MyFamilyIsWeird stories from you guys.

This first one is from @Kimjohnston.

He says...

My dad once dumped his chocolate milkshake on the hood of my brother's Jeep because

"if we're going through the car wash, we may as well get our money's worth."

This one's from @lea22089. She says...

My grandmother has fake plants but she likes to use real dirt to make them seem real.

That is weird.

That is weird.

This one's from @Mariabarnes96.

She said...

When we can't find parking at a restaurant, my dad parks in the "Carry Out" parking spots.

He says it still counts because we'll be "carrying out" the food in our stomachs.

Not sexy.

This one's from @garrettsatfield.

I like that name.

Garrett Satfield.

Sounds like somebody I'd be friends with.

I went out to dinner the other night

with Garrett Satfield. -How is Garrett?

He's fantastic as always.

He's just a positive dude, always nice.

-That's good. -Happy -- he's married.

-Wife is lovely. -Wife is great, too.

-Linda is lovely. -Yeah.

We're having the Satfields over for dinner...

-Are you really? -...again

'cause I had so much fun last night.

Oh, my gosh.

I'm going to do it every night of the week.

Oh, my gosh. He's so fun.

You know how much fun he is?

-Who? You talking about GS? -Yeah, GS.

Garrett Man. The gangster.

Yeah, he's fantastic.

Yeah, I just love Garrett Satfield.

Really? How much do you love him?

Well, I mean, I love my wife and my kids.

But above all, Gary Statfield.

He says...

My grandpa liked to sit in his chair with a blanket and no pants.

When he got up, he'd yell, "Red light!" and we'd have to close our eyes.

When he thought we was far enough down the hall, he'd yell, "Green light!"

He was never far enough.

Grandpa!

Grandpa, we're at yellow right now.

Take the blanket with you.

"I'm about to go yellow."

Is that right?

Brown light.

Brown light, that's...

This one's from @Danimichelle.

She says...

When I was learning to parallel park, my dad used my sister and brother as traffic cones.

Yay, dad. Get your money's worth.

Now we learn how to drive to the hospital.

Here we go.

This one's from @etess97. She says...

I once heard my grandparents giggling upstairs and when I walked past their bedroom,

I saw them wearing each others' dentures.

What?

How would you know?

I mean, they're not even my grandparents,

and I want to unsee that.

Oh, green light!

The last one's from @crusty316. He says...

To save money my dad used to bring us to the Disney section at Toys 'R Us and say, "Welcome to Disneyland!"

There you have it.

Those are our "Tonight Show hashtags."

To check out more of our favorites,

go to tonightshow.com/hashtags.