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  • Is it a parallel universe where you're hosting?

  • Meet the press.

  • I think there should be, But they'd be like in that Star Trek episode.

  • Whenever there's a parallel universe, the people in the other universe have little goatees.

  • Like Spot has a goatee, and, um, you know, everyone has a slight difference.

  • So I think it's a parallel universe where I host meet the press, but I have a little goatee and slightly evil eyebrows.

  • You're going to be an answer about your political Proclivities and why, actually, you know?

  • Yes.

  • Why?

  • You could have pursued that route.

  • And, you know, if you could only go back, but no.

  • Instead, you have a goatee and different eyebrows.

  • Yes.

  • Okay.

  • Cool.

  • Yeah, we're not gonna waste your time with, uh, you know, let me give a curiosity about that stuff in a way that would ideo I have a lot of curiosity.

  • I mean, I I think you and I are both curious souls.

  • Eww.

  • I think you've asked me as many questions today as I've asked you.

  • Most people are content to let me do all the questioning, right?

  • Uh, you, um you are a curious man.

  • I'm a curious man.

  • I think it's an alternate universe where you and I have like ah ah ah, Very sophisticated.

  • Like Huntley Brinkley is a very old reference kids, But look it up kind of show there.

  • You and I are dissecting the national discourse every night, and people really admire us, right?

  • Sure.

  • But then you're vaguely aware that you have a big movie career in another universe and you're pretty pumped about that.

  • You're but you're pissed that you're not in there, that I'm not in that one.

  • But this goatee.

  • Yeah.

  • And you have a weird goatee.

  • Yeah, and I'm actually ah, happy that I'm in the universe, Simon, But I'm getting a break from my family's his fascinate.

  • We're both aware of our parallel lives, but one person is happy to be in this other situation, and the other person laments the fact that they're in this body.

  • I'm happy that I'm in the other universe because my cholesterol is slightly lower there too, Right?

  • Right, right.

  • You know, my cholesterol is like a solid 1 30 right?

  • It's and then in the universe where I'm Conan O'Brien, the talk show host comedian.

  • It's pushing 200 right, Right.

  • My hair does better in humidity in the other body.

  • Fergus.

  • Exactly.

  • Again, were you and I to take a long car trip?

  • Sure.

  • I think I think they'd be a few hours.

  • Where were the closest of friends?

  • Sure.

  • And then I think as we start to get out to the Badlands, you think we'd make it to the Badlands?

  • Yes, I'm flattered.

  • Thank you.

  • Honored?

  • Ah, we get to the badlands.

  • I think I would contrive a way.

  • What are we going?

  • West to east or East?

  • West?

  • East west is how I would want you cluttering.

  • Thank you.

  • Yeah, we get all the way to the badlands.

  • I'm sorry.

  • The Badlands of Massachusetts.

  • Oh, got it.

  • Got it.

  • Got it?

  • Yeah.

  • There's a visit to desert areas.

  • It's about area Western Massachusetts.

  • Yeah, it's just not a good neighborhood.

  • Yeah, but anyway, I think, uh, yeah, I think I might contrive a way to, ah, to lure you into the woods and thanks.

  • Try and end.

  • You sure?

  • Sure, Sure, Sure.

  • I think you'd win, but I'd bite your a biter.

  • Yeah.

  • Ah, it's kind of silly, but if we get one thing out of this.

  • I would love to have your address.

  • Not here on the air.

  • But you are a Ah, you're a a great fellow.

  • I have a lot of admiration for you.

  • And I would like to occasionally write you a stupid note.

  • Oh, thank you.

  • So if that happened, I will shred it.

  • Ah, you will.

Is it a parallel universe where you're hosting?

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Listen To Jesse Eisenberg On "Conan O'Brien Needs A Friend"

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    林宜悉 posted on 2020/03/26
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