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  • [MUSIC - EARTH, WIND & FIRE, "SEPTEMBER"]

  • All right.

  • Oh, look, It's the first time I've seen my book in a store.

  • It's here.

  • You're going to sign books.

  • We have a Michelle Obama here.

  • [CHEERING]

  • Michelle Obama.

  • [CHEERING]

  • She'll be signing books.

  • [LAUGHS]

  • How are you?

  • Hi.

  • What's your name?

  • Hi, nice to meet you.

  • I'm Sophia.

  • Sophia.

  • Hi, Sophia.

  • You've got your book?

  • You'll start reading it when you get home.

  • Ellen, you can't sign my book.

  • Yes, I can.

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • No, you can't.

  • For Cameron.

  • Wait, wait, OK, so now you have to make a choice.

  • Do you want an Ellen-signed Michelle Obama

  • book or a Michelle-Obama-signed Michelle Obama book?

  • What if you get both of our signatures?

  • That would be fantastic.

  • [LAUGHS]

  • Why is your signature bigger than mine on my book?

  • The heck.

  • Free samples.

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • Anybody want a free sample?

  • If I could have a signed--

  • What's your name?

  • Sure, here's a free sample for you.

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • [INTERPOSING VOICES]

  • What is your name?

  • What's your name?

  • Michelle, what did you put in here?

  • Oh my god.

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • What?

  • Michelle, you can't do that.

  • Look at her.

  • She does a lot of book signings, so she gets a little, you know.

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • That's crazy.

  • You can't--

  • It's OK.

  • I'm sorry, don't even act like that happened, all right?

  • OK, what's your name?

  • Gina.

  • So G-I--

  • G-I-N-A.

  • G-I-N-A.

  • Yeah.

  • To Gina.

  • Here's my book.

  • Thank you.

  • OK.

  • [LAUGHS]

  • Gina.

  • Gina.

  • Did you want Ellen's book too?

  • Yes, of course.

  • Yeah.

  • You don't have to be polite.

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • Thank you.

  • What did you--

  • I didn't say anything.

  • Oh.

  • What aisle is the foot fungus medicine on?

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • Michelle is asking for foot fungus medicine.

  • I don't need foot fungus medicine.

  • No?

  • No.

  • Hi, Michelle, so I came for lunch, because I got her lunch.

  • And my grandbaby's just--

  • What are you doing?

  • Are you sure you only want the 30-pack?

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • I don't need that much toilet paper.

  • I'm good.

  • We're good.

  • Why do you say one thing to me quietly and then act

  • like you didn't say it?

  • OK, and this one as well?

  • My mom.

  • L-I-L-A.

  • For those of you who can't get here,

  • I'm going to read a tiny bit of her book

  • so that you can see what is inside.

  • He took her by the waist and pulled her flush against his chest--

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • That's not--

  • --the number one thing this woman needs.

  • That's not my book.

  • Thank you so much.

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • What book was that?

  • I don't know.

  • Stop reading from my book.

  • [LAUGHS]

  • Emma.

  • Emma, OK.

  • I'm about to give it to her.

  • Smell this.

  • No, no.

  • Because when they go low, we get high.

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • When they go low, we get high.

  • Put that down or you're going to get that up your nose.

  • And then you'll be sorry.

  • Gonna get up your nose.

  • OK, thanks so much.

  • You want me to sign a book to you?

  • I would love that.

  • That's Sheri, S-H-E-R-I--

  • S H A A R I A S C H A I O R I O I O U

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • Step on up.

  • Thank you very much.

  • How are you?

  • When I say a "Michelle," you say "Pfeiffer."

  • Michelle!

  • Pfeiffer!

  • Michelle!

  • Pfeiffer!

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • You thought I was going to say, "Obama."

  • I think you got me on that one.

  • All right.

  • What's your name?

  • Lilliam, L-I, double-L, I-A-M.

  • Stop signing.

  • [LAUGHS]

  • I'm helping and then you just sign your name.

  • That's messy.

  • No, no, I'll do it for you.

  • It actually ends with an M.

  • Ends with an M.

  • You spelled it wrong.

  • Well, you would have spelled it wrong, too,

  • had she not said that.

  • L-I, double-L--

  • L-I-L-L-A--

  • M.

  • See?

  • And second name is L--

  • L-I-L-L--

  • I-A-M.

  • I-A-M.

  • OK.

  • You're--

  • Don't confuse her now, Ellen.

  • I'm guiding her.

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • This is not helpful.

  • [LAUGHS]

  • All right, you know what, you do it by yourself then.

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • Aw.

  • It's better that way.

  • [LAUGHS]

  • How are you guys doing?

  • What's your name?

  • Monica.

  • Monica, great, M-O-N-I-C-A?

  • Yes, beautiful.

  • No, we're going to keep--

  • I won't say anything.

  • Oh my gosh.

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • From sitting so much, yeah, that could be a problem.

  • We don't need this.

  • No?

  • No, we don't need this.

  • No, thank you.

  • And what's your name?

  • Hi, my name's Cheryl.

  • What are you doing?

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • Can't take her anywhere, can you, Michelle?

  • [CLAPPING]

  • Hi, how are you?

  • [PIANO NOISES]

  • Good.

  • What's your name?

  • Karen.

  • Karen, thanks for being here.

  • [LAUGHS]

  • (SINGING): She'll be coming around the mountain

  • when she comes.

  • She'll be coming around the mountain when she comes.

  • Come on, you know, I've learned to ignore her through this--

  • (SINGING): She'll be coming around the mountain.

  • She'll be coming around the mountain.

  • She'll becoming around the mountain when she-- get it?

  • "Becoming."

  • Oh, OK.

  • We'll change it.

  • She'll becoming.

  • You should emphasize it more.

  • You play.

  • No, she plays.

  • Oh god.

  • No, I don't really play.

  • Yes, she does.

  • She says in the book.

  • [LAUGHS]

  • [PIANO PLAYING]

  • [LAUGHS]

  • This is not like a regular piano.

  • [PIANO PLAYING]

  • [APPLAUSE]

  • Thank you, thank you, thank you.

  • (SINGING): Michelle Obama.

  • [LAUGHS]

  • What's your name?

  • (SINGING): Michelle Obama wrote a book.

  • She mentions Oprah several times and me only once.

  • Michelle wrote a book mentioning Oprah too many times but me

  • only once.

  • You were in there.

  • (SINGING): One time she mentions me but only once.

  • How do you spell "Micae Langon"?

  • M-I-C--

  • M-I-C--

  • --K-E-Y. M-O-U-S-E. Mickey Mouse!

  • M-I-C--

  • M-I-C--

  • Oh, OK.

  • All right, to Maya.

  • All right, everybody, this has been fun.

  • I miss Michelle.

  • We miss Michelle.

  • I miss the Obamas.

  • We miss the Obamas.

  • We hope Michelle's foot fungus clears up.

  • [LAUGHS]

  • We hope Michelle's foot fungus clears up.

  • That's wonderful.

  • I don't have foot fungus.

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • We love Michelle!

  • We love Ellen!

  • [APPLAUSE]

  • [MUSIC - SISTER SLEDGE, "WE ARE FAMILY"]

  • We are family.

  • Hi, I'm Andy.

  • Ellen asked me to remind you to subscribe to her channel,

  • so you can see more awesome videos, like videos

  • of me getting scared or saying embarrassing things,

  • like "ball peen hammer" and also some videos

  • of Ellen and other celebrities if you're

  • into that sort of thing.

  • [YELLING]

  • [BLEEP]

  • God [BLEEP]

[MUSIC - EARTH, WIND & FIRE, "SEPTEMBER"]

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