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00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:02,130 Appreciate the energy, and I wish
I could do the same thing for you, because--
you know what?
Imagine tomorrow, whenever you're working into--
your desk, or you're changing a diaper, or whatever you're--
you know, on a pole-- whatever you do, think
of me applauding you, because it makes coming to work fun.
And some people start their day with a cup of coffee.
I like three minutes of applause, personally.
[LAUGHTER]
This is a great job.
I've had a lot of jobs.
I used to sell vacuum cleaners, which, that job sucked.
[LAUGHTER]
That's vacuum cleaner humor.
I love my job.
Some people don't love their job.
Raise your hand if you don't love your job.
[LAUGHTER]
OK.
Well, I'm going to try to guess what you do
to see what you hate about it.
This is what I'm going to do.
I'm going to-- you raised your hand?
Yes.
OK, stand up.
Hi.
Hi.
What's your name?
I'm Celine.
Hi, Celine.
OK.
You hate your job.
I do.
How long have you been doing it?
Two years.
Two y-- wow, that's a long time to do something you hate.
Yeah.
[LAUGHTER]
Did you-- how old are you?
I'm 22.
22.
So you started at 20.
Yes.
Something that you didn't--
you want to do something else.
I would like to do something else, yes.
What would you like to do?
I want to be a doctor.
Oh, wow.
Mm-hmm.
Are you in school?
I just graduated my first degree.
I'm applying for the second.
Oh, good.
Mm-hmm.
So you're just doing this to make money
while you become-- and then you become a doctor.
Yeah, just a stepping stone.
OK.
Let me see your hands.
I don't know what that means.
[LAUGHTER]
Let's see.
Give me a hint.
I ring people through.
You ring people through.
You're a cashier.
I am, yes.
Yeah.
Well, that was a big hint.
Yeah.
I'm sorry.
Basically, you told me you were a cashier.
Oh, I mean--
All right.
At a grocery store, or where?
At a sports store.
At a sports store.
Yeah.
And you hate it?
I do.
Why?
What do you hate about it?
People aren't always so nice, you know?
Yeah.
No, I know.
Yeah, yeah.
People aren't nice sometimes.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You know what I find?
The nicer you are to them, the more that it makes them mad.
[LAUGHTER]
Kill them with kindness, right?
And then they leave feeling bad, and then they're
going to be nice to the next person--
maybe not to you, but someone else.
Yeah, really.
All right.
OK, so here's what I'm going to do for you, because you
hate your--
maybe you need more money for school, right?
I would love that, yeah.
OK.
Well, I'm going to send you on a trip to Vegas,
and you can bet some money there.
Maybe you'll win, and maybe you'll have money, OK?
[CHEERING]
Thank you so much.
00:02:30,463 --> 00:02:31,463 Did you raise your hand?
Yes, I did.
All right.
Hi.
Hi.
What's your name?
Nia.
Hi, Nia.
Nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you, too.
You hate your job.
Yes.
How long have you been doing your job?
Four years.
Four?
Yeah.
Gosh, people stick with things they hate, huh?
Yeah.
All right.
Four years.
That's a long time.
What are your hours?
12-hour shifts.
12 hour shifts?
Mm-hmm.
Give me a hint.
It starts with M.
Starts with M?
Mm-hmm.
OK.
You're a m--
[LAUGHTER]
Man handler.
[LAUGHTER]
Almost.
What do you do?
I'm a manager at a dispensary.
A manager at a dispensary.
Mm-hmm.
What kind of dispensary?
Medical marijuana dispensary.
Oh, wow.
Yes, yes.
And seems like-- why would you hate that?
It seems like everybody--
[LAUGHTER]
I thought it'd be so mellow going in there.
Actually, it's a little more complicated
than a lot of people think, especially when
we're working with complicated people
or working for complicated people.
Yeah, yeah.
It's a pretty easy job, but our boss kind
of nips it in the bud, so--
Oh.
Yeah.
Four years doing that.
What do you want to do?
Actually, I would like to help a lot of people
build homes in Detroit, because I'm from Detroit.
Uh-huh.
And--
Detroit needs some help, huh?
A lot of help.
Yeah.
And I've seen that you also put something in Flint, Michigan
with the water sources and stuff like that.
Yeah, of course.
Absolutely.
Something to that extent-- helping people and building
homes [INAUDIBLE]--
Well, I hope that we can help you.
[APPLAUSE]
Get in touch with us if you want to help her get her job there.
You live in Detroit?
Yes, I do.
OK.
What I'm going to do is--
the least I can do is, when you're home,
I'm going to pay you to watch TV.
I'm going to give you a $1,000 Visa gift
card and a 65-inch TCL Roku TV.
OK?
All right?
[SCREAMS]
[CHEERING]
Thank you.
All right.
Ah!
Ah!
All right.
[CHEERING]
00:04:20,540 --> 00:04:21,528 Thank you!
00:04:24,986 --> 00:04:25,974 You hate your job?
00:04:28,970 --> 00:04:30,022 Stand up.
All of you are losing your jobs tomorrow.
You know that, right?
[LAUGHTER]
Literally, you're all losing your jobs.
You're saying you hate your--
Are you real?
Yeah, no, I'm completely real.
[LAUGHTER]
Sorry.
Now, how long have you been doing the job you hate?
One year.
One year.
Yes.
OK.
What do you want to do?
Own my own business.
What kind of business?
A fashion business.
A fashion business.
Yes.
Like, you want to make clothes?
Sell clothes.
Oh, you want to sell clothes.
Mm-hmm.
You want to have a store and sell clothes.
Yes.
OK.
But right now, you don't do that.
No.
You do what?
Do you want to look at my hands?
Yeah.
Oh, I don't know what you do.
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
I broke a nail.
How dare you.
No, no, no, no.
I--
[LAUGHTER]
I broke a nail.
You can break a nail doing anything.
You could break a nail typing or opening a doorknob.
Or itching.
Yeah.
What do you do?
I'm a waitress at Red Robin.
The one time I don't guess waitressing.
[LAUGHTER]
Darn it.
Uh.
All right.
So now, for you, what I do is I'm going
to send you to relax somewhere.
You're going to get two nights at Terranea Resort.
It is beautiful.
Look out for the jellyfish.
[CHEERING]
And loud kids.
Other than that, have fun.
[INAUDIBLE]
All right.
All right.
Who else hates their job?
You hate your job?
God, all of the sudden, everybody hates their jobs.
When you find out I'm going to send you somewhere,
you're very unhappy all of a sudden.
What's your name?
Rachel.
Hi, Rachel.
Hi.
And, OK.
I'll just guess.
You're a waitress.
No.
No.
What are your hours?
We kind of make up our own hours.
Wow.
You hate that job?
Yeah.
You get a job where you--
It's not with you.
You make up your own hours, and you hate the job.
Yeah.
Do you work from home?
No.
No.
We go to other people's homes.
Oh.
[LAUGHTER]
Do you clean homes?
Yes.
You do?
You got it.
Yeah.
Well, you're going to other people's homes,
and you don't like it.
Although, I think I would like to clean--
I like cleaning.
I'll come to your house any time.
[INAUDIBLE]
[LAUGHTER]
You'll clean my home?
Yes.
OK.
Well, let's talk.
[LAUGHTER]
All right.
Well, then, it looks like you need
to go to two nights in Palm Springs.
That's what you'll do, OK?
Yes, [INAUDIBLE].
All right.
[CHEERING]
Thank you.
All right.
Oh, and some water.
Oh, thanks.
Yeah.
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Ellen Attempts to Guess Audience Members' Jobs

161 Folder Collection
wonderfulguy published on January 10, 2020
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