 1930's so, modern is subjective,

  • but we will be learning all about wonderful things

  • like the right corsets to wear to the beach,

  • why bathing is important and exactly

  • what you should be doing for your hackler.

  • Oh hello and Life on the Batteries

  • has been our first super chat of the day

  • and says they're doing a project on pots this summer

  • that it's very fun.

  • All right, I'm going to get you all to vote

  • using colored emojis,

  • to tell me what you would like to hear about first.

  • Is it the importance of liquids?

  • Oh does seem important.

  • Is it the ideal foot or is it the types of people?

  • So, vote with a red heart

  • if you would like to know about liquids,

  • a blue heart, if you'd like to know about the ideal foot

  • and a yellow heart if you'd like to know

  • about the types of people.

  • And now I wait for ages because your chat is delayed for me.

  • So we'll see.

  • I'm literally just waiting for colors to pop up.

  • No, there's nothing yet.

  • Oh, I've got pink.

  • People are giving me pink.

  • Oh, hello.

  • I've seen three blue hearts.

  • Oh, this is a mixture.

  • Oh God, actually.

  • Wow, that was a lot of yellows certainly, boom.

  • Okay, I'm going to say that the winner is yellow.

  • The types of people.

  • Let's begin.

  • (clears throat)

  • Are you a big blonde, a baby blonde,

  • a steaky brunette or the petite variety?

  • Please try not to be offended by the way,

  • by anything in this book.

  • I'm already offended and I've only just started reading it.

  • Blondes, the big blonde is the tall,

  • often highly colored type, needing very careful makeup,

  • careful clothes, and very often a careful diet

  • for whisper the words she is inclined to be plump.

  • How dare you?

  • How very dare you book?

  • How very dare you?

  • She looks magnificent in cloths with sweeping lines,

  • by reason of her lovely figure,

  • but it should be aware of ultra-fashions,

  • which tend to cause some her appearance.

  • You know what?

  • Actually, no, whatever the hell you like.

  • The baby blonde is the eternal little girl.

  • She can wear fluffy, frilly clothes.

  • Again, no startling fashions.

  • Lots of girls' rouge with a hint of tangerine, really?

  • And in general dressed in China ad.

  • No, I think you'll find, if you're a blonde

  • and you'd like to be a golf,

  • you go ahead and you'd be a don golf, all right.

  • Don't you listen to this crazy book.

  • Brunettes, the steaky brunette is really the showgirl

  • of the family.

  • Do you have a brunette in your family?

  • Is she the show girl?

  • Is that a thing?

  • She can look positively ill-favored

  • and yet maintain or represent a reputation for chic

  • that the other types would give their hairs to possess.

  • Only brunettes can be chic, ladies and gentlemen and others.

  • Only brunettes.

  • Great wonderful, good to know.

  • She can wear ultra clothes with a most distinguished hair.

  • She can experiment with her ego filled,

  • without looking cheap.

  • Makeup suits her wonderfully or again

  • she can look equally striking without any at all.

  • Wow, all right.

  • Well, it's all over for everyone else.

  • If you're brunette, you have apparently one life,

  • the rest of us give up now, give up now.

  • Lucky brunette, your charm lies

  • in the fascinating contrast of your dark hair

  • and creamy skin.

  • I see where they're going now, right, well.

  • That's enough about types.

  • Would we like to now learn about the ideal foot?

  • Of course, we would.

  • Be prepared.

  • I hope you've got your foot uncovered in front of you.

  • Are you checking it?

  • You should be.

  • I'll be looking at mine.

  • It's there.

  • I don't know if you can see it because these legs,

  • but it's there, right.

  • The ideal foot.

  • Thank you for that supper chat Sophie.

  • I didn't notice we have a new man who will be joining us.

  • Hello Fiona.

  • Welcome to the Kellgren-Fozard Club, thank you very much.

  • Right, so we've already learned that brunettes

  • are the wonders of the world.

  • Pick human, well done to them.

  • Now we're going to learn about the best foot.

  • The ideal foot is narrow and slim.

  • The heels soft and rounded, rosy in color

  • and the skin unblemished.

  • Are our foots fitting these?

  • Have we probably seen our feet?

  • The toe should lie flat.

  • I'm already ruined, all my toes are carved, sorry.

  • No, I was so close, with a great term

  • and little apart from its neighbors.

  • It should be possible to draw a straight line

  • from the inside of the great toe along the arch of the foot

  • to the heel.

  • Oh, straight, narrow, slim feet here people.

  • That's what we're after.

  • We would like a large gap between the big toe

  • and the other toes, very important.

  • Those little toes should all live very flat on the ground.

  • No carving.

  • I mean, I'm out, I'm ruined.

  • My feet are terrible, clearly.

  • Oh, disgusting.

  • Oh hello, welcome Steve

  • Also, a lovely new member

  • and thank you for that super chat Bookish Dancer.

  • I hope you guys have got good feet because I don't

  • so you gonna be making out for me, right.

  • The next time the feet are wet,

  • stand firmly upon them on some substance,

  • which will retain the wet impression,

  • study the outline and it should show the round Mark

  • of the heel and the ball of the foot.

  • Dear Lord, people, the hours that you must put in

  • to see whether your feet are perfect or not.

  • Thank you very much for that super chat Paulson,

  • have I ever been to Denmark?

  • I actually haven't, but I would love to go to Denmark.

  • I've heard you have castles

  • and I am quite partial to a castle.

  • Let's be honest.

  • And most of the restaurants are good.

  • Well, that's exciting too.

  • And another new member.

  • Hello, 3000 Smiles.

  • Is that a