B1 Intermediate 5 Folder Collection
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The 2020 election
has 538 electoral votes up for grabs
and it seems like just as many candidates trying to get them.
But with all this choice,
some voters are having a hard time narrowing it down.
The problem right now is also there are
just too many candidates, and the field is so wide.
So, I know some folks who are really not committing
to anybody right now because they feel
like there are so many candidates.
Are you waiting for one to say something
where you're like, "That's it"?
Yeah, I guess I am. (laughs)
You have it narrowed down to a couple you like
or you're just wide open?
I don't know.
Oh, they're so coy.
"I don't know."
But this is a really good question.
How do you decide which candidate deserves your vote?
Do you go by policy? Do you go by charisma?
Do you go by who's got the best abs?
If only,
if only there was a service that could match you
to your ideal candidate without you having to do all the work.
Well, luckily, we at The Daily Show found one.
I've always been curious about what candidate to vote for,
but how am I supposed to decide?
With my brain? Gross.
It's so wet.
And "reading policies to help me choose"?
What do I look like, someone who cares
about the future of the country?
I just wish there was a test to tell me who to pick.
ANNOUNCER: Now there is.
(bleep) yeah!
Introducing 538andMe,
the only DNA test that matches you to a candidate
on the politico-genetic level.
Your 538andMe kit comes with everything you need.
First, spit into your vial.
(hawking loudly)
(spits)
Then use the rectal swabs as directed.
What?
Just do it.
Next, seal up your kit and send it to our labs.
You should get your own mailbox.
There, we'll analyze your sample to find out
the candidate you should vote for based on your DNA.
It says here that I'm two-thirds MAGA on my dad's side.
That's why I'm prone to "economic anxiety"
whenever I see immigrants.
Apparently, I carry the gene for socialism
and uncombable hair.
-Let's go, Bernie. -(chuckles)
Wow, what a fun way to think about who I might vote for.
Oh, no, there's no thinking with 538andMe.
Upon completion of your test, you are legally bound to vote
for whatever candidate your genes dictate.
Oh. Uh... I don't-- I don't know if I'm comfortable with that.
Too late. Using your DNA,
we've created a clone of you.
So you can sit back and relax on Election Day,
while your double goes to your registered polling location.
I think it's my civic duty to cast my own vote.
Don't worry about it. That's what I'm here for.
No, I think I'd rather.
I said, that's what I'm here for.
The terms and conditions you agreed to
were very clear.
You're not going anywhere. (chuckles)
Any attempt to deny the results of your DNA test
will result in severe consequences.
♪ ♪
538andMe.
Let your spit do the voting.
(cheering and applause)
Desi and Jaboukie, everyone.
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Let Your Spit Do the Voting with 538andMe | The Daily Show

5 Folder Collection
林宜悉 published on March 24, 2020
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