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  • I I'm J.

  • Marco.

  • I'm a former Army brat and a current military spouse.

  • And today I wanted to talk to you about the 10 things that you need to know as a military wife, girlfriend or future wife or girlfriend of a service member.

  • So the 1st 1 is This is not the movies.

  • Your life is not going to be based off of the Hurt locker, saving Private Ryan, Army wives or any of those things.

  • Usually, military lifestyle is a little bit less dramatic, and sometimes it isn't.

  • But don't let those shows scare you.

  • A lot of those are drama shows, and so they are going to show drama and a lot of maybe traumatizing things.

  • So just remember, this is not going to be like the movies.

  • The second thing that you'll need to know is that there are support.

  • Service is for military spouses, but not girlfriends or boyfriends.

  • And they are very, very strict on this for a variety of different reasons.

  • I have heard many, many stories, so they do try to avoid those things happening.

  • So if you are a spouse or potentially going to be a spouse one day, there are different areas of support.

  • There is the family Readiness Office.

  • There could be support for your career finding a job, resume building, job interview skills and also money for education.

  • So, Micah, Micah scholarship and all put information on that scholarship below because I am shocked all the time of how many military spouses do not know about that resource.

  • So I do wanna link that bolo for you, but that is something that you do need to know.

  • There are support.

  • Service is for you and what you go through, you're not alone.

  • If you've experienced it, I'm sure another military spouse has experienced it.

  • And the military, All the branches have been getting better and improving their support services for the family of their service members.

  • Although not yet perfect, There are definitely things you can take advantage of.

  • So please, please d'oh the third.

  • If you ask any military styles, unfortunately you are going to hear this.

  • But you are going to experience loneliness.

  • So that is something that you need to be ready for as a spouse or a significant other.

  • They might be deployed.

  • They might be working some weird hours, sometimes throughout the year or if, unfortunately, there are threats to our security, their work hours might shoot straight up, and those things can be kind of a recipe for making you feel lonely.

  • So it is very, very important that you develop your own self identity or keep yourself identity.

  • It is so easy to get wrapped around your spouse's career and for many good reasons there's focus on that career.

  • But it is very important that you still maintain your hobbies, your friends, your personality and your goals in life.

  • A swell because that is only gonna make that loneliness a bad thing versus an opportunity to work on those things that you might not have been investing a lot of time in before the 4th 1 is that you will move, um, or be told that you need to move.

  • PCs is very common, and it will be happening in your relationship with your service member.

  • So if you are a spouse, you will obviously be relocating with them and the military and will pay.

  • It'll be on their dollar, but if you are a boyfriend girlfriend, that's not gonna happen.

  • You will need to move yourself, and it's also important to remember if you are just starting out a relationship with a service member and you think that I might be a serious one day and you might marry them, remember that they are going to be stationed somewhere else eventually.

  • So you are going to have to leave the place that you are living.

  • And for some of you, that may be very difficult, because that is where you have grown up.

  • You're born and raised there.

  • Your whole family is there, and you need to understand that you will be leaving your family at some point.

  • And is that something you're okay with?

  • Is that something you're goingto work with?

  • Maybe the service member.

  • Their plan is only to stay in for six years.

  • And you're like, Okay, we'll be separated from my family for three and we'll come back and that's okay.

  • Or maybe their plan is to make a career out of this for the next 2025 years.

  • Definitely keep that in mind.

  • It's super easy to get bachelor with somebody and fall so hard in love with someone that you don't think about the things that you might have to sacrifice.

  • So number of five.

  • I feel like I am a w.

  • Downer.

  • I promise there are so many positives to marrying into this lifestyle.

  • You and your significant other or spouse are going to go through some unique challenges that your friends or maybe your family won't really understand.

  • Um, the lifestyle can be very different.

  • A lot of it's the same.

  • It's not like a totally different world, and you're not gonna know what to do.

  • A lot of it is the same struggles you'd be going through in a civilian world and in that type of relationship.

  • But just know that those unique things are gonna bring you closer together.

  • And for some, it might break them apart.

  • Or many of my friends who have found someone and they happen to be in the military.

  • They found that those challenges really brought them together and really solidified their level of commitment from an early stage of their relationship, and it really showed where the two individuals stood.

  • The six thing you need to know is an easy one, but you will need to know your spouse's social security number by heart front, words backwards sideways, and you marry them because now you are linked to your spouse in the military.

  • So when you go to the doctor, when you are trying to find housing for your family when you're moving, ah, lot of different things they're gonna ask, not your Social Security number, but your sponsor or your spouse is Social Security number.

  • So it is very important the moment you marry that person and sign on there that you guys are married, that's all.

  • Security number needs to be memorized The seven thing that you will need to know is basic information about that branch.

  • So let's say your significant other is in the Army.

  • You really need to learn basic rank information.

  • So what is anyone?

  • What is their title called What is an 01?

  • What is the difference between a officer and enlisted?

  • Those things are really gonna help you and allow you to go into different situations, and you're going to a military ball.

  • I know what's going on.

  • Different etiquette.

  • Things like that, and those things aren't necessarily a necessity.

  • But I will tell you they will help you.

  • So, so much so as a girlfriend, boyfriend, wife definitely read up a little bit Wikipedia.

  • It it'll be very, very helpful.

  • And the other thing that you will need to learn and take a crash course on is Tarai care.

  • So try hair, if you haven't heard about it before, is basically the health care program or insurance.

  • I guess it's a form of health insurance that the military uses on and from my knowledge, that's the only one.

  • But I could be wrong.

  • I don't know every single branch in and what they dio.

  • But Tricare does have its pros, which is a lot of pros.

  • I mean, free health care is a great for you and your family when you are eventually married.

  • But it's something you need to learn how to navigate.

  • And you can talk to you any family member, spouse or service member about Tricare.

  • And they will tell you, you know, one time I was stuck with $1000 bill because I didn't do something right in the regulations that striker has.

  • So just make sure you go on their website.

  • I can link the one below and just take a little crash course on their understand how it works.

  • For example, making sure you understand the referral system.

  • You can't just go to certain specialists on your own.

  • Within Tricare, you have to be referred from like a primary doctor.

  • So, for example, when I was a teenager, I wanted to go to a dermatologist.

  • I had to go to a primary doctor who does family medicine and tell them my problem.

  • And then they had to write me a note saying, This person needs to go to a dermatologist.

  • So that way tri care would cover.

  • If my mom would have just taken me straight to the dermatologist, we probably wouldn't have gotten it covered, and we would have got a bill in the mail.

  • And don't be afraid to call Tricare.

  • There's a number on there.

  • If you are unsure about a policy, that's what that number is.

  • Four.

  • So please call them.

  • Don't be shy.

  • Don't feel dumb because it could be a little difficult to navigate.

  • So try care, and how it functions is something you 100% need to know.

  • The other thing that you will need to know is that your Children or future Children are going to have potentially a completely different experience than you had in your childhood, so you might be faced with some totally different scenarios and unique challenges that your Children will be going through.

  • So this is something that we can definitely make a lot of people uncomfortable because they grew up in the civilian world.

  • They lived in the same place.

  • They've known the same people.

  • They always had their parents.

  • They're never been separated things like that.

  • And so that's where there's something you need to understand and feel comfortable with.

  • It's not a bad thing, but you will have a different childhood experience than your child will have.

  • And the final thing that you need to know is that if you have kids in the military, they will be okay.

  • If you have not grown up in this lifestyle, I completely understand why you would be nervous in having kids in this lifestyle.

  • But your kids will be okay.

  • There are so many more pros than cons when it comes Thio growing up in the military and I actually made a video a little while ago doing the pros and cons of raising military Children being a military child, and I will link that bolo or put it in the cards or whatever it may be.

  • So definitely check that one out and let me know your thoughts on that as well.

  • Going through this list.

  • I don't want to talk you in or talk you out of being a military spouse.

  • I just really wanted to go through the things that you need to know if you are going to be joining in that lifestyle.

  • And there are a lot of pros to that.

  • But there are gonna be a lot of concept maybe you're not comfortable with.

  • If you liked or disliked this video, please let me know.

  • It really supports my channel.

  • Also, make sure to leave a comment below on any questions that you will have.

  • And I will definitely get back to you on that or even make a whole new video addressing your concerns or your question.

I I'm J.

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