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  • Merry Christmas!

  • Yeah that's right, I said it.

  • What are you gonna do about it, atheists?

  • Christmas carols are an integral part of creating the Christmas atmosphere.

  • Okay, yes, I agree it's annoying when radio stations play Christmas music directly after Halloween.

  • But when December finally rolls around, and Michael Bublé emerges from his cave, magic fills the air.

  • And if you worked in retail, you probably listened to every single Christmas song ever created.

  • After many hours of research, I have found that there's two types of Christmas music.

  • On one side, you have songs about Santa Claus.

  • And on the other side, you have songs about Jesus.

  • Isn't it funny that "Santa" is an anagram for "Satan"?

  • Just something to think about.

  • Christmas is easily the most sung-about holiday.

  • Halloween isn't even in a close second.

  • But it‘s also the most diverse genre of music out there.

  • You have songs like "Away In a Manger" and "Silent Night" that can put anyone to sleep.

  • But under the same umbrella, you have "Santa Baby" and "Christmas Don't Be Late" by Alvin and the Chipmunks.

  • I love Christmas carols, okay?

  • It's one of the few good things left in this world that brings a smile to my face.

  • But, now I want to talk about the Christmas carols that don't make a lot of sense.

  • Starting with the song "Silent Night."

  • Okay, sure I've never given birth before.

  • But, I don't know if "All is calm, all is bright" is a good way to describe the process of childbirth.

  • I get that it was Jesus, and he's perfect, okay.

  • But he's still a baby!

  • Mary still had to go into labor.

  • I don't know, I see all of these nativity scenes with Jesus being the center of attention and Mary just off to the side with everyone else.

  • But she just gave birth, you guys!

  • Someone needs to build Mary her own manger to lay down in.

  • Also, "Sleep in heavenly peace?"

  • Yeah, you're not gonna do that ever again.

  • So the song "Last Christmas" is about when Taylor Swift gave someone her heart for Christmas.

  • But then on December 26th, they re-gifted it to someone else.

  • So then the very next year she gave it to someone special.

  • I don't know what the moral of that song is, but it could've been about any holiday.

  • They just happen to break up the day after Christmas.

  • Last Earth Day, I gave you my heart.

  • See, that still works!

  • Walking In A Winter Wonderland?

  • I have a question.

  • Who is Parson Brown?

  • Why is the first thing he says when he comes to life: "Hey, uh, are you kids married?"

  • No, man!

  • But you can do the job when your in town if you know what I'm saying.

  • Oh, Parson is a priest.

  • He was asking "Are you married, 'cause I'm a priest, I can marry you two."

  • "That's my job, ah."

  • "Carol of the Bells?"

  • Now, I love this song, but honestly I don't see how this counts as Christmas music.

  • "Have a Holly Jolly Christmas?" What do you mean by "Kiss her once for me?"

  • Are you cheating on me?

  • Baby Its Cold Outside.

  • Okay, now this one is extremely problematic.

  • Why don't they just put a coat on?

  • "All I want for Christmas is, My two front teeth, a hippopotamus, and... Yoooooooooooooou.

  • I would not wanna meet the person who made this Christmas list.

  • Just saying.

  • I'm Getting Nuttin' For Christmas?

  • How did I not know about this song until just now?

  • Alright, how many Christmas songs can say that they got a movie based off of them?

  • "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer?" Yeah, yeah it's classic.

  • "Frosty the Snowman?" Mm-hmm, mm-hmm yeah good choice.

  • Uh, "The Little Drummer Boy" got a movie? Okay, fine, yeah I'll count that.

  • I think you're all missing the real classical Christmas song.

  • "Grandma got ran over by a reindeer!"

  • In the song, it's canon that grandma died.

  • But at least in the movie, grandma lived.

  • She just got kidnapped by Santa because he was trying to hide the evidence.

  • You know, no witnesses.

  • I hope they don't make a "Baby, It's Cold Outside" movie.

  • Just an hour and a half of people not putting on jackets.

  • Anyways, I have to keep this video extremely short if I wanna get it out by Christmas.

  • I hope you all have a good holiday.

  • And if you don't celebrate Christmas, you're missing out on some great carols, and questionable morals.

  • Thanks for watching, I'm gonna be taking some time off to celebrate Christmas with my family.

  • Remember to buy that merch, and as always, wear your seatbelt.

Merry Christmas!

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