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Now I thought I'd share some of my favorite
"weirdest Halloween ever" stories from you guys.
This first one is from @RealAmyJo.
She says, "We rang the bell at a house, and the guy was drunk.
He had no idea it was Halloween.
So he just gave us each a dollar
and then turned off his porch light."
[ Laughter and applause ]
"Am I a pretty emoji?"
[ Light laughter ]
This one's from @cam31.
He says, "Once at the mall, I saw five people
walk into a public restroom dressed as Clark Kent.
Five minutes later, all five of them came out
dressed as Superman."
-Yeah. -Wow, they really planned it.
"Look, it's five birds!
No. They could be five drones."
[ Laughter ]
Just update.
Yeah, update. Just trying to make it modern.
"I'm gonna call an Uber." You're making it modern.
Yeah, making Superman modern.
This one's from @NatalieWild7.
She says, "My friend and I were walking through a haunted house
when a clown jumped out.
My friend freaked out and screamed, 'Not today, biatch,'
and then ran away."
[ Laughter and applause ]
Why go?
Stay in your lane, clown.
[ Laughter ] Unh-unh!
This one's from @GumGummerson.
Oh!
Ol' Gum Gummerson!
-Old Gum Gummerson. -I've been here many years.
I got my prospectin' pan. -Old Gum Gummerson.
Man, get out of here, you -- -Dagnabbit!
What's Gum say?
Gum says, "A trick-or-treater once showed up at my door
in a poncho that had the name John written on it.
When we asked what he was, he replied, 'I'm John.'"
[ Laughter and applause ]
Good costume. -Yeah.
Then Gum gave him some gum.
This one's from @MissLoriT.
-Oh, @MrsLoriT. -Oh, Mrs.
Maybe she's married to Mr. T.
Oh.
-She says -- -I pity the fool.
-What's that? -I pity the fool.
[ Laughter ]
Who's married to Mr. T.
The idea was that Superman used to say, "It's a bird."
"It's a plane. It's Superman."
He didn't say it. The people would say that.
No, humans walking around Metropolis.
Right, would go, "Oh, my gosh,
it's a bird, it's a plane, it's Superman.
Oh, it's a plane. No, it's Superman."
Now you're saying, "Is that a drone?"
That's correct, or is that a -- some type of --
-Person. -A flying --
A remote-control flying thing?
Is that some sort of a flying device?
Maybe Balloon Boy?
And so people say, "Is that a drone or Balloon Boy?"
No, by golly.
-It's just Superman. -In fact, it's just Superman.
Yet again I was tricked.
-You fooled me once again. -You fooled me once again.
[ Laughter ]
Kryptoday and Kryptonite.
[ Laughter ]
Oh, my God.
Whaa! Shwack. Trick or treat.
This one's from @PunkReckless. -Yeah.
She says, "I was dressed as a fortune teller at a party.
A guy asked me to read his palm,
so I told him he'd get drunk and have a good time.
He came back an hour later, told me I was the real deal.
Then he fell over a table."
[ Laughter and applause ]
This last one is from @MattLong1.
He says, "I once got so drunk at a Halloween party
that when I got home, I egged my own house."
There you have it, everybody.
Those are "Tonight Show Hashtags."
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go to tonightshow.com/hashtags.