I've got my coffee, my orientation packet,

and my awesome Wi-Fi from Xfinity making sure nothing goes wrong.

Now I just gotta figure out what to take.

Let's see here! The English Department

Good morrow, Jennifer. Come to learn more about English.

Well venture no further. Spend your days reciting poetry

and debating which shades of blue represent melancholy.

Spoiler alert! It's the muted ones.

Well, I love to read and I do wish more people notice that about me.

And notice they shall! For each day in the English department

brings a new chance to opine openly on the wonders of Chaucer.

Or to add a page to your next great American novel

Give me a break! People aren't going to read the next great American novel.

They're gonna watch it.

We're in the golden age of television, kid.

That's why you gotta take Media Studies

Yeah and maybe I could take a class where I can make a movie.

Movie? Real artists call them films.

Real artists pay no attention to either.

Real artists only write and perform sonnets.

Okay okay, well maybe I should learn a more practical skill

something that could lead to a stable job.

College is a time to expand your mind.

Do you really think that Shakespeare worried about jobs?

Don't listen to them, Jenny.

Computer Science? I don't remember looking this up.

Yeah, I just hacked into the mainframe.

Really? Nah, you just forgot you open this tab.

But tech is so hot right now

Computer Science can help you get an internship at one of those places.

where they ride around on scooters and have indoor slide.

Why settle for being tech support when you could be the face of the company?

In the business school, professors come straight from the boardroom to the classroom.

Cute. What do you even learn in business classes? Spreadsheet maintenance?

Not exactly. Studying business will help you with the three Ms.

Money, making connections and moving out of your parents house.

Whoop! I want all those things.

And so do my parents. Wow!

Sorry, hope my quest for the cure to every disease ever

didn't interrupt Little Miss Pyramid scheme over there.

Kinda straight, huh?

Well, I do love Science... - What's not to love?

You spend all day in a lab starting small but contained fires.

and then one day Boom! You just made a vaccine that's gonna save half the world.

And what is this world? (Oh)

This world we speak of, do humans need to save it?

Or it's from ourselves? - Ugh, yes? No.

Yes, exactly. Yes. No. These are the profound questions you'll ask yourself.

You study Philosophy.

Don't listen to this Plato wannabe. Study Computer Science

and you can invent an app that invents other Apps for you.

Or you could pick me and save the world from the next epidemic.

No, pick me and save the world from the next epidemic of bad cinema.

You can make money with me.

You can read books all day with me.

You can read all day with me, too.

What about money? - What even is money, you know?

Jenny, Jenny. Over here. Jenny, come on. Stop! -Done.

Alright, Jenny, what would you pick?

All of you. I can be undecided until sophomore year. See you guys in the Fall!

Hey, you guys want to come watch TV?

There's so many films on demand.

Oh yeah. Sure. One second. Just got a smaller smoke of chemical fire.