B1 Intermediate US 40 Folder Collection
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This weekend was a big one for President Trump.
And not just because
the chef at Mar-a-Lago made boob-shaped burgers, no.
It was big because Republican senators stopped witnesses
from testifying at Trump's impeachment trial.
And it wasn't for the reason that you might think.
This weekend, more Senate Republicans admitted
that president's actions were wrong and bad,
but they insist not impeachable.
I agree he did something inappropriate,
but I don't agree he did anything akin to treason,
bribery, high crimes and misdemeanor.
Well, I mean,
if you have eight witnesses who say
someone left the scene of an accident, why do you need nine?
I mean, the question for me was, "Do I need more evidence
to conclude that the president did what he did?"
And I concluded "no."
That has to be one of the most gangster arguments
I've ever heard a senator give.
"No more witnesses
because I already know what Trump did, okay?"
Yeah, that would be like if a cop pulled you over and asked,
"Sir, do you know how fast you were going?"
You're like, (slurring): "Yeah, I have a speedometer."
-(laughter) -"Now, are we done here?
'Cause I got to get the party before this buzz wears off."
(laughter)
But yes, after months... after months of claiming Trump
did nothing wrong, many key Republicans
have now settled on: Look, man, it was bad,
but not kick-the-guy-out bad.
Yeah. Republicans basically treat Trump
like white people treat their dogs. You know?
Sure, it tore up all the furniture,
pooped on the floor and bit the neighbor's kid, but...
(baby talk): who can stay mad at that face?
-(laughter) -Who can stay mad at that face?
He just wanted a quid pro quo. He wants a quid pro quo.
Who wants a quid pro quo?
-(cheering, applause) -You want a quid pro quo.
So... so without witnesses, the trial is scheduled to wrap up
on Wednesday, and this will probably be
the end of the impeachment trial of Donald Jazeera Trump.
And with impeachment no longer weighing him down,
Trump had the opportunity to spend time with his loved ones.
Specifically Sean Hannity,
Fox News host and guy who definitely names his guns.
Well, on Sunday, Hannity sat down with Trump
for an exclusive pre-Super Bowl interview,
where he asked the president all of the hard-hitting questions.
I love sports. I think sports mirror life.
You know, stripped down, you learn to win,
sometimes you don't always win.
What do you love about sports?
Well, it is,
it's sort of a little bit of a microcosm of life.
You know, you have winners. You have champions.
You have people that you expect to see that final play.
You have great coaches, like Belichick.
Uh, you have people that you expect... more out of,
and oftentimes they produce.
Then you have people that you just don't expect
they're gonna do it...
and oftentimes they don't.
It's a microcosm of life.
(laughter)
There are people you don't expect things from,
-and then they don't deliver. -(laughter)
And also, did-did Trump just rephrase
what Hannity said to him
and make it sound like it was his own idea?
'Cause Hannity goes, "I think sports mirrors life,"
and Trump is like, "Actually, for me,
-"I think sports mirrors life. -(laughter)
But hey, that's just my opinion. I don't know."
I will say, though, I was impressed that Trump
used the word "microcosm," yeah.
And correctly, too.
Yeah, because if he ever used that word,
I would have expected something more like,
"The Playboy Mansion, 1986,
"I had the most intense microcosm of my life.
(laughter)
"So good.
-(cheering, applause) -So strong."
But... but Trump didn't spend the whole conversation
sharing his deep, meaningful thoughts about sports.
No, he also shared his quick, shallow thoughts
about the Democratic candidates.
-A lightning round here. -All right.
Um, I'm just gonna throw out a name.
-Whatever comes to your mind. -Okay.
We'll start with Joe Biden.
I just think of sleepy.
I-I just watch him. He's sleepy, Sleepy Joe.
-Bernie Sanders. -Well, I think he's a communist.
I mean, you know, look,
I think of communism when I think of Bernie.
Now, you could say socialist, but...
didn't he get married in Moscow?
-Michael Bloomberg. -Uh, very little.
I just think of little. You know, now he wants a box
for the debates, to stand on.
Okay, it's okay. There's nothing wrong.
You can be short.
Why should he get a box to stand on, okay?
He wants a box for the debates.
-(laughter) -He wants a box?
I know you might be wondering: What is Trump talking about?
-The answer is: No one knows. -(laughter)
Is it true? Did Trump make this up?
Did somebody put magic mushrooms on Trump's boob-burger?
We don't know. He could have imagined all of this
while he was tripping.
One thing is for sure:
Trump has put Bloomberg in an awkward situation.
This is the genius of Donald Trump.
I don't care what anyone says.
Because some candidates do use boxes.
But now, if Bloomberg asks for a box,
it's gonna be a huge deal.
So he's gonna have to figure out another solution at the debate.
Like, maybe Bloomberg can convince the DNC
to give the debates a '70s theme
so he can show up in his platforms.
-(laughter) -Maybe that would work.
Now, Bloomberg could have chosen to respond in a number of ways.
He could have stayed with the height theme and said,
"Screw the box. I'm gonna stand on my bank statements
that show how much richer I am than you."
But instead, instead, the Bloomberg campaign
tried to hit Trump where it hurts.
NEWSMAN: Bloomberg's campaign firing back,
calling the president...
(shouting, cheering, applause)
His fake hair, his obesity,
and his spray-on tan.
Goddamn, what a low blow!
Although, for Michael Bloomberg, every blow is a low blow, but...
-(groaning) -You know? Yeah, when he drops the mike,
it doesn't fall that far. It's crazy, though.
that this is what politics looks like right now.
Although, you have to admit, it'll make history class
a lot less boring down the road.
All right? Teachers in the future will be like,
"And then in the year 2020, the president called Bloomberg
"a 'tiny little-box elf.'
"Then Bloomberg responded, 'Oh, yeah?'
"'Nice to pay you, fat (bleep).'
And yes, that's gonna be on the quiz this Friday, everybody."
(laughter)
But... wherever Trump's Bloomberg story came from,
it shows you how good Trump is at playing the media.
Because now, a story that Trump completely made up
has gotten so big, it's all the news wants to talk about.
We have looked into this so-called Box-gate situation,
and we have not been able to find any proof
that Michael Bloomberg wants a box.
He also suggested some sort of conspiracy theory
that Bloomberg was working with the DNC
to be able to stand on a box during the debate.
We have no evidence that that is true.
I don't mean to get in the weeds on this, Kevin.
Did he ask for a box or not? Is that true or not?
He... he did not ask for a box.
Despite Trump's claim, there is no evidence
that Bloomberg is asking to stand on a box.
And there's nothing wrong with standing on boxes.
Man, you know...
you know what, sometimes-- I'll be honest with you--
I feel like sometimes the news in America is so full of shit.
Right? No, because they make it sound like they're upset
about what Trump said, and that they're "fact-checking" it."
But all they really want to do is repeat his insults all day.
Yeah. 'Cause it's great for ratings. It really is.
I mean, boxes? You know what they remind me of,
they remind me of that kid in school
that acted like your friend while being a jerk to you.
You know, the kid would come up, be like, "Hey, I heard Brian say
"that your mama's so dumb she needs a lifeguard
"when she takes a bath.
"But that's not true, right? He's so mean. Brian's mean.
I would never say that. I didn't repeat it to everybody else."
And here's why this is so disappointing for me.
After the 2016 election, cable news in particular
said they realize they made a mistake
by amplifying everything Trump said.
They said that. Right?
Which only helped him. We know that it helped him.
And so they said, "We won't do it again."
But now the election is around the corner,
and they can't resist that sweet Trump juice.
Back at it. "Oh, is Bloomberg too short to stand...
Debate..." (muttering)
And one thing is for sure. When Trump says shit like this,
it creates yet another distraction
from what really matters,
like the fact that people in his own party
are admitting that they think Trump is guilty
whilst also making sure that his trial is so short,
not even a box will help it.
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Impeachment Nears Its End, Trump and Hannity Hang & Bloomberg Fights Boxgate | The Daily Show

40 Folder Collection
yupsame published on February 12, 2020
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