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  • [Bulma reading the above]

  • [WARNING: These subtitles contain added awesomeness. If you want the clean captions, please select the English option. Ta-ta~]

  • BULMA: Hey, Yamcha!

  • Thanks for coming by and picking up the rest of your stuff.

  • YAMCHA: Hey, no problem! [Bulma goes through more hairstyle changes than Goku does transformations.]

  • I mean... didn't have to, y'know... throw out most of it... [Bulma goes through more hairstyle changes than Goku does transformations.]

  • BULMA: Eh, you were dead and it was taking up space.

  • OOLONG: Much like your corpse.

  • YAMCHA: Ha ha! Ah... where did you bury me anyway?

  • BULMA: Bury?

  • [Flies buzzing]

  • OOLONG: So, Bulma, how's the single life treating you?

  • BULMA: It's been nice actually, had a dream about Vegeta last night--

  • YAMCHA: You slut!

  • BULMA: We were walking in a park!

  • YAMCHA: You slut!

  • BULMA: OK, first off, we're not even dating!

  • Second of all, I don't even like him. [Right...]

  • Third, he's probably running out of fuel soon, so God knows if he'll ever make it back here.

  • {BOOM}

  • VEGETA [off-screen]: I'M BACK, BITCHES!

  • [♫ "Cha-La Head-Cha-La" ♫]

  • CHA-LA HEAD-CHA-LA

  • Egao urutora zetto de ♫ (With a smile that's Ultra-Z)

  • Kyô mo ai-yai-yai-yai-yai~ ♫ (Even today is ai-yai-yai-yai-yai~)

  • Sparking! [fading echo] ♫

  • MILF: Sweetie, roll out the cot! I think we have a visitor!

  • DR. BRIEF [o-s]: Is he colored?!

  • MILF: I'm not sure, I never open my eyes!

  • YAMCHA: Hey! You've got a lot of nerve coming back here!

  • VEGETA: Oh, a valet. Neat. I'm not tipping.

  • VALET: Don't you remember who I am?! We fought when you landed on Earth!

  • VEGETA: No, I fought Kakarot. *Nappa* fought everyone else.

  • Well, except for that one scrub who got killed by a Saiba--

  • Hahaha!

  • Hahaha! Ahahahahaha!

  • Hahaha! Ahahahahaha! AHAHAHAHAhahaha!

  • Hahaha! Ahahahahaha! AHAHAHAHAhahaha! YAMCHA: Oh, yeah?! I dare you to come over here and laugh at me!

  • YAMCHA: Oh, yeah?! I dare you to come over here and laugh at me!

  • VEGETA: Ha...

  • VEGETA: Ha... ha...

  • VEGETA: Ha... ha... ha.

  • YAMCHA [pissing himself]: Yeah, see, now we can laugh together?

  • BULMA: OK, seriously, we have enough to clean up without a pool of Yamcha's urine.

  • You, come with me.

  • VEGETA: What? Why?

  • BULMA: Because you need a shower! I could smell you from East City.

  • VEGETA: (Grumbling)... Pacific Ci-- smell you from East City... (grumbling) [Where did the holes in the front of his armor go?]

  • VEGETA: (Grumbling)... Pacific Ci-- smell you from East City... (grumbling) YAMCHA: 'Yeah, you better run...'

  • BULMA: Hey, I'm setting out some new clothes for you, and I'm gonna wash your armor! [I don't think a wash is gonna fix the gaping holes in them.]

  • VEGETA: Fine, but be careful! Those are dry clean only!

  • BULMA: Whatever.

  • VEGETA [o-s]: No, seriously, they lose their elasticity!

  • [Door shuts]

  • ...Hello?

  • KRILLIN: So... Vegeta's living here now?

  • That's neat.

  • YAMCHA: The man single-handedly responsible for murdering most of the entire gang is taking a shower in the other room.

  • "Neat" is not the first word that comes to mind.

  • BULMA: OK, so I just got a look at Vegeta's ass, and besides being surprisingly nice, he's got this weird hole.

  • WANNABE SMARTASS: Uh, yeah, even boys have those, Bulma.

  • BULMA: No, you idiot! I mean a hole *above* that one!

  • IDIOT: ...You mean he's a chick??

  • VEGETA [o-s]: Earth-woman! Where's the cleansing powder?

  • BULMA: We don't have that here, we have soap!

  • VEGETA [o-s]: The hell is "soap"?

  • BULMA: It's that yellow block there made of animal fat!

  • VEGETA [o-s]: That sounds *awesome*!

  • {CHOMP}

  • Blah! This tastes nothing like what you just said!

  • YAMCHA: OK, I change my mind, this *is* pretty neat.

  • VEGETA [o-s]: Is that the beta male?!

  • BULMA: No! Krillin just got here!

  • VEGETA [o-s]: Oh *God*, they're *breeding*!

  • I swear, the only thing I hate more than weaklings, is the color pink!

  • [Sounds of Vegeta getting out of the shower]

  • AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!

  • KING COLD: There it is...

  • The home of the brute who dared lay hands on my darling little angel. [Little angel?]

  • FREEZA (cyborg voice): Yes, Daddy.

  • KING COLD: What a pretty little blue pearl it is.

  • What was it called? "Ee-arth"?

  • FREEZA: Actually, it's pronounced "Earth", Daddy-Daddy-Daddy-Daddy.

  • {BZZZT} [Hit Ctrl-Alt-Del.] FREEZA: Actually, it's pronounced "Earth", Daddy-Daddy-Daddy-Daddy.

  • KING COLD: Really? But there's an "A" in it.

  • I'm just going to keep calling it Ee-arth.

  • FREEZA: It doesn't really matter anyway. Soon, it'll have a brand new name...

  • *Vacant Lot*!

  • VEGETA: Son of a BITCH!

  • YAMCHA: What, still ticked off about the shirt?

  • VEGETA [not tickled pink]: No, I'm-- well, yes actually, I'm absolutely livid. But that's not the point!

  • That idiot Kakarot *failed*! Freeza's *still alive*! [Does that *really* surprise you? He let *you* live.]

  • TIEN: Chiaotzu... do you feel that?

  • There are two enormous power levels approaching the planet.

  • CHIAOTZU: Yeah, see, last time this happened...

  • I blew myself up.

  • TIEN: Yeah, I was gonna ask you to hold off on that this time. [But what if he wants the Sundae?]

  • PICCOLO [o-s]: RAAAAAAAAAaargh!

  • NAIL: 'See, now we just have to carve out an area and then we'll start building the hi--'

  • 'eyyy, do you feel that?'

  • PICCOLO: Freeza?! NOOOOOOOOOooooo!!

  • NAIL: 'OK, I'm right here! Please stop yelling!' PICCOLO: Freeza?! NOOOOOOOOOooooo!!

  • KRILLIN [via phone]: Oh God, Gohan!

  • KRILLIN [via phone]: Oh God, Gohan! It's him it's him

  • KRILLIN [via phone]: Oh God, Gohan! It's him it's him it's him it's him

  • KRILLIN [via phone]: Oh God, Gohan! It's him it's him it's him it's him it's him it's him

  • KRILLIN [via phone]: Oh God, Gohan! It's him it's him it's him it's him it's him it's him it's him it's him

  • KRILLIN [via phone]: Oh God, Gohan! It's him it's him it's him it's him it's him it's him it's him it's him it's him it's him

  • KRILLIN [via phone]: Oh God, Gohan! It's him it's him it's him it's him it's him it's him it's him it's him it's him it's him it's him it's him!

  • GOHAN: Krillin, calm down! Now are you sure it's him?

  • KRILLIN: Gohan, once you've had a man inside of you...

  • ...you know when he's coming. [Oh my~]

  • GOHAN: Mom! Where's my Saiyan suit?!

  • VEGETA: Woman! Where is my Saiyan suit?!

  • CHI-CHI [o-s]: It's under your bed!

  • GOHAN: Thank you!

  • BULMA [o-s]: It's in the wash!

  • VEGETA: You bitch!

  • Alright, judging by how quickly his power level is closing in, he should be here in about--

  • YAMCHA: Hey, so I need to talk to you about Bulma!

  • VEGETA: You cannot be serious!

  • YAMCHA: Look, we're not dating anymore, but still, she's a really close friend and--

  • VEGETA [incredulous]: You are actually doing this right now.

  • BULMA: Hey, guys!

  • VEGETA: Oh, great! And she's here too!

  • Why don't all you idiots just start showing up?! [Be careful what you wish for...]

  • KRILLIN: Hey, Vegeta! [...]

  • VEGETA [o-s]: I was f*cking *kidding*! [...you might get it. ;)]

  • YAMCHA: Tenshinhan! Chiaotzu!

  • TIEN: Huh, looks like we got here in time.

  • Oh hey... Vegeta.

  • VEGETA: What?

  • TIEN: Nice shirt.

  • VEGETA: And there it is!

  • Now all we need is the Namekian and we'll have the whole potpourri of pathetic.

  • PICCOLO: Uh, been here the whole time, actually.

  • VEGETA: Oh, what do you want? A medal?

  • PICCOLO: ...Nice shirt.

  • VEGETA: Kiss my ass, green man.

  • PICCOLO: Yeah, it's the kind of shirt that really screams--

  • HUH...!

  • HE'S COMING!

  • KRILLIN: He's landing over there!

  • PICCOLO [o-s]: Wait, now he's pulling back.

  • KRILLIN: No, now he's--

  • Going back that way...

  • What's he doing?

  • FREEZA [via speaker]: Daddy, we can park anywhere we want! [Or... you can just blow up Earth from space.]

  • KING COLD [vs]: Now, son, if this is anything like that jockstrap incident, we don't want to get boxed in. [After all, that plan worked perfectly with Planet Vegeta.]

  • KRILLIN: So has anyone else noticed that there are *two* power levels around the same strength on that ship?

  • VEGETA: Yeah, it's probably his dad.

  • YAMCHA: He has a father?!

  • PICCOLO: Makes sense. Everyone has a dad.

  • ...'Ceeept me.

  • VEGETA: Ha! Your dad's dead!

  • PICCOLO: So's yours!

  • VEGETA [o-s]: HA!

  • GOHAN: So, essentially, we have two opponents of equal strength that my father could only beat after fulfilling an ancient alien prophecy.

  • Does anyone in particular know exactly what we're doing here besides trying not to lose it?!

  • YAMCHA [losing it]: Guys, we are so screwed! I don't know what we're gonna do! I mean this is completely crazy! Why did I come here again?! We're going to die!

  • I'm gonna die again! I don't wanna die again! Dying once is bad enough! Oh go-ha-hah! KRILLIN: You know, if he weren't doing it... I would.

  • I'm gonna die again! I don't wanna die again! Dying once is bad enough! Oh go-ha-hah! KRILLIN: You know, if he weren't doing it... I would.

  • I'm gonna die again! I don't wanna die again! Dying once is bad enough! Oh go-ha-hah! KRILLIN: You know, if he weren't doing it... I would.

  • VEGETA: We don't need Kakarot or anyone else.

  • You have enough badass Saiyan on your team as it is.

  • Now if you'll excuse me, you all can just sit on your hands while I go up there and take care of business.

  • GOHAN: Or - maybe we could hide our power levels, sneak closer to them, survey the situation from up close, and, perhaps, catch them by surprise?

  • JUICY: Y'all are bitches.

  • KING COLD: Well, son, is this what you were expecting?

  • FREEZA: My God, this is droll.

  • We're so far out in the space sti-ti-ti-ticks, there's not even a space Radioshack,

  • much less a space Best Buy-Buy-Buy-Buy--

  • {BZZZT} much less a space Best Buy-Buy-Buy-Buy--

  • Circuit City.

  • KING COLD: Are you alright?

  • FREEZA: Yes, Daddy, just processing.

  • KING COLD: And wouldn't you know it, no place to buy more RAM!

  • FREEZA: But I won't lie, Daddy. I'm absolutely ecstatic.

  • When that filthy monkey arrives back on the planet, he'll return not to the smiling faces of his dear friends and family...

  • but a Total. Unadulterated. *Genocide*!

  • Speaking of which... Soldiers! The scavenger hunt will proceed as such:

  • * Normal human heads are worth one point.

  • * Normal human heads are worth one point. * Namekian heads are worth twenty.

  • * Normal human heads are worth one point. * Namekian heads are worth twenty. * Filthy half-Saiyan brats, fifty!

  • And if you find any miserable,

  • And if you find any miserable, odious,

  • And if you find any miserable, odious, insubordinate,

  • And if you find any miserable, odious, insubordinate, full-blooded

  • And if you find any miserable, odious, insubordinate, full-blooded monkey

  • And if you find any miserable, odious, insubordinate, full-blooded monkey garbage... [Making the assumption that Vegeta would actually be here?]

  • you win!

  • Well, off you go!

  • MOOKS: Yes, sir!

  • [Cue fangirl squeeing everywhere]

  • (???): So...

  • how many points are those?

  • YAMCHA: [Spends 27 m̶i̶n̶u̶t̶e̶s̶ seconds shitting himself]

  • FAULERRO: I-- that literally devolved into nonsense.

[Bulma reading the above]

Subtitles and vocabulary

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