News that two people who had a harrowing break-up are now trying to get back together again a few months or years down the line tends, among sensible people, to raise at the very least suspicion, if not outright irritation and despair. Why are these two cursed lovers heading back to the old chaos and drama? Isn't this just a fantasy sprung from naivety, loneliness and most probably short-term lust? Shouldn't they keep faith with their original choice, double down on the highs and lows of dating and perhaps each buy a dog? And yet, to deny ex-couples any legitimate chance to revisit their situation also feels excessively punitive and in its way naïve, insisting blindly that people can never change, that psychotherapy and introspection, books and conversations, time and long walks have nothing whatsoever to teach us, is as foolish as to assume that change can come readily and lightly. For every misguided attempt to resume a relationship, there must be a proportion of equally misguided refusals to countenance a new start, born not out of wisdom so much as pre-emptive fear and disbelief that people are, occasionally, able to learn a new thing or two. We need to make progress a tool with which to strip the matter of sentiment and rationally distinguish mature from sentimental plans. What follows is a sequence of questions, amounting to a kind of examination, that exes who are meeting up again after a long break should discuss with one another – and as importantly, with themselves – before coming anywhere near to holding hands, let alone – and here we must be very definitive – going to bed.

introspection.

and there are some alternatives to proper introspection.

Diving right in, the framework I learned is called DIG: Description, Introspection, and Goal Setting.

Like introverts, lone wolves are prone to introspection and self-reflection.

Now, self-care for me, it's always involved planning and introspection.

And authenticity then becomes the core principle of the family life: authenticity, worth, self-orientation, inner introspection, inner reflection.

It took their team a lot of introspection to arrive at the emotional truth that is the core of their story.

They just ate, slept, and groomed, wrapped in narcissistic introspection.

There's all kinds of fears that are going to come up in this process of introspection.