B1 Intermediate US 146 Folder Collection
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Nearly every day, there is a shooting in America.
But rarely do we consider the impact a shooting has
on our elected officials.
"I'm more than happy to talk about this in a few days.
Right now is not the time."
“There's a time and place for a political debate.”
“But it's a little bit soon to go into it.”
“This is not the time to jump to some conclusion.”
“This is not the time to have the discussion.”
“Today is not the day.”
Introducing Aftershot, the only app
that helps a bunch of [expletive] figure out
when to talk about gun reform.
When developing Aftershot, we learned that most politicians
actually voted against the C.D.C. researching
the scale and scope of our country's gun crisis.
Many see that as politicians just not caring about it.
But, surely, they care about innocent people being
senselessly gunned down.
They're just confused.
That's why we made Aftershot.
We've invested hundreds of thousands
of hours feeding mountains of statistical data
through a complex mathematical equation that
creates an algorithm that takes
mere seconds to pinpoint the exact right time to talk
about gun reform.
Let's say you're a governor, and it's
the day after a mass shooting in your state.
For some reason, you're still confused
when to talk about gun reform, even though 52 percent of Americans
want stricter gun laws.
That's the perfect time to open up the app.
You enter some simple metadata,
such as time of shooting, weapon used,
and our algorithm does the rest.
The equation is simple.
There's a shooting every four hours,
plus 44 percent of Americans know somebody who's been shot,
plus the number of gun deaths in 2018 so far, which
is 11,054 people, plus there are
270 million guns in the U.S., plus the annual cost
of gun violence in the U.S., which is $229 billion.
Aftershot crunches all that data
to determine, with absolute certainty, the correct time
for lawmakers to talk about gun reform.
[beeping]
And, remarkably, it always says now.
[beeping]
Oh, I love the app.
And it's so easy to use.
As a member of Congress who receives a ton of money
from the N.R.A., I find it so frustrating
not to be able to use my N.R.A. log-in with other apps.
But Aftershot is synced with my N.R.A. profile,
so logging in is super simple.
Oh, I absolutely love Aftershot's social media
functions.
After a mass shooting, I tend to go on Twitter
and offer up some innocuous platitude to the victims.
But, now, with Aftershot's autocorrect feature,
I can no longer do that, which is good, I think.”
I have a deep distrust for science stuff and technology,
which is why I love Aftershot's 24/7 customer
support hotline.
There's an Aftershot troubleshooter there
always to interpret their notifications, which
are frequent, because there are a lot of shootings.
To all the politicians who might
be confused by or scared of having
a conversation about gun reform, we're here to help.
With our game-changing technology,
you will never again have to utter the phrase,
"Now is not the right time."
And to all the people in America,
if your local representatives are
struggling to have a conversation about gun
reform, help them out.
Encourage them to download Aftershot.
Or you could just vote us out of office.
You don't need an app for that.
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Gun Violence: Is Now the Right Time to Talk? | NYT Opinion

146 Folder Collection
Liang Chen published on February 27, 2019
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