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  • Flirting is really important because

  • it's about expressing your interest in someone you like

  • in a non-threatening and fun way

  • and it's easy to think that flirting is how you interact with someone in a conversation;

  • but it really starts from the very first impression that you make on the other person.

  • The trouble is that for a lot of people, flirting isn't something that comes naturally.

  • If I go to a bar and see a person I really like, and wanna introduce myself to them,

  • my brain says "alright,

  • good handshake, remember their name, remember your name, pick two."

  • Then, when things go south and I get out from the barstool to leave

  • and hit my erection on the countertop, I get a little bit demotivated,

  • but really it's important to keep in mind that:

  • No-one can be a smooth operator from the get go,

  • it definitely takes some practice.

  • So assuming you do manage to get through your introduction,

  • it's a good idea to establish some kind of physical rapport.

  • And a good way to do this is to touch the other person on the elbow

  • when you say something they find clever or funny.

  • In other words, you don't need to worry about it.

  • Now, it's pretty easy to think

  • "Hmm, I really like this girl, but I don't know what I should do..."

  • And a really good idea is to practice your empathy

  • by imagining you're the girl, and thinking about what you would like a guy to say to "you",

  • even when you're talking about something like sex,

  • one thing I've heard a lot from girls is

  • "Yeah, this guy was great, but he just finished and then fell asleep, and didn't even think about how I felt."

  • So, the lesson I've learned there is if you wanna be better at pleasing a woman,

  • you really need to think about what it's like to be fucked by a dude.

  • What's good about this is that because it's a thought experiment, you can do it whenever you have a free moment.

  • Whether you're on the bus, or at the gym,

  • or just bent over the kitchen counter.

  • So, a big part of flirting is teasing.

  • And this is essentially making small playful jabs at the other person

  • to get a positive reaction, and elevate the mood.

  • Imagine a girl said to me:

  • "So, your last video had a good amount of views. Still staying up all night refreshing the page?"

  • That would not be very good teasing because I'd be really worried about how she found out.

  • But if she said,

  • "Damn, have you been working out? You're really starting to fill up that extra small shirt."

  • That'd be good teasing, because it has been my goal for a while.

  • Now, the way that guys and girls express their interest is very different,

  • and generally the way that most girls will flirt with a guy

  • is by laughing a lot and touching them on the arm.

  • But, this is also how a lot of girls act platonically friendly,

  • and there's not really anyway to know which it is

  • until she tells you three years later when she already has a boyfriend.

  • On the flip side,

  • guys tend to flirt with a lot less nuance

  • and generally prefer to set up a situation where they either get a definite yes or no.

  • There's a few ways you can do this,

  • Uhm, you can explicitly ask them on a date,

  • go for a kiss, straight up ask them how they feel about you or just send a dick pic.

  • Different guys have different styles, so, do what feels right for you.

  • Uhm, I like to send them at breakfast,

  • that way, they have the whole day to respond.

  • Usually go for natural window lighting,

  • and use the macro setting, obviously.

  • All in all, I think everyone should put in an effort to improve their ability

  • to communicate honestly with someone they're interested in.

  • If anything, its worth making the effort.

  • So if you do meet that perfect person for you,

  • you don't miss a golden opportunity, because of a lack of confidence.

  • Just remember, I like to always think even if I screw up and a date goes poorly,

  • I can always go home that night and practice my empathy.

Flirting is really important because

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A2 US flirting teasing uhm flirt empathy practice

Casually Explained: Flirting

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    Annie Huang posted on 2020/02/24
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