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  • [inquisitive music]

  • - Quvenzhané Wallis and Stephen Hawking

  • in the same room discussing me?

  • Guess they must've made up.

  • Focus.

  • There'll be Fergies a-plenty in the Good Place.

  • [tender music]

  • [sighs]

  • - I don't know where we went wrong with Tahani.

  • - I know, she is such a disappointment

  • compared to her sister.

  • - Hello, Father.

  • Hello, Mother.

  • - Oh, hello, Tahani.

  • We were just talking about

  • how you're a huge disappointment

  • compared to your sister.

  • - Have a seat, we'd love to get your take.

  • - How's it going in here?

  • - I'm losing by three.

  • Meditating to calm myself down.

  • I'd be winning by, like, a million

  • if I could play as the Jags

  • instead of playing against the Jags.

  • I hate scoring against my own favorite team.

  • [foreboding music]

  • But you already knew that.

  • Because this is the test!

  • - Yeah, that's not a revelation or something.

  • I explained that very clearly.

  • - It's nice to see you, Tahani.

  • Apparently, wherever you've been,

  • they've been keeping you well-fed.

  • - You know, I've actually risked

  • quite a lot to be in this room right now,

  • so if you could just not be cruel for maybe 30 seconds,

  • that would be lovely.

  • - Apologies,

  • it's been a while since we've seen you.

  • We have so much to tell you about your sister.

  • - We've just heard the most wonderful news.

  • Kamilah dedicated her last album to you.

  • - Really?

  • - Well, she dedicated it to her fans

  • and you're one of her fans.

  • - The whole point of this afterlife test

  • is that everyone in these rooms

  • is supposed to be talking about me.

  • And yet, even in this scenario,

  • you are still talking about Kamilah.

  • Which is exactly the point.

  • I was never going to be enough for you.

  • Never going to earn your respect.

  • You know, I've done things

  • that you would never have approved of.

  • I died,

  • dressed as someone in the service industry,

  • I shagged a Floridian,

  • I even ate a Cheeto.

  • both: [gasp]

  • - That's right. Chewing it was deafening.

  • And it's the happiest I have ever been.

  • - Don't get upset, dear.

  • You barely fit in that dress,

  • and I'm afraid you're going to

  • hulk out, as it were.

  • - Okay.

  • I'm sorry we didn't have a better relationship.

  • And I wish you both the best.

  • [sighs]

[inquisitive music]

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