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  • (upbeat techno music)

  • (whimsical whooshing)

  • - Here, in the trees of South America,

  • you can find the three-toed sloth.

  • - Oh, hey.

  • - Shit, what up?

  • - Yo, not much, man, I'm just hangin'.

  • - Totally. (giggles) - Totally.

  • - Totally.

  • - Mm, sloths aren't that cute.

  • - You kidding me?

  • These dudes are great.

  • Look at that face.

  • - Hey. - Hey.

  • - Yeah, have you seen the video where the sloth--

  • - Give me that. - Hey.

  • - We're not turning this into a YouTube party.

  • - Bummer. - Bummer.

  • - Sloths do almost everything here in the trees.

  • Eat, sleep, mate, even give birth.

  • - (chuckles) Shit, yeah.

  • I've got it all here in mi casa.

  • Place to hang, munchies, Planet Earth in real time.

  • - Sloths are dope.

  • - The only thing missing is (chuckles) a bathroom.

  • (stomach gurgling)

  • - That's cool, I can hold it.

  • - She sure can.

  • Sloths live with nearly constant constipation,

  • only shitting once per week. (stomach gurgles)

  • - Oh, I guess that once is right now.

  • Sorry, guys, I'll be super quick.

  • (stomach gurgles) Oh man, oh man.

  • Fuck, I'm not gonna make it.

  • Oh, this is the big one.

  • Why did I wait so long? (stomach gurgles)

  • Oh, fuck, the closer I get, the more I have to go.

  • Okay, okay, wait, I got it. (groans)

  • Fuck, I'm gonna shit myself, fuck.

  • - And when you eat mostly leaves

  • and only shit once a week, that shit is a real doozy.

  • - Ha, doozy.

  • (groaning in pain)

  • (triumphant music)

  • - A sloth's feces emerges as a single solid mass

  • and can be up to a third of the sloth's total weight.

  • (sloth groaning)

  • You can actually see its abdomen deflate as it shits.

  • Some people have likened it more

  • to giving birth than defecating.

  • - Oh, crap, I forgot my phone.

  • Oh, here's one.

  • - That's mine!

  • - This is so dumb.

  • Why would they evolve like this?

  • - Because they don't wanna leave the trees.

  • The forest floor is a scary place to shit.

  • - They're like those weirdos

  • who are afraid to poop in public bathrooms.

  • - But unlike those weirdos,

  • they have a legitimate reason to be afraid.

  • Sloths can only move on the ground by crawling very slowly.

  • They're highly susceptible to predators down there.

  • (sloths groaning)

  • Over half of all sloths' fatalities happen while shitting.

  • (spooky music) (cats growl)

  • - Our grandfather died the same way.

  • - Then why leave the trees at all?

  • - Yeah, can't they just poop over the side?

  • - Actually, nobody knows for sure.

  • Some say it's to make less noise

  • and avoid attracting attention,

  • some say it's to build a little shit pile

  • that will mark their presence to other sloths,

  • and some say it helps maintain the population

  • of moths that live in sloths' fur.

  • For now, it remains a mystery.

  • - Damn it, now I can only think

  • of sloths as dumb ass shit machines.

  • - But can't they be cute dumb ass shit machines?

  • (groaning in pain)

  • - Ugh, let's just go.

  • - Of course! (whooshing)

  • (kids yelling)

  • (whimsical music)

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  • (flies buzzing)

  • Oh, baby.

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  • - All right, everyone can disperse now.

  • - [Woman] That cop cut down our eel.

  • - Get him! - Fight!

  • (screaming)

(upbeat techno music)

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B2 US sloth groaning fuck dropout poop stomach

Sloths Risk Death When They Poop

  • 176 6
    Liang Chen posted on 2019/04/24
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