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  • -Do people recognize you now, after "Mr. Robot," everywhere?

  • -Yeah. Yeah.

  • I mean, I was on the subway the other day,

  • and someone stopped me --

  • Well, they stopped my friend and they go, "You know,

  • he looks a lot like that guy,

  • that actor from ´Mr. RobotRami Malek."

  • And she was about to start.

  • And I said, "That guy?"

  • And she´s like, "Yeah, yeah.

  • Yeah, you look a lot like him. You don´t get that?"

  • And I said, "No, I don´t.

  • That guy? He´s just -- He´s not me.

  • He´s not my type, he´s arrogant, he´s got an attitude problem.

  • I think he´s kind of a dick. I´ve met him once.

  • Not a nice guy." [ Laughter ]

  • -You met him once. -Yeah. Yeah.

  • And she kept going on.

  • She´s like, "No, no, no, I think he´s really sweet."

  • And I´m like, "No, trust me. This guy has an attitude issue."

  • And then I just -- It´s the first time

  • you get a candid kind of response from someone.

  • You don´t have that experience. -Well, it´s kind of fun.

  • Yeah. -Right?

  • -But then she said she loved you.

  • -Yeah. She said she loved me,

  • and then once I found out more,

  • I convinced her to just stay on the subway a little bit longer

  • and go past her stop and just keep complimenting me.

  • [ Laughter ]

  • Then I showed her my ID by the end of it,

  • because I go, "You know what? It is me."

  • -"It is me," yeah. -And she looks

  • and she just stares at it, and she goes,

  • "What are you doing riding the subway?"

  • [ Laughter ]

  • -Oh, I take the subway.

  • -Yeah, like, I´m gonna take the subway

  • for the rest of my life. -Exactly.

  • -Yeah. -Yeah.

  • You have a story about almost getting fired.

  • The lasagna story.

  • -Oh, yes. -I like this story.

  • I think it has a good -- I think it has a good point.

  • -Well, they were asking me about summer jobs I had,

  • and I remember when i was 16, I was doing a catering thing.

  • I had to carry about seven lasagnas

  • up to a doctor´s conference room

  • because someone was trying to sell them pharmaceuticals,

  • a pharmaceutical rep.

  • And I got up there

  • with these eight scalding-hot lasagnas.

  • And it´s like that cartoon character

  • where they´re all teetering on top.

  • And I finally get to the conference table,

  • and one of them slightly starts to go.

  • I´m trying to hold on, and it splatters

  • all over the doctor´s office conference room.

  • -Ooh. -And so I´m horrified.

  • I´m, like, 16. You know, my first job.

  • The world feels like it´s gonna end.

  • And this pharmaceutical rep

  • who´s, you know, a little bit older in her age

  • just kind of looks at me sternly,

  • and I think it´s over.

  • And she just looks at me

  • and she hands me a spatula and she goes,

  • "Scoop it up. Put it right back in there.

  • They´ll never know." [ Laughter ]

  • And...she goes, "It´s a doctor´s office.

  • We´re in a hospital. Everything is sanitized anyway."

  • And I looked up at her, and I was like,

  • "Is she being serious right now?

  • Is she for real?"

  • But then we both scooped it up together,

  • and it was like this life-affirming moment of,

  • "Everything´s gonna be all right.

  • [ Laughter ] -Exactly.

  • Don´t cry over spilled lasagna. -Yeah, exactly.

  • -Exactly, yeah.

  • Everything´s gonna be okay. -Yeah.

-Do people recognize you now, after "Mr. Robot," everywhere?

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B1 US TheTonightShow subway lasagna laughter conference hospital

Rami Malek Served Doctors Lasagna off a Hospital Floor

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    zaphiel posted on 2018/10/11
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