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  • Oh, gross!

  • You guys realize Valentine's Day is just a commercial holiday?

  • It means nothing!

  • Have you guys even heard of the St. Valentine's Day Massacre?

  • It's not a fun holiday!

  • Oh, please, with this naaahhhh! You guys are just showing your love through hollow capitalism.

  • How was no one else seeing this?

  • Dude, chill out.

  • It's obvious you're just cynical because you're completely alone.

  • Oh, oh. Well joke's on you, buddy 'cause no one loves me every day.

  • Boom!

  • Every Valentine's Day ever.

  • Can I help you find something?

  • Um, I'm kind of in a weird situation.

  • You see, I've only been dating this girl for like a week, so it's not really that serious.

  • Do you have anything that doesn't say "I love you" on it? 'Cause we're not we're not there yet.

  • Oh, of course. We have the perfect selection for that.

  • How about a regular teddy bear?

  • Yeah, that's perfect. There's no declarations of love. Yeah, that's perfect. Thanks.

  • Go get her, tiger.

  • Shoo.

  • Okay.

  • Oh!

  • Um, I know like we've only gone a couple dates.

  • But I figured you know it's tradition and everything so I got you a little Valentine's Day present.

  • Aw...

  • I love you.

  • Oh...

  • Didn't know that it talked... awkward.

  • And if you didn't love me, too, I'd kill myself.

  • And then kill you.

  • Every Valentine's Day Ever.

  • Babe? Where are you?

  • Follow the trail!

  • What's all this?!

  • Well, you know, I thought I'd pick up a couple roses pick apart their decaying carcasses and spread them around the house in hopes that you would sleep with me.

  • Well, I don't know why I'm interpreting these actions as a romantic gesture instead of something a complete psychopath would do, but I gotta admit I'm pretty horny right now.

  • Cool!

  • I love that your head is spaghetti and I get to eat it.

  • Happy Valentine's Day.

  • - It's August. - Oh.

  • Yo, why are there flowers on the table?

  • Oh, Dad bought them for Mom.

  • Wait a minute.

  • Danny, what day is it?

  • I don't know, Manny, some random weekday in February.

  • Oh my god.

  • IT'S VALENTINE'S DAY!

  • We got to get out of here!

  • Hey, no leaving the house past sundown.

  • She's talking to us while she's doing it!

  • Why couldn't they just wait till we were asleep!?

  • Who bought me flowers?

  • I did, for myself.

  • The way I would kill myself is with a knife.

  • And the way I'd kill you is with the same knife.

  • Okay, maybe if you just press them again, it'll say something not so crazy.

  • The blood from my body would then mix with the blood from your body, which would bind our souls for eternity.

  • Son of a bitch.

  • - Let's touch butts! -Yeah!

  • Tonight was so perfect.

  • Delicious and expensive thick hearty steaks.

  • More than enough red wine.

  • And then a whole box of those heart-shaped chocolates filled with I don't even know

  • And now we can engage an entire night of rigorous and passionate lovemaking.

  • Mmm-hmm.

  • - You still want to? - Uh-huh. - Right. - Yeah, yeah. - Okay.

  • - Cool. You? - Oh, yeah. I'm so excited.

  • You're not too full?

  • No, I feel fine.

  • I'm just gonna turn off this light and we're gonna...

  • Happy Valentine's Day.

  • Yeah, we're good singers.

  • Happy Valentine's Day. You too. Okay, bye.

  • Oh, must be from my husband Michael.

  • Oh, to Julie.

  • Oh, from my husband Michael probably.

  • Oh! Sarah... okay.

  • This is definitely from my husband Michael.

  • Oh, see? From Michael... to... Julie.

  • Hang on. There's something else from Michael.

  • Divorce papers!?

  • You've been served.

  • Happy Valentine's Day

  • Bee mine.

  • Get it,'cause I'm dressed like a bee?

  • If I found out you didn't love me, and I didn't have a knife nearby, I'd kill myself with two guns.

  • Okay, maybe just stop pressing it.

  • I'd put both of them to my head and pull the triggers at the same time.

  • The bullets would hit each other and fuse together in my brain, just like you and me should fuse together forever.

  • Okay, Jesus. I can return it okay?

  • I love you, Rachel. Do you love me?

  • Say you love me, say you love me, say you love me.

  • I'll kill myself and you if you don't love me. Say you love me.

  • I fu***** love you.

  • Every Valentine's Day Ever.

  • Happy Valentine's Day, Shane.

  • Oh, happy Valentine's Day, Ian.

  • Wow, you know, it'd just be super if everyone went checked out Every First Date ever by clicking the box on the left.

  • Or to watch Every Elevator Ever by clicking the box on the right.

  • Wow, that just sounds amazing.

  • I'm gonna make out with somebody.

  • I'm right here.

  • Oh. Oh my gosh. Oh my goodness. Oh wow.

Oh, gross!

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B1 US valentine day valentine happy valentine love day michael

EVERY VALENTINE'S DAY EVER

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    Estelle posted on 2020/02/13
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