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  • It's Rogue One. It's Rogue One. (Singing)

  • I'm going to see Rogue One. (Singing)

  • Commander, did you secure the item which I have requested?

  • What Item, Lord Vader?

  • The tickets, you imbecile!

  • Tickets for?

  • The tickets for Rogue One.

  • You didn't secure them?

  • We're in the midst of a war Lord Vader.

  • It would seem that I neglected to...

  • It would seem you are no longer capable, commander.

  • Excuse me, pardon me. Lord Vader escort coming through.

  • Coming through, excuse me. One side, please. Uh! This floor is sticky.

  • (Dramatic music plays)

  • What is the meaning of this? This isn't Rogue One. Or is it?

  • Lord Vader, this is just the opening short film. Rogue One hasn't started yet, don't worry.

  • Ah, very well then.

  • All right, so cleaning the floor is a pretty easy job. Just look busy if Vader comes by.

  • And make sure to put up the wet floor sign.

  • Copy that, sir!

  • Ok. Good Luck.

  • Hmmm. Impressive. Most Impressive.

  • Indeed, I have not seen such a good inspection since... well, since a long time.

  • Wait a minute, isn't there usually a wet floor sign awoawoawoawo

  • Oh, blast it. Oh man, I am so fired.

  • Who in the galaxy is playing me in this video? It's completely unrealistic.

  • I don't sound like that in real life. And besides that, the consequences for an unclean floor should have been much more, extreme!

  • (Swallows)

  • Please silence all cell phones and refrain from talking during the movie. Thank you.

  • Everyone! Did you hear that? Shut up and turn your cell phones off.

  • I won't have this movie ruined by your infernal texting and small talk.

  • (Beeping)

  • We just a call got about someone poking around in the B2 section of the basement.

  • Go check it out and report back.

  • Umm, OK. (Nervous)

  • Is there a problem? Was I unclear?

  • Uh, no, I totally got it.

  • Ok then. Go. (Annoyed)

  • I'm not even sure where B2 is.

  • I might be down here for a while.

  • Then she's gonna call me back asking what's taking so long. Jeez! What am I even doing?

  • What am I even gonna do if I find somebody down here? Oh man, oh man I'm so nervous.

  • (Beep)

  • Ahhhhh!

  • (Panicked breathing)

  • This is an Imperial stormtrooper speaking. Come out with your hands where I can see 'em. (Scared)

  • I mean, come out with your hands up. (Scared)

  • I mean, where I can see them.

  • Yeah, that's what I mean. Come out with your hands up.

  • Where I can see them.

  • OK.

  • Please don't hurt me.

  • (Ominous music plays)

  • (Beeping)

  • Uh.

  • Phew. Yeah, it's just a droid.

  • I'm okay.

  • Nothing's wrong. Everything's fine.

  • (Ominous music plays)

  • AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

  • Why are you screaming?

  • Uh, 'cause you scared me. Uh, have you seen anyone else down here?

  • Besides you, no.

  • Oh, OK. Ummm, well I guess I'm outta here then. Uh, bye. See ya.

  • Find anything?

  • Uh, no. Nothing, it's fine. Everything's fine.

  • Umm, excuse me, ma'am. Is it time to go home yet?

  • Oh, you've got to be kidding me. When is Rogue One starting?

  • Aahhh, yes. Finally.

  • (Ringtone plays)

  • Where is that light coming from? I'm blind.

  • (Frantic music plays)

  • We're under attack! Take cover!

  • ENOUGH!

  • (Laughs)

  • That's better.

  • Your popcorn, Lord Vader.

It's Rogue One. It's Rogue One. (Singing)

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