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  • ANDREW GREEN: Today we catch up with Drake.

  • We hear about one of the craziest nights Nas has ever

  • experienced.

  • And we explore the weird corners of the World Wide Web.

  • NAS: Yo, what up?

  • This is Nas, and this like a crazy party, crazy thing I

  • remember from back in the days.

  • I went to a party in the city for the Shaft movie premier

  • with Samuel Jackson--

  • New York City nightclub.

  • All of the sudden, I'm in the middle of Wesley Snipes and

  • Grace Jones.

  • Wesley had on black.

  • And he was chilling.

  • And Grace was chilling-- very beautiful.

  • Grace Jones knocked my drink on my arm, and some of it got

  • on her arm.

  • She's didn't see me there.

  • She just did it by mistake.

  • And I looked.

  • She looked at me.

  • She grabbed me and she--

  • her arm, it was sleeveless.

  • She looked at her arm where the drink had fell and just

  • licked her arm where the drink had fell.

  • And I was a few things--

  • I was starstruck, turned on, I thought I was in

  • the Twilight Zone.

  • And she probably didn't even who I was.

  • But I knew who she is--

  • I'm a fan.

  • And someone else grabbed me.

  • It's Wesley Snipes.

  • Oh shit, he pushed me.

  • And he's asked me: are you a rapper or a scientist?

  • And I'm like damn, Wesley Snipes pushed me kinda hard,

  • like, that's Wesley and everything, but he's pushing

  • me, like, what's going on?

  • "I said, are you a rapper or a scientist?" And I'm like damn,

  • Wesley Snipes is about to do some Blade shit to me.

  • So I pushed him back.

  • Boom!

  • And I said, you won't make it out of here alive, man.

  • Wesley realized, why am I pushing Nas?

  • And I'm like like, why am I pushing back Wesley?

  • And where's Grace Jones at?

  • It was just a weird little moment right there, so.

  • And that was some crazy-ass shit from back in the days

  • around the way.

  • Love those days.

  • ANDREW GREEN: I thought Wesley Snipes was in prison.

  • Next up, we check back in with our real-life Muppet, Hanson

  • O'Haver, for another installment of, "What's Up

  • With Drake?"

  • HANSON O'HAVER: I'm Hanson O'Haver.

  • This is "What's Up with Drake."

  • So I'd like to take some time today to address what's kind

  • of the most common criticism of Drake, which is that he has

  • no sense of humor about himself.

  • And you know, I don't know Drake personally, so for all I

  • know he could be a perfectly modest and just

  • affable young man.

  • But I'll agree that the way he presents himself is as someone

  • who takes himself too seriously.

  • For example, he tweets things like, "I don't have an

  • addictive personality, but I'm hooked on it." Or, like, posts

  • ridiculous photos of himself on his own blog.

  • And in any normal situation this would take away from an

  • artist's charm.

  • We like people that are kind of self-effacing.

  • And musicians who take themselves really seriously

  • are the worst.

  • For example, think of Creed, or, like, Bono with this

  • tinted sunglasses and his arms spread like a sort of rock and

  • roll Jesus.

  • Every once in a while due to a combination of synergy, and

  • luck, and whatever else, for a brief period of time,

  • everything that a musician does is flawless.

  • And during this period, if they were to present

  • themselves in a less-than-serious manner, it

  • would only take away from their charm.

  • For example, think of Prince's Purple Rain.

  • Everyone agrees that it's amazing.

  • But it's also totally insane.

  • Yet if Prince were to acknowledge this and to, sort

  • of, wink at his audience and say, hey guys, I know that you

  • guys know that this is totally silly, the whole thing would

  • have been ruined.

  • I think that right now we've reached this sort of "peak

  • Drake," where everything that he does is amazing--

  • from his albums, to his videos, to his guest spot on

  • the new Meek Millz song.

  • And as long as he continues in this manner, there's no reason

  • that he needs to present himself as anything less than

  • just a totally serious guy making serious music about his

  • really serious emotions.

  • ANDREW GREEN: Why do I have this weird feeling that

  • Drake's going to steal Hanson from Vice just to

  • become his hype man?

  • And finally, we check back in with our buddy Thomas Morton,

  • a Dickens character that time forgot, to get his take on all

  • of the shit that we waste our lives on instead of getting

  • anything productive done.

  • It's time for another episode of "Whatcha Watching?"

  • THOMAS MORTON: Hi, welcome to the Vice offices.

  • As you can see, everybody here is doing a very good job

  • looking busy.

  • They're all at computers, though, which means what

  • they're actually doing is, basically, what you're doing--

  • screwing around on the internet.

  • I work on a computer, too.

  • I'm no stranger to YouTube links.

  • And so I've decided to put together a few of my favorites

  • from this week.

  • So come enjoy the cream of the crap.

  • Hey, so it's been a little bit.

  • I thought we'd play a little catch-up.

  • This first video is actually, I think, the first video I

  • watched on the internet.

  • It's a short and quick one.

  • It's titled "Burrito Punch." A tormented, heavy-set, Angus

  • kind of kid is pelted with a burrito and then exacts really

  • quick schoolyard justice.

  • MALE SPEAKER 1: Oh shit.

  • MALE SPEAKER 2: What the hell, man?

  • ANDREW GREEN: So, continuing on the sort of ad hoc theme

  • we've got going of justice and comeuppance is a stark

  • morality play called "The Story of Mr. Dollar." Mr.

  • Dollar, as you can see, is kind of a ramshackle dollar

  • store operation out in Bushwick.

  • And here you see its owner doing a less-than-effective

  • job cleaning up standing rainwater on its roof.

  • And in a moment of Buster Keaton-esque comedic timing,

  • you can see the ladder raises and marches off frame.

  • So the second part takes place a month later and is basically

  • a static shot of the damage that the standing water he

  • never fully removed from his room has done, which has

  • basically destroyed his business.

  • [LAUGH]

  • What starts as your basic kind of angry human baby berating

  • service industry employees video is turned on its head by

  • the interruption of this skinny little nerdlinger.

  • If you read the comments, it turns out to be a varsity

  • Greco-Roman wrestler who just happens to be a

  • Whataburger at 3:00 AM--

  • probably stoned, visibly stoned.

  • MALE SPEAKER 3: I asked you for a cheeseburger.

  • FEMALE SPEAKER 1: I'm sorry, what did you say?

  • MALE SPEAKER 3: I asked you for a cheeseburger!

  • FEMALE SPEAKER 1: Shut up!

  • MALE SPEAKER 4: Let them go.

  • Let them go.

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • MALE SPEAKER 4: Let them go.

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • THOMAS MORTON: To keep this from getting too kind of,

  • like, morality-heavy, next is a simple slice of life from

  • either North England or Scotland.

  • It's basically a guy who sees a trampoline

  • passing by in a storm.

  • MALE SPEAKER 5: Oh my god.

  • Trampoline.

  • Trampoline.

  • FEMALE SPEAKER 2: Oh yeah.

  • MALE SPEAKER 5: Oh my god.

  • Oh my god.

  • THOMAS MORTON: A picture-perfect sort of

  • life-imitates-art callback to one of the greatest moments of

  • 1990s animation.

  • HOMER SIMPSON: [GASP]

  • Oh my god!

  • LISA SIMPSON: What is it?

  • HOMER SIMPSON: Tramampoline!

  • Trambopoline!

  • THOMAS MORTON: I don't think I've ever said trampoline

  • right since the airing of that episode.

  • To close this week, I wanted to show you guys a favored

  • video of a, it's sort of, it's a flying lawnmower that I

  • think they sell to model airplanes enthusiasts this set

  • to the tune of the moon level from NES's Duck Tales, adding

  • a twinge of nostalgia to the general air of serenity that

  • this should instill in you.

  • [8-BIT MUSIC PLAYING]

  • THOMAS MORTON: Well, that's it for now.

  • We'll be back next week.

  • Thanks for YouTube-ing in and subscribe

  • to this stuff, please.

  • ANDREW GREEN: I hope you enjoyed another episode of

  • Vice Today.

  • Come back every Monday and Thursday for new episodes.

  • And as always, if you like what you saw, click up here to

  • subscribe, and thanks for watching.

ANDREW GREEN: Today we catch up with Drake.

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    阿明 posted on 2018/12/19
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