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  • Now, I thought I'd share

  • some of my favorite #WhyIQuit stories from you guys.

  • This first one's from @soupymcsoupface.

  • [ Laughter ]

  • He says, "My boss refused to correct my name badge which said 'Brain' instead of 'Brian.' He said, 'You're Brain now, so deal with it.'"

  • [ Laughter and applause ]

  • Right? Okay, Brain?

  • Nope. Now I'm Soupy McSoupface.

  • Yeah.

  • I'll show-

  • I'll show him, yeah.

  • [ Laughter ]

  • "You call me Brain, man?"

  • "You can't call me Brain at all, man."

  • "Call me Soupy McSoupface."

  • This one is from @toshoonly.

  • Toshoonly.

  • "To," like t-o.

  • Like "too shoon"?

  • Toshoon.

  • -It's been too shoon. -Too shoon. Too soon.

  • [ Laughter ]

  • She says, "My boss made me give him piggyback rides after we mopped the floors every night so there would be fewer footprints."

  • [ Laughter and applause ]

  • What?!

  • Giddy-up! Giddy-up!

  • Let's go! Come on! -Come on, Brain!

  • [ Percussion imitating hoofbeats ]

  • What in the world? "Come on, Brain!"

  • "Don't be slippin' on that wet floor! Piso mojado!"

  • [ Laughter ]

  • This one's from @brennancarrow.

  • She says, "I babysat this kid who kept pointing at me and saying, 'You're next.' After the fourth time, I gave my two weeks notice."

  • [ Laughter and applause ]

  • You're next.

  • [ Deep voice ] You're next.

  • [ Gravelly voice ] Redrum, Mrs. Torrance.

  • [ Laughter ]

  • This one's from @kschmooze.

  • [ Laughter ]

  • -That's her real last name. -Yeah, that's her last name.

  • -Yeah, Schmooze. -Kathryn Schmooze.

  • Kathryn Schmooze.

  • [ Laughter ]

  • She says,"My old job had a phone in the restroom. Our boss would call it if he thought you'd been in there too long."

  • Oh! Come on, man.

  • -That's not good. -What? Come on, dude.

  • Come on, man.

  • This one's from @johnathanyoung.

  • He said, "My boss asked if I had a knife to open a box. I gave her one. I was later written up for having a knife at work."

  • Come on. That's entrapment!

  • Come on, that's catch-22.

  • [ Laughter ]

  • Hey, Brain, you got a knife?

  • Yeah, yeah, Brain.

  • This one's from @yzracer81.

  • He says, "I made a mistake at work and my boss called me up to chew me out. At the end of the conversation he made me say, 'I've been a bad boy.'"

  • I don't -- I don't know.

  • That wasn't about work.

  • [ Laughs ]

  • - I don't know, man. -Yeah.

  • This one is from @captainharris1.

  • He says, "I worked at a convenience store for one day. I quit when I saw the instructions for 'what to do when you get robbed.' Not 'if' - 'WHEN.'"

  • This place gets robbed?

  • -A lot. -I'm getting out of here.

  • [ Applause ]

  • Last one's from @verambassi.

  • She says, "Instead of hitting the 1 key for the number of copies, I typed 1111 and couldn't make the printer stop. I left before they finished."

  • I'm taking off. There you have it.

  • Those are our "Tonight Show" hashtags.

  • To check out more of our favorites,

  • go to

Now, I thought I'd share

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A2 US TheTonightShow laughter brain boss kathryn knife

Hashtags: #WhyIQuit

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    kiki posted on 2018/08/30
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