I made a video on a breakup I had

and ever since then I've been very interested in the specific actions, not just the mindsets,

but the actions that lead to feeling happier.

Because at the time, feeling happy was tough for me.

It was something that had always come easy,

and all of a sudden,

I just couldn't tap into it.

So I tried dozens of different exercises

and really settled on three that were head and shoulders above the rest,

in terms of immediately changing the way that I felt.

So whether or not you're struggling with happiness today,

or you would just like to feel a little bit happier every day,

because why not, I want to share these exercises with you because they are truly powerful.

First off, create space for your brain to subconsciously solve problems.

Now I gotta explain that because

what a lot of people don't realize is that we spend a lot of our time engaged in active problem-solving.

We're thinking about the future,

we're thinking about the past,

there's some kind of problem we want to solve

or we're just passively absorbing media, really.

Whether it's from your computer screen, your phone,

wherever, you're being stimulated in some way or you're directing your brain.

What we don't realize is that our brain sometimes work best when left to their own devices

when we just get them space to unwind

and I realized this because when I was going through break up,

I'm a writer and one of the first things I did was write all my feelings, get rid of them.

That's helpful, but what I didn't realize was going to happen and the reason I've continued freewriting since,

is that I started solving problems I didn't realize that I had.

Like at the time, I go into a freewriting thing and come out with some sort of business solution for Charisma on Command.

Or I'd realize I feel like,

You know, I haven't done jiujitsu in a while and that's really bothering me

because I said that was important to me.

In any of that, what I started realizing is that we have these subconscious pebbles in our shoe, if you will,

and while they don't always bubble up to conscious level,

they bother us and they weigh on us

so when giving yourself time to realize what those are

and then solve them through something like freewriting which if you don't know what it is,

it's just taking 10 minutes or so to write about 750 words, or three pages.

There's applications that I'll link to that you can do it.

That gives you your subconscious brain permission to say, "Hey, we gotta deal with this stuff."

and then fix it and it's incredible how much it helps.

I really recommend freewriting

but if you're not a writer you can also take a long walk,

you can go for a run, you can do traditional meditation.

A lot of these things can help tremendously

so that's the first one.

The second piece and the third piece are related to gratitude

because in just about every credible scientific study of happiness,

gratitude ranks among the top things that you can do to feel happier,

but there's not a lot of good exercise for actually doing it.

It's just write down five things that you're grateful for

and I found that wasn't really connecting with me

what connected with me was,

as really horrible as it sounds,

was imagining the worst case scenario:

was negative gratitude.

So instead of just saying I'm thankful for my health,

I would say imagine that you went to the doctors today,

and you walked in and he did a test.

He said, "I'm sorry. We just looked at your results,

and it appears like you have cancer

and it's likely to be terminal,"

and then I would sit with that or instead of just saying,

"I'm thankful for living with my friends

and spending time with my friends," I'd say,

"Okay right now my friends are abroad.

What if their plane crashed and they were gone?"

That creates a visceral fear in me, and I would sit with that for 30 seconds, a minute, whenever,

playthrough like, I know this sounds really morbid,

but like the funeral and that would take me to a place that when I stop and I went, "I'm thankful to live with my friends.

Holy cow! That feels amazing!"

And not only does the gratefulness sink in,

but all of a sudden all of your other problems,

whether it's a breakup,

something going on with your business,

or somebody's being mean to you,

they seem so petty.

You're training your brain to really put things in perspective.

You don't want to do this every minute of every day.

I'm not asking you to constantly do this

but for one moment a day as you're doing these exercises to do this,

I found it has really helped me tap into honest gratitude.

And then the third thing, once I get there,

where I'm like, Wow, like things are amazing,

I'll take it to the next level like

not only are my friends not in a plane crash,

but I get to live with them,

I get to hang out with them,

I get through all this cool stuff.

Then when I'm feeling really good,

I extend that gratitude to people that I especially am feeling envious of.

And to give a quick example of someone that I may feel envious of,

I love music.

I've been playing guitar for 10, 12 years.

I just started learning piano and I've been trying to sing for like three years now.

And I've moved from horrible screeching terrible

to mediocre and that means that when I see people

that seem to do it effortlessly

especially when they're younger

and they break onto the scene.

There's a moment of I like that song

but, Man, that fat guy. Screw him. It's just not fair.

And what that does is that sort of thought pattern

can become a habit and you can start to see it in other areas of life.

So rooting it out is going to help you be much happier

and what I'll do here is, okay, take someone, like I really like his music

but i'm jealous. Shawn Mendes, he sings great."

I'll go, you know what? That's amazing that he gets to travel the world and express himself musically for so many people,

that his full-time job is to just get better and better and better at that.

That is amazing, that's so cool for him.

Or if I see someone that has anything,

it doesn't have to be someone that I'm jealous of.

My friends are traveling; I don't want to travel,

but I know that's really great for them that they get to travel.

They've been wanting to do this for so long.

You train yourself.

You do five things that you're grateful for and the opposite

and five things that other people have

that you don't have a reason to be grateful for

but just try to tap into that gratefulness for them anyway.

It can feel hard at first but go through this practice

and what you become is really incredibly charismatic.

This is tough for me but if you can really be the guy

or the girl who is out there and is genuinely happy when good things happen to other people

like filled to the brim,

man, that's the kind of person other people want to be around

and it just gives you so much more happiness in the world to tap into and have yourself.

So I hope that you guys do these things.

If you want to roll them all into one concrete thing that takes 10-20 minutes,

go to the apps in the description and do your freewriting.

Just, you know, let yourself write, brain dump,

get things out, solve some problems,

then at the end do two or three minutes

of this negative gratitude where you're only going to write down five things,

but you're going to sit back and you're gonna think about, "Man, what would the opposite of this be?"

and really associate with that.

And then, then be grateful for the things that you have

and then when you're feeling good you're like,

"My life is so fortunate. Not only these bad things aren't happening but I wasn't born in the fifth century,"

that like there's just so much to be grateful for

for just about every person in the world,

especially those of us who can watch have leisure time

to watch Youtube, then you go and you spread that gratitude to other people.

It takes about 20 minutes, 10-20 minutes a day

and if you do that, you will find that you condition yourself to be happier all the time.

So I hope you guys found this helpful.

If you have, make sure to subscribe to the channel.

We've got tons of videos like these.

Happiness is a pet project of mine that I'll definitely be doing more

but how to learn faster with the charisma breakdowns of the world's most charismatic people.

So subscribe and that way you'll never miss a video

and of course I hope that you enjoy this video.

I hope you guys go out and apply some of the stuff at least for today,

and I will look forward to seeing you in the next video.