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  • ELLEN DEGENERES: And I don't know if you know this,

  • but Apple just made a new announcement

  • of their new products.

  • They did a keynote speech yesterday.

  • And I don't have any so don't get excited.

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • I'm just going to talk about it.

  • I don't have any.

  • They haven't even sent me anything yet.

  • But in case you missed it I'm going

  • to give you some highlights of what they're doing.

  • This is the new Apple Watch right here.

  • And it is fancy.

  • It has all kinds of features on it, like crazy features.

  • There's a cool feature called Fall Detection, which

  • I thought was at first like it lets

  • you know when autumn is here.

  • But Starbucks does that when they come out

  • with their Pumpkin Lattes.

  • So this watch will make an emergency call

  • if you trip and have a big fall.

  • This is-- yes, it somehow knows if you fall, trip, or slip.

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • Those are what happens.

  • And so what happens is the watch calls an ambulance

  • and then the ambulance brings you a new watch.

  • [LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

  • This guy doesn't look like he's falling down.

  • I don't know what this is.

  • That's just walking.

  • I don't know.

  • Anyway, the new watch has the ability to run an EKG.

  • Which I thought was a new kind of dance music.

  • But apparently it stands for electrocardiogram

  • and you used to have to go to the doctor for one.

  • But now, you can do it with your watch.

  • How about that?

  • But your watch does charge you a $40 co-pay, so--

  • Here's the new Apple phone.

  • And this is called the iPhone 10S Max.

  • And the screen is an inch bigger,

  • at least that's what they tell the ladies.

  • [LAUGHTER] The phone is powered by the A12 bionic,

  • which is the smartest and most powerful chip ever.

  • So take that, Pringles!

  • They've also improved the water resistance on it,

  • and not only did they test it with water,

  • they tested it with beer and wine.

  • So now your phone won't get damaged,

  • but Siri will slur her words when she's talking to you.

  • And she'll text your ex at 3 AM for no reason.

  • So to review, the watch will call someone when you fall down

  • and the phone resistant to beer and wine.

  • So it seems like Apple is designing products specifically

  • for people with drinking problems.

ELLEN DEGENERES: And I don't know if you know this,

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