(Growling)

- Dude.

- What am I?

- [Narrator] We're going to look at some of your films,

and we're goin to see what critics said about them.

And then you try and guess which film it is.

- "Given the fun it has drinking its own bong water,

it's a bit much to describe the film

as a great critique of institutionalized sexism."

79%, and I'm amazed it was only 79%.

This was a very good film.

I'll act it out. - [Matthew] Will you act

it out please?

(growling)

- [Matthew] Dude.

- What am I?

- You're a feline.

You're a lion. - I'm the Wolf

of bloody Wall Street.

- Oh, that was a wolf?

- All right, you do a wolf. - You could have howled.

- Oh yes, I should have howled.

- You got me with the cat, the claws had me.

Okay.

(whistling)

Yeah.

"I don't want to review blank.

I want to live in it,

and invite you to live in it with me."

- Oh.

- This movie has a very high number of Certified Freshness.

- Is it a place?

- No.

- Oh, well then I have no idea.

- Paddington 2.

- Oh, yeah yeah.

Well, that kind of is a place, too.

(laughs)

(playful music)

- "Loved Matthew McConaughey,

though I'm not convinced he knew

the cameras were rolling."

(laughs)

Easy.

- That's a great review,

no matter what film I say.

Surfer Dude. - 80% Certified Fresh.

- Oh, 80% Certified?

- Yeah, yeah. - So, not Surfer Dude.

- M&M.

- Give me another hint.

- Yes. - Magic Mike!

- Yeah, that's right.

- I knew the cameras - It was my favorite film.

- I knew the cameras were rolling on that one.

There's a couple others I didn't though.

You tease.

You seduce.

"A bad love life, and even worse underwear,

has never looked so good."

- Oh, Bridget.

- Yeah.

81% Certified Fresh.

- Is that all?

Oh, fuck.

Fuck me, that hurt.

"Like the mustache sported

by Matthew McConaughey's character,

this movie is sleazy, amusing,

and quite, quite awesome."

91% Certified Fresh.

I'm going to act the title.

- Please.

- Very good acting.

(laughs)

I'll do it again.

- Yes, please.

- I don't understand. - Dazed and Confused.

- Yes, yes.

- Dang, I wouldn't have gotten that without your acting.

- Okay.

- It'd be a lot cooler if you did.

- "Let us praise, brothers and sisters,

the era of the McConaisance."

You were awfully good.

93% Fresh.

- Oh, 93.

I don't have many that high.

- You looked, in the film,

rather like the award you won for it.

- Magic Mike.

- No, Dallas Buyers Club, you moron.

(laughs)

- Oh, I though Oscar.

Oscar.

(laughs)

You got me when you said you looked like

what you won. - Well, it was so skinny.

- Oscar?

I thought he was kind of,

Oscar was really in shape.

(mumbling)

- All right, all right.

Just skip it. - Okay.

All right.

"I walked into the theater exhausted and pissed off,

and I left grinning like an imbecile."

64% Fresh.

- Only 64?

- Only 64.

One of your lowest numbers, Mister Hugh.

- Yeah.

Act it.

Is that Love?

Love Actually.

- Without a word.

- Really good.

- Didn't even have to say a word.

- Really good.

- Talk about Michael Caine and Michael Caine.

- Hi.

Pathetic.

- "McConaughey's facial hair is his best acting prop.

It seems to exist only to trap spittle

after eating roasted meat."

Oh, man.

(laughs)

I'm afraid only 42%.

- This is Free State of Jones.

- No, Reign of Fire.

- "So refreshingly incisive

is Grant

that for the first time,

he'll probably appeal more

to guys than to their girlfriends

who drag them to this movie

for the Hugh factor."

- Yeah, that can only be one film.

Is that About a Boy?

- That is About a Boy.

- Yeah. - I really tried to get that,

but you got that one from me.

I tried to get that movie.

- We're getting better at guessing.

- 93% Certified Fresh, sir.

- It was a very good film.

We had almost identical careers, in some way.

- Did you notice that?

King of rom-coms, for how long?

How many films? - Well, I don't know.

Yeah, too long.

- Quite a few. - Too long.

Then thank God you - Then I took the baton.

(laughs)

- Thank the lord.

"The most brilliant editing of the year,

revs you up as it interlaces the apex of love stories,

and then explodes into a giant orgasm

of emotional and physical movie making

only to roll over, light a cigarette,

and stop paying attention to you."

- (laughs) That's quite the compliment.

That had to have high - It is.

And I'm very surprised.

It's 72%, it's fresh.

But I would've thought it'd be much higher.

This is a very good film.

- Can you give me a little acting hint?

- Very difficult to do.

- Interstellar. - Yes.

- I would've thought that'd been much higher, too.

- Yeah.

- But you know what that movie is for me?

More people now come to me,

a couple years after this film,

and are biblically attracted to that film.

Like, "I've seen it six times.

It's my favorite film ever."

You know you have some that,

right away, when they come opening weekend.

- Yeah, some are slow burners. - Other ones it's years later.

- Yeah. - Yeah.

- [Off Screen Male] Why are you whispering?

They can't hear you.

- "This is the kind of movie where the big scene

is a man shot out of a cannon

into a vat of ice cream."

- Oh yes.

It's going to have a low score, isn't it?

- Yes, when you compare it to the rest of yours.

- I think it had a really low score.

- 42%, sir.

- Oh, not so bad.

- You thought I'd be like 24?

- Well, now I don't know what it is.

Oh, I do know what it is.

- It's Two Weeks Notice.

- Two Weeks Notice.

- With Bullock. - Yes.

- Who we both know.

- We both know Miss Sandra, yes.

- Congratulations on the baby.

- What baby?

- "This is a Close Encounters of the Third Kind

for the X-Files generation."

- True Detective.

- No, 63% Fresh.

- I just said Interstellar.

Close Encounters of the Third Kind for

Shockingly good.

(laughs)

Nippy.

Touchy.

Oh.

(whooshing)

- What did I just do?

- You just touched me.

- I made, I made - Magic, magic.

Magic, magic, I already said Magic Mike.

Come on, stick with it.

- Con.

- Con, con, con.

(laughs)

- Contact, you moron.

- Contact!

- Yeah.

- What?

- What are you writing?

- The usual.

Nouns, adverbs, adjective here and there.

- All right, we're done. - That's it.

There you go.

Wow.

(upbeat music)