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  • I love Star Wars!

  • Ever since I was a kid, I loved Star Wars!

  • Han Solo...

  • Darth Vader...

  • Jabba the Hutt...

  • There's so many memorable characters and places.

  • That soaring, beautiful, symphonic score

  • by John Williams!

  • The humor!

  • The wit!

  • And the heart of the original trilogy!

  • George Lucas had an incredible vision

  • for another universe,

  • and he took huge risks bringing it to life.

  • So when you make a Star Wars game,

  • you have every advantage,

  • and we've seen some awesome games over the years!

  • I'm talkin' KOTOR, ooh...

  • I'm talkin' Jedi Academy, ooh...

  • Rogue Squadron, ooh...

  • I'm talkin' Star Wars: Kinect...

  • Living like a Star

  • You can't stop my shine

  • ♫ I'm lovin' Cloud City

  • My head's in the sky

  • ♫ I'm solo, I'm Han Solo

  • ♫ I'm Han Solo

  • ♫ I'm Han Solo, Solo

  • So when I heard that Dice,

  • these bumbling fucking buffoons,

  • whose last 3 games were completely broken at launch.

  • When I heard that these guys

  • got the license to Battlefront,

  • I lost all hope.

  • But goddamn...

  • This shit actually works!

  • It works good!

  • The matchmaking is instantaneous!

  • The graphics are amazing!

  • The sound design is incredible!

  • On technical level, this game is a fucking knockout!

  • But...

  • BUT...

  • Wait a minute...

  • [ clears throat ]

  • Hold up...

  • EA.

  • EA Games.

  • The laughing stock of the gaming industry.

  • These guys own Dice,

  • and they have put this game out before it was finished,

  • and just have this dipshit DLC model lined up.

  • And once you've sunken your teeth into this game,

  • you realize that it was rushed out as fast as possible.

  • There's no single player.

  • Instead, you have 9 online game types.

  • 7 of these are just worthless.

  • The real modes,

  • Supremacy and Walker Assault, are fun,

  • but they get stale quick because the maps are so linear

  • and restrictive, not to mention,

  • there's only 4 maps,

  • which is just abysmal for a $60 game.

  • GAMER: Man, there's only 2 more things

  • than in the free beta they gave us!

  • For the amount of content at launch,

  • this stupid ass season pass should have be free..

  • FREE, EA!

  • I actually felt bad when I bought this game,

  • like I was doing something morally wrong

  • by giving EA money.

  • ANAKIN: What have I done??

  • But it's not just missing maps.

  • This game is missing those MAGIC moments that

  • you get from time to time with the Battlefield games.

  • *Wahoo!*

  • *LAUGHING*

  • Yes!

  • *Nice!*

  • Once you've played for 5 hours,

  • you've already experienced everything that can happen.

  • They also really fumbled the ways heroes work.

  • Playing as Darth Vader: it looks badass, you know?

  • This is probably the most unique thing about this game!

  • And I REALLY wish I could tell you what it's like...

  • because in my 10 hours of playing this game...

  • I have yet to play as a single one of the heroes.

  • No, actually, there was one time...

  • DUNKEY: YES!

  • Yes! Finally!

  • Oh my-

  • YES! This is awesome!

  • This is amazing!

  • VADER: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

  • Instead of randomly doling out the heroes like the old Battlefront games,

  • which is the RIGHT way to do it,

  • you have these Power-Ups scattered through the map.

  • So you have the same dickweeds every match

  • sitting in the back, waiting for them to spawn.

  • And then you never get to play as the cool guys.

  • For a game in sincere need for variety, it's a HUGE oversight.

  • Star Wars: Battlefront is the most frustrating kind of game.

  • It's a concept with such huge potential,

  • and Dice has done such a good job capturing the aesthetics of Star Wars,

  • but they haven't innovated with the gameplay at all.

  • It's shallow; it's simplistic; it's repetitive.

  • And you gotta pay $50 to get more maps.

  • I mean...

  • Why...

  • I-

  • [ babbling ]

  • aaaaaaa

  • AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

  • [ explosion ]

  • I give this game a 2/5 in its current state.

  • ♫ [I'm Han Solo from Star Wars: Kinect] ♫

I love Star Wars!

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