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  • -I was running a bit behind.

  • I can write some right now? Is that cool?

  • [ Cheers and applause ]

  • Thank you so much.

  • Hey, Kamal, can I have some

  • thank-you-note-writing music, please?

  • [ Laughter ]

  • [ Cheers and applause ] Go for it.

  • Mm-hmm. You got any?

  • [ Cheerful music plays ]

  • No, that's -- Enough, man.

  • [ Stammers ] James, can I get some

  • thank-you-note-writing music, please?

  • Sorry about that. I apologize.

  • [ Somber music plays ]

  • -Oh, man. Now you made him mad. -I upset him a little.

  • -Yeah.

  • -That's usually not how he -- -That's not Champaign James.

  • -Not Champaign James. -No.

  • [ Air horn sounds ] -Champaign James!

  • Champaign James!

  • Champaign James, Champaign James

  • Champaign James, Champaign James

  • Champaign James, Champaign James

  • [ Air horn blows ]

  • Champaign James presents "Champaign Jams."

  • [ Air horn blows ]

  • [ Laughter ]

  • ♪♪

  • Thank you, Kanye and Trump,

  • for meeting at the White House this week.

  • It's the long-awaited sit-down

  • between the guy who wrote "poopy-di scoop"

  • and the guy with toilet paper stuck to his shoe.

  • Wait a minute.

  • [ Laughter, applause ]

  • ♪♪

  • Thank you, Google, for shutting down Google Plus.

  • I think I speak for everyone when I say,

  • "What was Google Plus? What was it?"

  • [ Laughter, cheers ] Was that a thing?

  • I didn't know what it was.

  • ♪♪

  • Thank you, hot apple cider.

  • You're perfect for people who like apple juice

  • but really wish you could burn

  • all the skin off the inside of their mouths.

  • [ Laughter, applause ] -Mm, ah, ah, ah, ah!

  • [ Sizzles ]

  • ♪♪

  • -Thank you, fancy bathroom soap that's just for guests,

  • even though whenever I see you at someone's house,

  • I'm still like, "Oh, I shouldn't use it.

  • That's just for guests."

  • [ Laughter, applause ] Oh, I'm the guest.

  • Molton -- Molton Brown? -[ Laughs ]

  • -Wow. -Wow.

  • Now, that's a soap. [ Laughter ]

  • ♪♪

  • Thank you, clogs, for combining the frumpiness of slippers

  • with all the discomfort

  • of having a cutting board strapped to your foot.

  • [ Laughter, applause ] -Ooh.

  • -Hardwood. Yes? -Yeah.

  • -This is comfortable? -[ Chuckles ]

  • -And having a good time? -A good time? These are good?

  • Would I?

  • ♪♪

  • -Thank you, Burger King,

  • for your new deal offering 10 chicken nuggets for a dollar,

  • 'cause nothing says "quality food"

  • like paying for meat with a handful of dimes.

  • [ Laughter, applause ]

  • -Eh.

  • ♪♪

  • -Thank you, cobwebs,

  • for saying, "You know what's spooky?

  • How rarely I clean."

  • [ Laughter, applause ]

  • ♪♪

  • Thank you, Frontier Airlines flight

  • that was delayed this week when a passenger tried to bring

  • an emotional squirrel onboard.

  • Wait for it. Wait for it.

  • That was nuts.

  • And there you are. Thank you very much.

  • Those are my thank you notes.

-I was running a bit behind.

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A2 US TheTonightShow james laughter laughter applause applause air horn

Thank You Notes: Kanye and Trump, Hot Apple Cider

  • 617 9
    Emily posted on 2018/10/16
Video vocabulary