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  • This just feels weird. Normally we've got a massive buffer zone between the Japanese

  • and western releases of Pokémon, meaning I've got months of stewing in spoilers and

  • finally breaking down and importing a copy before everyone else gets on the same page.

  • This time... none of that. A global worldwide release means I can hunker down in my new-game

  • bomb shelter with a case of vanilla Coke, a couple pizzas, and the knowledge that for

  • the first time since the internet became a "thing" I can slam face through a Pokémon

  • game and be SURPRISED. Something I'd never seen before might show up and I've gotta solve

  • it through context clues and picking apart its design. And then... I encounter a freakin'

  • Pidgey. The same Pidgey I've been catching since '98.

  • Pokémon X and Y represent the sixth generation of the famously bifurcated series, with another

  • hundred or so cute creatures to obtain and train, trade and... I can't think of a rhyme.

  • I don't think there's a man, woman or child on the face of the earth who doesn't grok

  • the basic mechanics: random battles, RPG-style character progression, beating down and subjugating

  • monsters you encounter in the wild using balls that fly in the face of nearly every physical

  • law. That much we're set with. The question is: What separates this generation from the

  • five that came before it? Aside from the rampant Frenchness. Seriously, I tried playing this

  • game with an episode of Wakfu in the background and nearly sprained something.

  • Behold, Lumiose City, the biggest freakin' town in Pokémon history. It's got three separate

  • regions you can Fly to, 43 shops, cafes, and other explorable buildings (including three

  • Pokémon Centers) and the freakin' Eiffel Tower or a reasonable facsimile thereof. On

  • the one hand, it's obvious that the series is trying to go bigger and larger with every

  • iteration, now offering breathtaking views of landmarks and castles where you can go

  • and have your picture taken like a good tourist, but on the other... well, the game's camera

  • just hates you. And it's a Pokémon game, which means that really doesn't matter as

  • much as in, y'know, anything with any action, but I've experienced some of the stupidest

  • angles imaginable in the history of the series. Because what you really need to be seeing

  • as you head into a new town is a hard close-up of your own character, running forward with

  • no indication of what's in front of him. But hey, at least you can change your clothes.

  • Because your average Pokémon fan is a very chic and trendy individual, there is certain

  • content that's out-of-bounds unless you're dressed stylishly enough. And don't get me

  • wrong, I like the fact that you can switch out your gear for a purely cosmetic change

  • of pace, but using it to lock content is just a way of delaying it until you get to the

  • endgame and money doesn't really matter. That is, of course, unless you're really into that

  • sort of thing to the detriment of your dream of catching 'em all. Which might not be your

  • dream in the first place, come to think of it. Black and White introduced us to the concept

  • of having two contemporaries alongside whom you take your first steps into the world;

  • X and Y doubles that. Now you've got your serious rival, another girl who's mostly in

  • it for the cute things, a nerdy kid who measures his self-worth in terms of Pokedex completion,

  • and a dude who wants nothing more than to DANCE. Really covering all the playstyles,

  • there.

  • Which brings us to Mega Evolution. By equipping a rather obviously-named stone - like Lucarionite,

  • Gengarite, or Blastoisinite - to the appropriate Pokémon, they can undergo a Mega Evolution

  • and grow more spikes and get a stat boost, ability change, and/or entirely new typing.

  • On the one hand, it provides a new and interesting strategic element, as well as a new lease

  • on life for some of the more obscure monsters like Mawile and Absol. And then they get kinda

  • abusive with Mega Garchomp - like he needed a boost - and two different flavors of Mega

  • Mewtwo. You can only Mega-Evolve one Pokémon per battle, and the evolution stays even if

  • that Pokémon switches out... and I was going to say "So don't be afraid to use U-turn"

  • until I did some research and found that there aren't any Mega Pokémon that can learn U-turn.

  • And, as usual, you thwart the machinations of a very fashion-forward doomsday cult hellbent

  • on destroying the world, while realizing your dream of being the best like no one ever was,

  • just like all the rest of 'em. The story certainly feels a bit weaker than the 5th generation's

  • tale of the Plight of N; I thought that we were making progress here. Oh well. Geez,

  • I've managed to blow through... um... this amount of time... without even touching on

  • the new type, or the new training methods available, or any of a number of innovations

  • designed to help you connect to your fellow trainers around the world... So I'm just gonna

  • cut it here and pick up in the second part of the review, same Zubat time, same Zubat

  • channel.

This just feels weird. Normally we've got a massive buffer zone between the Japanese

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