All right.

Oh, look, It's the first time I've seen my book in a store.

It's here.

You're going to sign books.

We have a Michelle Obama here.

[CHEERING]

Michelle Obama.

[CHEERING]

She'll be signing books.

[LAUGHS]

How are you?

Hi.

What's your name?

Hi, nice to meet you.

I'm Sophia.

Sophia.

Hi, Sophia.

You've got your book?

You'll start reading it when you get home.

Ellen, you can't sign my book.

Yes, I can.

[LAUGHTER]

No, you can't.

For Cameron.

Wait, wait, OK, so now you have to make a choice.

Do you want an Ellen-signed Michelle Obama

book or a Michelle-Obama-signed Michelle Obama book?

What if you get both of our signatures?

That would be fantastic.

[LAUGHS]

Why is your signature bigger than mine on my book?

The heck.

Free samples.

[LAUGHTER]

Anybody want a free sample?

If I could have a signed--

What's your name?

Sure, here's a free sample for you.

[LAUGHTER]

[INTERPOSING VOICES]

What is your name?

What's your name?

Michelle, what did you put in here?

Oh my god.

[LAUGHTER]

What?

Michelle, you can't do that.

Look at her.

She does a lot of book signings, so she gets a little, you know.

[LAUGHTER]

That's crazy.

You can't--

It's OK.

I'm sorry, don't even act like that happened, all right?

OK, what's your name?

Gina.

So G-I--

G-I-N-A.

G-I-N-A.

Yeah.

To Gina.

Here's my book.

Thank you.

OK.

[LAUGHS]

Gina.

Gina.

Did you want Ellen's book too?

Yes, of course.

Yeah.

You don't have to be polite.

[LAUGHTER]

Thank you.

What did you--

I didn't say anything.

Oh.

What aisle is the foot fungus medicine on?

[LAUGHTER]

Michelle is asking for foot fungus medicine.

I don't need foot fungus medicine.

No?

No.

Hi, Michelle, so I came for lunch, because I got her lunch.

And my grandbaby's just--

What are you doing?

Are you sure you only want the 30-pack?

[LAUGHTER]

I don't need that much toilet paper.

I'm good.

We're good.

Why do you say one thing to me quietly and then act

like you didn't say it?

OK, and this one as well?

My mom.

L-I-L-A.

For those of you who can't get here,

I'm going to read a tiny bit of her book

so that you can see what is inside.

He took her by the waist and pulled her flush against his chest--

[LAUGHTER]

That's not--

--the number one thing this woman needs.

That's not my book.

Thank you so much.

[LAUGHTER]

What book was that?

I don't know.

Stop reading from my book.

[LAUGHS]

Emma.

Emma, OK.

I'm about to give it to her.

Smell this.

No, no.

Because when they go low, we get high.

[LAUGHTER]

When they go low, we get high.

Put that down or you're going to get that up your nose.

And then you'll be sorry.

Gonna get up your nose.

OK, thanks so much.

You want me to sign a book to you?

I would love that.

That's Sheri, S-H-E-R-I--

S H A A R I A S C H A I O R I O I O U

[LAUGHTER]

Step on up.

Thank you very much.

How are you?

When I say a "Michelle," you say "Pfeiffer."

Michelle!

Pfeiffer!

Michelle!

Pfeiffer!

[LAUGHTER]

You thought I was going to say, "Obama."

I think you got me on that one.

All right.

What's your name?

Lilliam, L-I, double-L, I-A-M.

Stop signing.

[LAUGHS]

I'm helping and then you just sign your name.

That's messy.

No, no, I'll do it for you.

It actually ends with an M.

Ends with an M.

You spelled it wrong.

Well, you would have spelled it wrong, too,

had she not said that.

L-I, double-L--

L-I-L-L-A--

M.

See?

And second name is L--

L-I-L-L--

I-A-M.

I-A-M.

OK.

You're--

Don't confuse her now, Ellen.

I'm guiding her.

[LAUGHTER]

This is not helpful.

[LAUGHS]

All right, you know what, you do it by yourself then.

[LAUGHTER]

Aw.

It's better that way.

[LAUGHS]

How are you guys doing?

What's your name?

Monica.

Monica, great, M-O-N-I-C-A?

Yes, beautiful.

No, we're going to keep--

I won't say anything.

Oh my gosh.

[LAUGHTER]

From sitting so much, yeah, that could be a problem.

We don't need this.

No?

No, we don't need this.

No, thank you.

And what's your name?