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  • Like December of 2017, my brother and his girlfriend at the time they were both asleep in this bed.

  • The lights were off, and it was the middle of the night.

  • I came into the room like a psycho.

  • I was in the piano and I just started playing the piano.

  • But I remember, like coming up with this.

  • That's just like chord progression that I thought was beautiful, and I wrote this tiny little lyric that I just kept looping over and over again.

  • It was just, like, played with them and mess with them.

  • - We had a very, like, jazzy Frank Sinatra view on the whole song, and Daniel Caesar, Frank Sinatra.... - Bublé. - Bublé, Johnny Mathis.

  • Here we found a drum loop, and then laid an electric bass, and that's like the whole verse is those two things, and Billie's voice.

  • That's it.

  • Yeah, so the day we wrote "Zani."

  • Um, the night before, I had been with a group of my friends and they all got drunk, and we're throwing up, and I wasn't.

  • And drooling.

  • And they were all you know...they're drooling, thrown up, drinking, kept throwing up, kept drinking more, kept throwing up more and then kept drinking.

  • And what was really weird to me is that nobody cared, like the first girl that got drunk and started throwing up...

  • Nobody like...they, like just held her hair back and just were like, she was throwing up everywhere and nobody was, like phased.

  • And it was so weird, I just was like, "What?" like this is normal.

  • That's normal for you guys.

  • Just watching my friends become completely not who they were, watching their personalities, just like crumple up and like, fall.

  • There was this girl there.

  • She had, um, two cigarettes in her hands, and she put both of them, both of them in her mouth, and she went like this, "Hey, Billy."

  • She looked at me. She went...and she blew the smoke into my face.

  • We wanted it to sort of sound like what it feels like, to be in second-hand smoke.

  • I was thinking, you know, what is smoke look like?

  • How can we make it sound the way that smoke looks in the way that smoke feels in your lungs and what your lungs look like when they're smoke in your lungs and...

  • The thing is that if you listen to the song, you feel uncomfortable.

  • - And I... the sort of idea from that was... - Is we dirtied up with the flaws.

  • We distorted the vocal.

  • We distorted the vocal.

  • We made the bass like insane. And it just if you listen to the verses of "xanny", that's more like a white silk huge curtain that's just like flowing around.

  • - It feels uncomfortable is the perfect words... - Sounds like a headache.

  • It feels like a headache.

  • It feels like...

  • - The verses are like what smoke looks like, and the choruses are like what it feels like. - In your lungs is yeah.

  • I feel like when I've been with a friend who's drunk, I'm alone, like they're not there anymore.

  • Drugs and you know, cigarettes are, "Are you killing yourself?"

  • You're slowly killing yourself with them.

  • I can't afford to love someone who isn't dying by mistake.

  • Loving someone, giving your all to someone, it's draining, even if it's out of... even if it's a good thing.

  • Even if you're in love with someone, and there are in love with you, it takes a lot out of you.

  • I don't want to love someone who I'm gonna lose, because they're killing themselves.

  • Like right after that, I did the last vocal of the song, the last verse, and...

  • A friend of mine had, like, passed, like, two days before, and so I was like, "Really?"

  • It really, like, hard.

  • - And that's why was really hard to record that song, because I was really.... - Cut out about it. - Um, yeah, I was really emotional about it.

  • And there was a lot of takes where I'd just stop because I couldn't do it.

  • I couldn't...hard to sing when you're crying...hard.

  • - And so when you listen to the last verse of that song and it sounds super broken it was just the rawest, I think form of that time... - I remember she went...

  • And I've never heard that in a song before.

Like December of 2017, my brother and his girlfriend at the time they were both asleep in this bed.

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B1 smoke throwing drunk drinking killing verse

A Snippet into Billie's Mind - xanny

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    林宜悉 posted on 2022/09/29
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