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  • - It all comes down to this.

  • If we lose this game, I'm deactivating all my accounts.

  • If we lose this game, Christmas is canceled.

  • If we lose, at least Jason Garrett's gonna get fired.

  • How is Dak's shoulder doing?

  • Lane Johnson is out.

  • We gotta listen to Joe Buck

  • and Troy Aikman all day, great.

  • Dak made sure to say defer this time.

  • Is Sean Lee playing, Sean Lee's playing.

  • Eagles getting the ball to start.

  • A long pass to JJ Arcega Whiteside.

  • Not an ideal start.

  • Great defense, Byron Jones.

  • No pass interference on Ertz.

  • Can we stop them on third down?

  • Nice hit Xavier Woods.

  • Bet Ertz wish he didnʼt up for that one.

  • Robert Woods, nice tackle for a loss.

  • Good stop, D, are they kicking a field goal?

  • ll take a field goal out of that.

  • Did we really go three and out?

  • Did they run into the kicker?

  • There were two penalties on us, wow.

  • Who is our special teams coordinator, fire him!

  • How are we letting them drive down the field so easily?

  • Dallas Goedert scored a touchdown.

  • What is our defense doing?

  • Do they know this game is for the NFC East Championship?

  • Am I about to be mad on Christmas?

  • Three and out again on offense, bruh.

  • We gotta kick-catch interference penalty?

  • Fire the special teams coordinator.

  • There was no penalty, oh okay.

  • Did the Cowboys defense just get a three and out, okay.

  • The first quarter was

  • the fewest yards in any quarter this year?

  • Gallup, what a catch, oh, 41-yard catch.

  • That ball was behind Gallup, we gotta have that.

  • What type of spot was that?

  • Dak got that first down on that rush.

  • Are we kicking it?

  • Kobra Kai Forbath is the truth!

  • I thought he missed it. Forgot he's not Brett Maher.

  • I don't wanna hear about the Eagles injuries,

  • injuries are a part of the game.

  • Xavier Woods intercept that, the ball was tipped.

  • Good tipped pass, DeMarcus Lawrence.

  • How do they blow the ball dead after we get it?

  • Witten, how do you miss that catch?

  • What are we doing on offense?

  • Can we tackle Sanders?

  • They really gave Jeff Heath a late hit penalty?

  • How is that a late hit?

  • Thank you for getting off the field defense, about time.

  • There we go Zeke, don't get away from the run game too soon.

  • How do you drop that pass, Cooper?

  • That was an easy first down.

  • What type of punt was that, Chris Jones?

  • Is Chris Jones garbage now?

  • Now we're just lining up offsides, Robert Quinn.

  • Field goal attempt, 53-yard'er, no good,

  • he pulled a Maher.

  • Let's go, we can get some points out of this.

  • There we go, Gallup.

  • Almost in field goal range.

  • We're playing for the field goal?

  • Let's go, Kai Forbath, easy.

  • That curve gets me every time, I think it's goin' out.

  • Brett Maher would've missed both field goals.

  • We're 0-7 seven when we trail at halftime?

  • About to change today.

  • We're a third quarter team.

  • Let's get it goin' offense, here we go.

  • We have to stop dropping catches!

  • C'mon, Randall Cobb.

  • Nice first down catch, Zeke.

  • We got something going this drive.

  • Why did we take Zeke out on third and short?

  • Why did we run the option?

  • Did Pollard fumble, no.

  • Pollard fumbled it and the Eagles got it.

  • Eagles are gonna win the challenge.

  • Is Zeke injured?

  • He just took himself out of the game.

  • Why would Joe Buck say that?

  • Great pressure, Demarcus Lawrence.

  • They couldn't do anything with the turnover.

  • Blake Jarwin, nice catch, he's the future.

  • Coop was wide open, Dak just missed him.

  • Our defense can't stop anything.

  • How is Greg Ward wide open?

  • If Jeff Heath okay?

  • The crowd is really booing him.

  • Philly has the worst fans in the league.

  • Of course they score on third and goal.

  • Sanders just walked in, just walked in for a touchdown.

  • Honestly, that could be game with the way we're playing.

  • How are we losing to the Eagles? This is disgusting!

  • Xavier Su'a-Filo is down, great.

  • Why are we passing on third and one?

  • That was almost intercepted by Maddox.

  • And we're punting again, great.

  • Can we stop the screens, we know they're gonna screen.

  • Sanders is killing us.

  • Jeff Heath, nice tackle for a loss on Scott.

  • They're going for a 55-yard field goal?

  • Jake Elliot missed it.

  • Jake Elliott is the best player on the Cowboys right now.

  • Is he related to Brett Maher?

  • We can't go three and out right here.

  • Are we going for the fourth and nine?

  • Thank you Cobb, let's go.

  • Another fourth down, now we're gonna kick it?

  • 49-yard attempt.

  • Right down the middle.

  • I don't know why we didn't go for it,

  • we're still down eight.

  • Let's go defense, we can't let them score any points.

  • Goedert catches it on third and six, of course.

  • Fumble, Wentz got it back, dang.

  • Incomplete pass on the screen.

  • Fourth down baby, here we go Dak, it's your time to shine.

  • Tavon Austin was wide open. You gotta hit that, Dak.

  • Gallup! It was off his hands.

  • Cobb first down, two minute warning.

  • Dak got sacked. You can't take that sack.

  • That's fine we got four downs, fourth down.

  • This is the game right here.

  • Fourth and eight, Michael Gallup for a touchdown.

  • They broke up the pass, that's the game.

  • How's that not pass interference.

  • And we let them get a first down, wow.

  • I'm done! Technically, we could still make the playoffs.

  • I don't even wanna go to the playoffs.

  • I want Jason Garrett fired.

  • Jason Garrett is complete trash.

  • We don't deserve to make the playoffs.

  • Only good thing that's gonna come about this

  • is that Jason Garrett gets fired.

  • What a pathetic display of football.

  • How do we not even score a touchdown?

  • All I want for Christmas is a new head coach.

  • That heck what was Amari Cooper doing all game?

  • Why wasn't Amari Cooper in on fourth down?

  • Wait, he wasn't injured?

  • Dak was off all game.

  • All the receivers wanna drop the catches.

  • Zeke didn't get enough carries, again.

  • I'm sick and tired of this.

  • All this talent we got wasted by Jason Garrett:

  • The clapper.

  • I need you next week, Giants.

  • I'm done, no one talk to me.

  • Christmas is officially canceled.

  • We ain't never gonna win,

  • as long as he's the head coach.

  • I'm done!

  • (somber piano music)

  • I'm a grown man.

- It all comes down to this.

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