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  • It's a new year which means many laws

  • that were passed last year are now going into effect.

  • So tonight, we're gonna take a look at some of the laws

  • you need to know about in our ongoing segment,

  • "New Laws, Who Dis?"

  • -♪ ♪ -(applause and cheering)

  • First up-- Arkansas.

  • It's one of the top 50 states in America.

  • (laughter)

  • And now, a new law there is shaking up the world of science.

  • The Natural State is taking a stance against human cloning.

  • A new law in Arkansas bans

  • public funding for human cloning

  • or destructive embryo research.

  • The penalty-- a class A misdemeanor and $1,000 fine.

  • Oh. Sorry, people of Arkansas.

  • New year, no new you. That's right.

  • If you try to do human cloning in Arkansas,

  • you will face a $1,000 fine.

  • Which doesn't seem like enough to stop someone from doing it.

  • I'm not gonna lie.

  • Like, I don't know if there's a mad scientist somewhere

  • who's like, "My clone army will take over the world!

  • "Wait. A thousand dollars? Mah! Forget it!

  • I'll go back to the carwash."

  • For real, $1,000 is not much of a fine to get a clone.

  • Like, especially if you can just split the fine

  • with your clone. Then it's half.

  • You know who I really feel bad for?

  • All the twins in Arkansas. Yeah.

  • 'Cause the cops are gonna be stopping them all the time like,

  • "We don't take to clones around here."

  • It's like, "No, we were born this way."

  • "Prove it. Describe your Mom's vagina."

  • (laughter, groaning)

  • But the new laws of 2020 aren't just

  • about what you can do with your body.

  • Some of them are also about what you are putting into it.

  • On New Year's Day,

  • the FDA's new nutritional labeling rules kicked in,

  • launching a host of changes to the way

  • that manufacturers are required to label packaged foods.

  • One of the biggest changes

  • that you'll notice requires large food manufacturers

  • to list two different columns

  • on the nutrition labels for their products.

  • So one listing the nutrition facts for a single serving,

  • the other new label listing the nutrition facts

  • -for the entire package. -WOMAN 2: Ah.

  • -WOMAN: So think, bag of chips, pint of ice cream. -Mm.

  • Anything not good for that New Year's resolution.

  • -Yes. Yes. -(laughter, applause)

  • Thank you. Thank you.

  • This has been pissing me off for so long.

  • How you gonna put the serving,

  • and then the bag is another serving?

  • Like, I picked up a bag of chips,

  • and it's, like, 100 calories. I'm like, "Oh, that's great."

  • Then after I eat the bag, I look back.

  • It's, like, five servings per bag.

  • What the hell! Why would you put five servings into one bag?

  • What, you think I'm gonna call four of my friends, like,

  • "You guys want to come over? I've got a bag of chips!"

  • (laughter)

  • But even with the new label,

  • a lot of people don't even understand what calories mean.

  • So I think they need to give us practical information,

  • you know, like how much your tummy will hurt

  • after you eat the food. Yeah.

  • How many pimples you'll get the next day.

  • Maybe, like, a scratch-and-sniff label to let you know

  • how your farts will smell after you eat the food. Yeah?

  • So you can be like... (sniffs) "Oh, Goddam!

  • Yeah, I'm still gonna eat them."

  • I do like having the information, though.

  • I won't lie.

  • In fact, I wish they did it for more than just food.

  • Wouldn't it be great if people came

  • with warning labels with nutrition, yeah?

  • So you knew what you were getting into

  • when you meet someone.

  • Be like, "Wow. Two servings of douchebag.

  • "Okay, okay. Well, I can work with that.

  • I can work with it."

  • (applause and cheering)

  • And finally, while the FDA is working to be more transparent,

  • New Jersey has a new law

  • allowing some things to stay private.

  • MAN: 18 new laws go into effect in New Jersey this year.

  • One of the most talked about is a law barring employers

  • from using salary history to screen potential workers.

  • The bill's sponsor says employers were

  • previously able to ask about salary history,

  • which they argue perpetuated a wage gap

  • that favored men over women.

  • Okay, now this is actually a great law.

  • Because, you see, before this,

  • instead of paying people based on the work,

  • some employers were underpaying people

  • based on their previous earnings,

  • which was suppressing, especially women's wages.

  • If you don't get paid well, you go to the next job.

  • They're like, "How much were you paid?

  • We'll pay you the same, but a little bit more."

  • The wage gap just continued to grow.

  • But now, bosses can't ask that question.

  • I bet they're gonna find ways to try, though, you know?

  • Yeah, they're just gonna be like,

  • "So, uh, when you watch Hulu, do you have ads?"

  • (laughter)

  • "Okay. No? Okay, okay, okay.

  • Can you start on Monday? Okay."

  • So hopefully, this new law will help a lot of people,

  • because your past salary shouldn't determine

  • what you get in the future.

  • I mean, imagine if that happened with other things in life.

  • Like, when you get into a new relationship,

  • they negotiate based on your previous one, you know?

  • You'd be like, "So my ex only lasted two minutes in bed."

  • Be like, "Okay, well, great.

  • "Uh, I'll bump that up to three and a half.

  • Is that good? Yeah?"

It's a new year which means many laws

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