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  • confidences.

  • Look, what I can do and trust is I have support to do what I can do.

  • And what we want is both.

  • And when women don't feel trust that they have the support they need, then their stress levels go up when men don't have confidence that they can do what's required to produce the result they need and they get the message is that you're doing that.

  • They lose confidence.

  • Their stress goes up.

  • Everybody, this is Jason Campbell, and welcome to this session of your mind Valley membership for this episode I bring to you someone was actually quite familiar.

  • He's been part of consciousness engineer in the past, and he talked about about relationships in love.

  • But for this time as part of our impact category, we're gonna be talking about men and women in the workplace, and this man needs no introduction.

  • And if you're not aware of him, he has written over 20 books has been featured on countless channels, including Oprah, Dr Oz and countless other media outlets in the U.

  • S.

  • Mars and Venus in the workplace has been read by millions, and he is one of the leading experts.

  • When it comes to relationships, psychology between men, women and how we function in the world today, specifically in the workplace, we're going to be challenging some of the rules.

  • And the models of reality that you're gonna learn are gonna shift the way that you think how we interact together in the workplace.

  • I'm very excited to bring Dr John Grey for this episode of mine Valley membership.

  • John.

  • Welcome to the show.

  • So most people actually know you for your best selling book.

  • Men Are From Mars.

  • Women are from Venus, which talk about the interactions of men and women in a romantic environment.

  • But you've also extensively spoke about how we interact in the workplace.

  • Absolutely.

  • It's very important.

  • The same principles that men and women are different apply in the workplace.

  • But they do apply differently.

  • They're two different worlds.

  • There's our personal life.

  • And then there's our work life, and we can't expect them.

  • They all have the same rules.

  • But what is universal is it whether you're a home and a romantic relationship, parental with your Children, men and women, boys and girls.

  • Their difference.

  • They're different emotional needs, and we cope with stress differently.

  • in the workplace, you have differences between men and women.

  • Now the old fashioned thinking is that men could do the job better.

  • That's not relevant today anymore.

  • We know that women can do the job you want to say equal, if not better than men.

  • It's certain jobs when we're going to be better at certain jobs.

  • Men are gonna be better at.

  • But a woman can learn to do anything a man can do to a great extent.

  • And a man can learn to do anything a woman can do to a great extent.

  • So the question of our women competent to be in the workplace is out of date.

  • Now they proven themselves.

  • But there's still the challenges of good communication, cooperation and having the insight and understanding many women's different emotional needs.

  • As a leader in the workplace, I have way better skills to create a team.

  • People that are cooperating, collaborating, feeling, valued, feeling respective, getting honored because I take into consideration their different needs to cope with stress, to feel good about themselves and to get the support that will allow them to have a better personal life, as well as to be more effective in the workplace, and you mentioned a lot about how we have to do a bit of differences in treating them, because I know there's a rule that many people believe that we should just treat everybody equally men and women in the workplace.

  • Would you agree with that?

  • Well, from one perspective, we should treat everybody equally with respect.

  • But everybody's different, and everybody has different talents and skills.

  • You know, suddenly we've got jobs to do, and now everybody can take turns doing those jobs.

  • No, something we're gonna be better at some jobs, other people to be better.

  • Other jobs.

  • That's very obvious.

  • So when it comes to men and women, that's not the defiant deciding factor.

  • But when it comes to how to interact with a woman so that she feels valued and appreciated and honored and respected, there's extra insights that can provide that support, whether it be a co worker, your boss, your employees, a customer, someone your marketing to you're always dealing with people's ability to feel good.

  • We want people to steal good and motivated as supposed to feel bad to try to motivate them.

  • I think our new paradigm is how to help people feel good and be motivated, and that takes into consideration what are their needs.

  • And we understand from my books the differences between men and women.

  • You realize that certain things are more important than men to cope with stress.

  • Certain things are more important to women to cope with stress.

  • And when you know that you create an environment which is able to counter act the high stress of our modern life today by being able to go to a workplace where you feel emotionally supported, where you go to your when you're in a store and you're buying a product, how are you treated there?

  • Does that that determines why you go back to that store.

  • People don't realize that people don't always say I don't like the way you're treating May they just don't come back to your stores.

  • So you talk about stress, and it sounds like meet like men women.

  • We deal with stress very differently.

  • I'd like to be able to focus.

  • Let's start with women.

  • Howard.

  • Is it the distinctive way that women deal with stress that we should be very much aware in the workplace?

  • Well, this is where it comes down to.

  • Why men and women are different cause from a level of consciousness.

  • Really, we all have masculine feminine qualities to simplify.

  • We could see a mask.

  • Inequality is, uh, confidence and a feminine qualities.

  • Trust now to the UN, discerning mine, confidence and trust sort of feel the same, actually, very, very different confidences.

  • Look what I can do and trust is I have support to do what I can do, and what we want is both.

  • And when women don't feel trust that they have the support they need, then their stress levels go up.

  • When men don't have confidence that they can do what's required to produce the result they need and they get the message is that you're doing that.

  • They lose confidence, their stress goes up.

  • So just looking at those of many other parameters, we could look out.

  • But the bottom line is masculine qualities that men aren't grounded in their masculine qualities.

  • Then their stress will go up.

  • If women are not being supported to be grounded and their feminine qualities, their stress will go up.

  • So let's say a woman is very confident a job, but she doesn't trust anybody to help her.

  • She'll get the job done, but she's not going to sleep that night.

  • She's gonna be worrying and she's gonna be stressing out and that's good.

  • Eventually interfere with her performance.

  • Okay, she'll burn out.

  • And women are burning out today a lot in the workplace.

  • And so what would you say is some of the biggest errors that both men and women would be doing when let's interacting with with women in the workplace?

  • And, you know, it's a stressful situation.

  • They're not offering that trust.

  • Is there a common mistake that we often do that actually doesn't help the situation?

  • Oh, there's so many.

  • Has a big long list.

  • Were two books on this stuff.

  • Okay, so they it's it's there's an old paradigm.

  • But the old paradigm worked for men in the workplace, and there's a lot of thought today, which is, uh, you know, the workplace is against women.

  • Workplace was against the people.

  • That is for the people that used to be in the workplace, all the rules of the workplace, a really designed to support masculine qualities.

  • And it's also to support the best environment for men because women weren't in it.

  • So it sze all the rules.

  • So the speaker, there to support men and women don't feel supported quite often because these rules are not there to support her.

  • And but it's not personal.

  • It's not like somebody said, Let's create a bunch of rules that won't support women.

  • It's just like the men were doing that, whether when we're pregnant and so forth and staying in the home.

  • They weren't doing the work for money thing.

  • They were working for love.

  • And so it's a difference.

  • It's a whole two different planets here, so it's not like it's against women, but it doesn't have a consciousness of women need, and that's what we need to bring it to work place for men.

  • Ah, greater awareness of what women required to have a more positive experience and for women to understand what men why men don't provide that for them because they're oblivious.

  • They don't.

  • You know, you could easily take it personally when you're feeling ignored by someone.

  • But if you understand men, you realize that well, what men do when they're focused on the problem is they tend to forget everything else, including you and when women have a problem, what they do is they tend to expand and be more inclusive of others.

  • And so if we understand these air sort of natural tendencies when they show up, they don't always show up.

  • But when they show up, you don't think it's so personally.

  • For example, one of the ways that women will feel good and stimulate, and this is actually very biological.

  • It's not just psychological, it is psychological.

  • It is conditioning.

  • It is nurturing.

  • That makes us this way.

  • So this big.

  • But it's also nature.

  • This it's both because there is his biological reality, which is very different for men and women.

  • Certain interactions raise the stress hormones and women that might relax the hormones for men.

  • A simple example of that is when I drive fast, I relax, my wife gets stressed.

  • How simple is that?

  • Risk and danger actually stimulate testosterone, testosterone, lower stress and men helps men thio effectively cope with stress until they lose confidence, then risk in danger without confidence.

  • His testosterone turns the estrogen, and it's stress goes up now for women.

  • Risk and danger basically will stimulate testosterone in her.

  • But what testosterone does for women is it lowers their estrogen, and estrogen is the hormone that women need for well being.

  • So you see how these women today actually taking estrogen or taking drugs because the anti depressants and anxiety pills and sleeping pills and everything cause their hormones are out of balance.

  • Often they have now they're not taking hormones as opposed to learning how to make those hormones.

  • The workplace can be a setting.

  • It supports women and producing Maur, estrogen and other female hormones progesterone, oxytocin and for men.

  • It's a place which is really designed to promote testosterone and what as we look into the masculine feminine qualities, then we can start creating an environment which is more habitable and supportive for women in the workplace without having to sort of kick all the men out, which in some environments get rid of the guys that just have women and they kind of have their way of doing things or the guys have their way of doing things.

  • The workplace will always flourish when you get an integration of masculine feminine, because that is it Sze True, it's true that all of us have a male and female side And when those two sides come forth and harmony, then we're in flow.

  • And then we're in a creative state than our hearts are open and our minds air clear.

  • We can achieve our goals.

  • We don't have the stress that impedes success.

  • And that's the whole thing is keep the stress levels down, keep our hearts open, keep our minds open, and then we're working together to produce the desired result.

  • As soon as our hearts close, we're not doing that well.

  • You're going through so much content in one sentence and one snap.

  • I love it.

  • And this to me, it's like it's music to my ears because, you know, I'm fairly new within the workplace.

  • And what I found fascinating is thinking about how it's this whole industrial form or industrialized format of working and women joining the workforce.

  • It's actual, quite recent in the history of humanity that this has happened.

  • That's just it.

  • Just to make that point again, it's so so significant.

  • Never, ever and 1000 million.

  • Dionne's men and women did not work side by side.

  • They had their separate roles and the roles that women had traditionally actually our behaviors that stimulate estrogen safety oxytocin, socializing.

  • Working for love stimulates progesterone, estrogen, oxytocin.

  • These air the hormones they have to be in balance with with their testosterone to keep their stress low.

  • But a man, This is biological truth.

  • A man requires 2010 that 30 to 40 times more testosterone, depending on the man and order to keep his stress levels down.

  • A woman requires 10 to 20 times more estrogen than then in order to keep her stress down.