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  • 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:02,490 I've done this show for 17 seasons.

  • And just like me, each year it just keeps getting hotter.

  • Sometimes, things happen that are too hot for TV.

  • But I show them anyway because you deserve to see the truth.

  • Watch.

  • [CROWD CHEERING]

  • [MUSIC PLAYING]

  • 00:00:18,720 --> 00:00:21,119 Let's see what else you have in here.

  • What's that?

  • Birth control.

  • OK.

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • Yeah.

  • I don't know what that looks like.

  • Name three curse words you say the most.

  • [BLEEP]

  • What's your favorite curse word?

  • [BLEEP] me.

  • Favorite G-rated curse word.

  • Shazam.

  • G-rated curse word, [BLEEP].

  • I once went on a blind date with a guy, an adult man,

  • who had braces.

  • Why is it so bad that someone had--

  • They hurt.

  • They hurt your "pikachu."

  • Everything hurts, OK.

  • What did you say?

  • Pikachu.

  • It's that-- my little special spot.

  • That's what I call it.

  • Last season, you had a product that you were--

  • that we-- we can't talk about on this show,

  • but it's a very popular product.

  • And you got some--

  • Vibrator.

  • You can say, vibrator.

  • I don't think we can.

  • 00:01:19,600 --> 00:01:20,320 I guess we can.

  • Especially--

  • What is your favorite body part on A-Rod?

  • Ooh.

  • Stop.

  • What could you not do without?

  • Stop.

  • I'm going to say--

  • I love his arms.

  • OK.

  • Stop.

  • All right.

  • Well, what's your favorite?

  • I love his penis.

  • I really do.

  • 00:01:47,631 --> 00:01:51,082 [CROWD CHEERING]

  • 00:02:00,000 --> 00:02:02,770 I know you are worried about your outfit,

  • and now I realize why.

  • We just got married at city hall.

  • And then-- I also didn't want to torture my friends

  • and make them be bridesmaids.

  • Yeah.

  • Do you want to spend, like, $150 on this bogus-ass dress that

  • you're--

  • That you'll never wear again.

  • --never gonna wear again, and spend a weekend

  • with a bunch of bitches that you don't know?

  • And then you're celebrating them and they're, like,

  • here's a penis necklace.

  • Here's a penis hat.

  • Let's play pin the penis on the penis.

  • And I'm, like, if I'm about to get married,

  • I don't want to wear a penis candy necklace.

  • I want a real penis that's not the penis I'm going to have

  • forever.

  • You know?

  • I have to say, that's the record number of the times someone

  • has said penis within 60 seconds.

  • That was-- congratulations, you win a 65" TCL Roku TV.

  • Strip culture is really popular right now.

  • And I've noticed that there are a lot of lazy ones

  • that aren't really putting forth a lot of effort.

  • 00:03:10,530 --> 00:03:11,530 Did you see my twerking?

  • Did you see what I did?

  • Let me see it.

  • OK, OK.

  • 00:03:18,530 --> 00:03:19,460 No, no, no.

  • No?

  • How do I do it?

  • 00:03:27,413 --> 00:03:29,330 That'll get you a couple of bucks right there.

  • Yeah?

  • Yeah!

  • Craziest place you've had sex?

  • My [BLEEP].

  • 00:03:41,862 --> 00:03:43,820 'Cause I know you love games, and I love games.

  • Yes.

  • So what they give you the hospital

  • are these breathing things right?

  • And whoever can suck their balls the hardest, wins.

  • OK, ready?

  • You suck, not blow?

  • You-- of course I'd have to teach her.

  • 00:04:02,030 --> 00:04:02,630 Yes, Ellen.

  • 00:04:05,630 --> 00:04:07,780 We'll be back.

00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:02,490 I've done this show for 17 seasons.

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