Placeholder Image

Subtitles section Play video

  • 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:02,280 Have a seat!

  • Have a seat, everybody.

  • Go ahead and catch your breath, tWitch,

  • and there's something that I want to talk about.

  • And I'm sorry.

  • I'm kind of distracted right now.

  • I just--

  • 00:00:48,905 --> 00:00:50,396 Have a seat!

  • 00:00:59,970 --> 00:01:01,438 Hi Brad!

  • Hey Ellen!

  • Well, why are you-- what are you doing?

  • Don't mind me.

  • I just came to see the show.

  • Great show by the way so far.

  • You're killing it.

  • Thank you.

  • Thank you!

  • It's hard to not mind you.

  • You're right there, and I mean, why are you here?

  • I'm just a fan.

  • Had the day off.

  • Wanted to see how the show was going.

  • OK.

  • Well, you're welcome to-- you want to come sit down here?

  • 00:01:38,720 --> 00:01:41,810 No, I'm good.

  • Thanks though!

  • Carry on.

  • OK.

  • This is very strange.

  • So all right.

  • Kids are going back to school, which means it's a perfect time

  • to look at some back to school photos in a cutting edge

  • segment we're calling Back to School Photos.

  • [MUSIC PLAYING]

  • 00:02:11,571 --> 00:02:12,845 All right.

  • Ellen?

  • Yes, Brad?

  • Are you going to do the one with the signs, you know,

  • where they're wrong and then it's really funny?

  • What's wrong with these signs signs?

  • Yeah that one.

  • No, we're not going to do that.

  • You can't-- we prepare for the show, and then we--

  • so this is the segment we're going to do right now.

  • OK.

  • All right.

  • Here we go.

  • A lot of parents take a photo of their child

  • before they go to school for their very first day.

  • It turns out some parents take a photo of their child

  • after the first day of school.

  • I'll show you what I mean.

  • Here's Lucy before school.

  • There she is looking adorable.

  • Here she is after school.

  • 00:03:00,000 --> 00:03:05,869 Yeah, even that unicorn backpack is a--

  • kind of done with.

  • Here's Frankie in the morning.

  • And then here's Frankie after school.

  • Oh, Yeah.

  • He went to school as a kid, came home as a Wall Street

  • banker he said.

  • Here's Sophia before school.

  • 00:03:25,580 --> 00:03:27,802 Look at Sophia after school.

  • All right.

  • She went from J.C. Penny catalog to mug shot right there.

  • 00:03:38,070 --> 00:03:39,880 Yes Brad?

  • Just a quick question.

  • Is the Ellen Shop going to be open after the show?

  • Yes Brad, it's always open after the show.

  • Great!

  • I love the underwear.

  • Buy as many as you like.

  • OK.

  • I hope everyone had a good summer, and I know some of you

  • did because I did some research.

  • And I'm going to share my results with you right now.

  • First, we have this person.

  • Yep.

  • And she says I went to Burning Man,

  • and now I can't remember what I did this summer.

  • 00:04:15,880 --> 00:04:16,890 Then there's this man.

  • 00:04:19,870 --> 00:04:23,170 I celebrated Hot Girl Summer by getting my first Brazilian.

  • 00:04:26,750 --> 00:04:28,330 Yeah.

  • And there's this woman here.

  • This summer-- this summer I prayed that Brad Pitt

  • would be sitting behind me.

  • 00:04:43,390 --> 00:04:45,210 Yeah.

  • And finally there's this guy.

  • This summer I prayed this woman would

  • be sitting in front of me.

  • 00:04:56,890 --> 00:05:04,070 Brad, are you planning on staying the whole show?

  • Isn't everyone?

  • Yeah.

  • Yeah, they are.

  • OK.

  • Great!

  • When we come back, Sean Hayes will be sitting right here.

  • We'll be back.

  • It's good to see you.

  • How was your summer?

  • My summer was great.

  • You know, I took my godson Sammy to Disneyland.

  • I don't know when the--

  • I'm sorry, I'm so distracted because Brad Pitt is

  • in your audience, and it's kind of just like throwing me

  • off my game.

  • I know.

  • Brad, there's a lot of people here,

  • and you're the only one that's distracting.

  • So please try to keep it down.

  • Right, sorry.

  • Sorry Sean.

  • Yeah.

  • Sorry.

  • Oh my gosh, those eyes.

  • I can't be mad at you.

  • All is forgiven.

  • He's cute.

  • He's cute, yeah.

  • But let's talk about you.

  • OK.

  • All right.

  • Well, I just feel like, Ellen, you

  • should really take advantage that Brad Pitt is here.

  • Yeah.

  • You know, he hasn't done the show in eight years,

  • and I've been on this show eight times this week.

  • But I'm being so selfish.

  • I get to sit this close and look into your beautiful blue eyes.

  • I think Brad is all the way up there.

  • He should be this close to this much beauty.

  • So I, Sean Carl Hayes am going to give up my seat next

  • to the world's richest lesbian.

  • 00:06:16,500 --> 00:06:19,650 To the guy from two episodes of "Growing Pains," please,

  • Brad Pitt.

  • 00:06:51,510 --> 00:06:52,010 All right.

  • We're out of time.

  • We have to go to break.

  • We'll be back.

  • Hi, I'm Andy.

  • Ellen asked me to remind you to subscribe to her channel

  • so you can see more awesome videos,

  • like videos of me getting scared or saying embarrassing things

  • like ball peeing hammer.

  • And also some videos of Ellen and other celebrities

  • if you're into that sort of thing.

  • [MUSIC PLAYING]

00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:02,280 Have a seat!

Subtitles and vocabulary

Click the word to look it up Click the word to find further inforamtion about it