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  • Okay.

  • The first subject is things you wouldn't hear over Tannoy.

  • We apologize for the July fuck knows when Brexit happening.

  • Theo train on Platform three has been cancelled because it said something racist on my way.

  • Please do not leave your Children unattended.

  • Unattended Children will be removed and destroyed on.

  • If you look out of the window on your left, you will see Christ the Redeemer because I've crashed the plane and this is the afterlife thing is cashier number five.

  • Can I get a price check?

  • Can I get a price check for one large top of gasoline on one cucumber always.

  • Okay, He's gone.

  • Theme A moment.

  • The flight crew will remind you you're in a metal tube which can fall out of the sky.

  • Please pay attention that they tell you about a whistle that in no way will save your life.

  • This is a reminder to smokers.

  • This isn't no smoking flights.

  • And this is a reminder to vapors.

  • You don't look as cool as you think.

  • You D'oh Amsterdam brothel!

  • Us would like to apologize for the yelp of pain.

  • You just heard unexpected item in the shagging area.

  • Hello.

  • This is your pilot speaking just to prove that I am not too drunk to use the tile.

  • Oi, Geoff.

  • Just a reminder that when we asked you to report anything that doesn't look right, we mentor like terrorist stuff, not just the baby wearing ripped jeans.

  • So avoid congestion.

  • Please walk right to the end of the platform through the tunnel, onto the next thing.

  • Don't forget, you can take advantage of money deals in store today or go with no deal because we're British Way.

  • If you see something that doesn't look right, please ignore it.

  • This is England, after all.

  • See it.

  • Feel uncomfortable about it?

  • Sorted.

  • This is your pilot, Captain Mohammed Kasim.

  • Psych.

  • It's John Smith.

  • This'll is an announcement for the man in the petting zoo.

  • Heavy petting is not allowed.

  • Get your tongue out of that llama way!

  • Just pulled out of Paddington.

  • Nobody expected 1/3 way.

  • This is your train driver.

  • I don't wish to alarm you, but it seems that we have traveled into space now.

  • Nobody.


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