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  • These are the indisputable facts about mother nature's cruelest predator:

  • the Hedgehog. The difference between a hedgehog and a porcupine is that

  • porcupines have no moral courage

  • and they are imaginary. Porcupines don't exist.

  • A hedgehog has two parts:

  • a spiny exoskeleton and a fleshy underbelly called "the scrotum," by idiots.

  • In nature, the diet of a hedgehog consists of small insects, leaves, and grass and the tears of angels,

  • which taste like chicken tears. The hedgehog is technically a legume.

  • And therefore has a second brain inside of its nipple.

  • The sense of smell of a hedgehog is so acute

  • it can smell a single drop of fish in an entire swimming pool filled with human blood.

  • The hedgehog has a roaming territory of 135 miles. In a straight line. Half an inch wide.

  • The hedgehog does not mate for life.

  • It mates for death, which is why it's considered the best lover in the world.

  • Which makes no sense. Unless you've been f***ed by a hedgehog.

  • Only one hedgehog in history has farted.

  • That is how the universe began.

  • To a hedgehog, an ordinary toilet paper roll looks like a really f***ing giant toilet paper roll.

  • Like really f***ing huge. Like wipe a giant's ass huge, seriously.

  • If you could climb into one, you would, too.

  • Like the duck, the hedgehog can sing, but only in monotone.

  • The alphabet song would sound like, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNO--"

  • The nation of France was named after a hedgehog.

  • That hedgehog was named Kevin. Don't ask.

  • There are no hedgehogs in captivity. Instead, we are held captive by the hedgehog.

These are the indisputable facts about mother nature's cruelest predator:

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B2 hedgehog toilet paper toilet ing smell giant

True Facts About The Hedgehog (Redo)

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    hhhiii posted on 2014/02/20
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