None of your barnyard friends can hear you underground.

You're going to tell us everything.

no matter how long it takes.

(a hint of a chuckle)

where to begin?

Long ago, the entire universe was smaller than the head of a pin...

Your comedy needs much work!

My interrogator has a side gig doing stand-up.

He can coach you in between beatings!

[distant yodel]

[explosion of feathers, door impact and tumbling guard]

We're doin a rescue! CHICKEN TIME!!

You fool!

That's not a chicken ninja!

It's a chicken accountant!

Am I doing everybody's taxes here?

Because I have a 2'o'clock and I can NOT be late.

It appears you are not fit to be a teacher.

Takeo-san, could you re-do it? Can you make him a ninja?

I can not.

Once you create a chicken accountant

he remains that way until the next fiscal year.

[knuckles cracking, swelling of ominous music]

I'm sorry, Takeo-san...

I failed you.

Failure is only a part of training.

I...kinda feel like this might all be my fault

sooo I'm not gonna bill you.

[chair squeak]

we're done for...down here there's no bird or beast that could save us

This is planet Earth.

You can't escape life, even in the bleakest dungeon.

Now be quiet and listen.

[Takeo hums a lilting melody]

[a rat squeaks from behind the walls]

[Takeo's hum beckons the rat]

[the rat squeaks closer]

[sung] When you're far away from home

Just hum this melody

You'll know you're not alone

You'll seeeeeeeee

A tiny hairy friend

Will help you on your way

They've come to save us

Noble, magic rats

The smallest are the bravest

They always have your back

What's that noise?

What's that??

Kill them!

IT'S WHOOP-ASS TIME

GET IN LINE

IT'S WHOOP-ASS TIIIIIIME

[ancient yodel of justice and comeuppance]

IT'S WHOOP-ASS TIME

When you think you're by yourself

Just know they're all around

Always there to help

When you're down

And even when you sleep

They watch over you

From within 20 feet

It's true

They've come to save us

Noble, magic rats

The smallest are the bravest

They always have your back

IT'S WHOOP-ASS TAHHHHHHHHHH-IME

GET IN LAHHHH-INE

IT'S WHOOP-ASS TAHHHHH-IME

[ancient yodel of peace, justice, and wisdom]

It's whoop-ass time

Some people don't like rats

Because they hang out in trash

But they're helping you with your pizza crust

So you should fucking relax

Congratulations, I suppose.

You have assaulted my employees

and finally cornered me, an innocent businessman

Everyone will think your accusations are the raving of a madman.

If speaking truth makes me mad

then being mad makes me happy.

SHUT UP!

You're the fanatic who carries chickens everywhere!

Look! Takeo-san!

Great news!

I cross-referenced the ledgers with the returns

Turns out his business has been evading taxes for six years

Not a great idea to write off $50,000 in Billy Joel tickets

I guess chicken accountants...AREN'T at the bottom of the pecking order

[laughing that sounds like a chicken-human hybrid, a veritable wonder of nature and magic]

Fucking chickens, man!

IT'S WHOOP-ASS TAHHHHHHH-IME

GET IN LINE

IT'S WHOOP-ASS TAHH-IME

[ancient yodel of justice, balance, and goodness]

It's whoop-ass time