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  • - [Narrator] Tragedy is something that we all experience

  • in life.

  • And we can't control this.

  • The only thing we can control,

  • is how we respond to the tragedy.

  • I'm going to share with you two different stories.

  • One, about a man named Ben, and another,

  • about a man named Jeff.

  • Let's look at our friend Ben.

  • Ben is a 28-year-old, happy man.

  • He works a comfortable nine to five job,

  • he has a dog, he has a house.

  • He has friends and family that all love him,

  • and he has a lovely girlfriend who he is planning

  • on proposing to, in the upcoming years.

  • From the outside looking in,

  • everything is going right in his life.

  • The best way that I would describe Ben's life,

  • is the white picket fence life.

  • Ben and his girlfriend have been dating

  • since they were 18 years old.

  • And he is truly in love with her.

  • From a very early age,

  • they would talk about their futures together.

  • They would talk about what kind of wedding they would want.

  • They would talk about the type of house they would live in.

  • They would talk about how many kids they would want.

  • And, when Ben heard this, he wanted to provide for her.

  • Ben wanted to give her everything that she wanted

  • out of life.

  • And he was willing to do the work in order to do this.

  • So one week, Ben had to leave town for work.

  • So, he cleaned the house, took his dog for a walk,

  • kissed his girlfriend goodbye, and he was on his way.

  • Halfway through his out-of-town work week, he learned

  • that he could actually come home early, if he wanted to.

  • So Ben decided to do something nice for his girlfriend.

  • He decided to surprise her with flowers and chocolate.

  • In an attempt to be more spontaneous.

  • Which is a quality that his girlfriend really, really likes.

  • And it's something that his girlfriend

  • would wish that he did more of.

  • So Ben drives home, and he is walking up to the door,

  • with flowers and chocolate in hand,

  • excited to surprise her.

  • He opens the door, and the first thing that he noticed,

  • were someone else's shoes, were on the floor.

  • He did not really think much of it.

  • He figured that she had some friends over.

  • She was, after all, a very social, a friendly person.

  • And because he was gone, she might have been bored.

  • He walked around the downstairs of the house,

  • looking for them.

  • But, he didn't see anything.

  • But he did see that there was an open bottle of wine

  • sitting on the kitchen counter.

  • He went upstairs to look more, but still, there was nothing.

  • At this point, he was getting a little confused.

  • Was she even home?

  • There was only one room that he had not checked.

  • And that was, the bedroom.

  • So Ben goes up to the door, and he opens it,

  • still having flowers in hand.

  • And what he saw, would haunt him for the rest of his life.

  • He saw the girl, that he had been dating for 10 years,

  • the girl, who he had said that he was gonna marry,

  • the girl, that he had planned his future with.

  • He saw this girl in bed with another man.

  • The moment that Ben saw this, his heart sank.

  • And he felt his stomach turn in knots.

  • His head began pounding.

  • He felt physically sick.

  • In that moment, the only words that Ben could really muster,

  • was, you need to leave.

  • The next day, she packed up all of her bags,

  • and just like that, she was gone.

  • The next few months would be prove to be

  • the worst months of his life.

  • Because he was so heartbroken,

  • he started to perform worse at work.

  • He stopped exercising.

  • He stopped staying in contact with his friends and family.

  • He would spend his nights in front of the TV,

  • cursing his girlfriend's name.

  • He would ask himself, "How could she do this to me?

  • "I wanted to give her everything,

  • "I told her that I would give her

  • "everything that she wanted.

  • "But yet she still does this to me.

  • "This woman ruined my life."

  • This behavior continued over time.

  • And it got so bad, that Ben almost lost his job.

  • And because he could not afford this,

  • he did pull himself together a little bit,

  • and he did just enough not to lose his job.

  • But his mind and body were still only half there.

  • He was never fully engaged in anything that he was doing.

  • He spends the next few years doing a good enough job

  • not to get fired.

  • But, he was still miserable and depressed.

  • And he kept blaming his girlfriend

  • for the way his life was.

  • I think at this point in the story,

  • a lot of you are probably thinking to yourself,

  • yeah, that is terrible, but,

  • this does not happen that often,

  • and it would not happen to me.

  • And my response to that would be,

  • just wait until you get older.

  • Things change a lot when people get to the stereotypical

  • marriage age, which would be around 28 to 30 years old.

  • And these types of things are much more common

  • later on in life.

  • Let's look at the second story.

  • The second story is the same as the first story,

  • up until the point where Ben saw

  • that she was cheating on him.

  • And the character of this story is named Jeff.

  • So when Jeff saw this, he told her to leave.

  • And she left the next day.

  • And of course, Jeff was heartbroken.

  • He cried, and didn't understand

  • how she could do this to him.

  • He spent the next few months in pain, crying his life away.

  • And cursing his girlfriend.

  • He would ask himself similar questions.

  • "How could she do this to me?

  • "I wanted to give her everything."

  • But, it's at this point when Jeff does something different.

  • Instead of cursing her name, and thinking to himself

  • how awful of a person she was, Jeff asked himself a question

  • that 90% of people will never ask.

  • And he asked himself, "Did I do anything

  • "that caused her to cheat on me?"

  • So Jeff actually got his phone,

  • and he called his ex-girlfriend.

  • She was a little stunned to hear his voice.

  • And when Jeff asked her the question,

  • she responded with, "Um, I don't know.

  • "I guess I just lost attraction to you.

  • "I'm sorry."

  • So, instead of continuing to be depressed,

  • Jeff made a commitment to start working on himself.

  • He started to try and make himself

  • a more attractive man.

  • A better man.

  • Jeff started off very small.

  • He simply started going to the gym again on a regular basis.

  • And he did that for a few months.

  • Then, he started to clean up his diet a bit.

  • And he did that for a few months.

  • Jeff also started to regain focus on his job.

  • And he started to perform better.

  • When he felt okay about his job, and his physical health,

  • he even started to look up ways to start making more money

  • on the side.

  • Because Jeff had always dreamed

  • about starting his own business.

  • When Jeff was with his girlfriend,

  • they would cuddle up with each other,

  • and watch Netflix in the evenings.

  • And that's just what they did, every single night.

  • But now that she was gone, Jeff had way more time

  • to work on himself and his own business.

  • As a result of this extra work though,

  • he started to have some sleeping issues.

  • So he started to look up ways to sleep better.

  • He started to meditate before bed to calm his mind.

  • He like the way meditating made him feel,

  • so he started to meditate in the mornings.

  • And because of this, he became a less-stressed person.

  • Months went by of Jeff putting in a little bit of work

  • every single day.

  • And eventually he saw some results.

  • But he still wasn't happy with how fast it was growing,

  • and he wanted to find ways to grow even faster.

  • On the weekends, he started to network,

  • and meet other successful people.

  • He started to pick up new hobbies, like golfing and boxing.

  • Jeff even met an older man that he shared his story with.

  • And this man could really relate to his story.

  • So much so, that this man became Jeff's mentor.

  • And he helped him grow his small business

  • to the point where he started to make more money from that

  • than from his normal job.

  • So as a result of this,

  • Jeff actually quit his nine to five job.

  • And, with his newfound freedom, Jeff did something

  • that he had always dreamed of doing,

  • since he was a kid.

  • Which was, moving to Italy to study Italian.

  • Jeff had originally given up on his dream of doing this.

  • Because he was in a committed relationship,

  • and he had a nine to five job, he was very comfortable,

  • and it just didn't make sense.

  • But because his girlfriend was gone,

  • because of his new online business,

  • he decided to pack his bags

  • and move to Italy for six months.

  • So as Jeff was sipping a beer on the beach,

  • with his laptop in his hand,

  • looking into the deep ocean with the sun out,

  • he had felt something that he had not felt

  • in a long time.

  • Which was happiness and gratitude.

  • He thought back to the last time he had felt like this.

  • And it was when he was with his girlfriend.

  • And then suddenly,

  • he had a flashback to her cheating on him.

  • He thought to himself, although seeing my girlfriend

  • cheat on me like that, cut me very deep,

  • and in a lot of ways, it broke my heart.

  • And, in some ways, I am still not over it.

  • But, in a way, it may have been the best thing

  • that could have ever happened to me.

  • If that didn't happen to me, I would have never started

  • working out on a regular basis.

  • I would have never improved my diet.

  • I would have never had time to start my own online business.

  • I would have never had the ability to come to Italy

  • and fulfill my dream.

  • I would have continued to work at my job,

  • and spend my evenings watching Netflix with my girlfriend,

  • in my comfortable state.

  • From that point on, Jeff continued to live his life

  • of trying to be better, every single day,

  • and he never stopped working on himself.

  • The lesson of these two stories are simple,

  • but it's crucial to understand.

  • Not only will this concept change your life,

  • but if you don't understand it,

  • it has the potential to ruin your life.

  • And the concept is actually very simple.

  • When tragedy happens in your life, from relationships,

  • loved ones passing, to getting fired, it's up to you

  • how you want to respond.

  • If you respond like Ben, it can be one of the worst things

  • that could have ever happened to you.

  • But, if you respond like Jeff,

  • it could be one of the best things

  • that could ever happen to you.

  • I'm not saying you shouldn't cry,

  • I'm not saying it's bad to let yourself

  • experience the emotions,

  • and to take time off,

  • but it's important to understand

  • that you can't spend the rest of your life in that state.

  • You will eventually have to accept your reality

  • and move on with your life.

  • If you enjoyed this video,

  • please be sure to leave the video a like,

  • and of course, subscribe to the channel.

  • Thanks for watching, and, I'll see you in the next one.

  • (calm piano music)

- [Narrator] Tragedy is something that we all experience

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