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  • Welcome to Gospel Solutions for Families.

  • I'm your host, Amy Iverson.

  • The scriptures remind us over and over to wait upon the Lord.

  • Former Apostle Elder Neal A. Maxwell put it this way:

  • "Faith in God includes faith in His timing."

  • If you've ever wondered about the Lord's timing in your life,

  • you'll want to join us today.

  • I'll be talking with Lisa Lund.

  • In 2004, Lisa married Russell Lund.

  • Today, hanging on a sign in Lisa's home is this quote:

  • "Once in a while, right in the middle of an ordinary life,

  • love gives you a fairy tale."

  • Lisa's fairy tale didn't come the way she expected.

  • Her fairy tale took faith in the Lord's timing.

  • So Lisa, you, growing up, I feel like,

  • had a very early dose of thinking fairy tales happen.

  • And a big part of that was because of your parents--

  • Absolutely.

  • --even the way they joined the Church.

  • Tell that story.

  • My parents met at Bradley University in Peoria, Illinois.

  • And when they got to the point where

  • they were deciding that they wanted to get married,

  • my dad asked my mom, "Would you investigate the Mormon Church

  • with me?"

  • And my mom said, "Yes, I'd be happy to do that,

  • as long as you would investigate the Catholic church."

  • That's fair.

  • She had been raised Catholic; he really

  • hadn't been raised with religion.

  • But the story goes back 10 years earlier,

  • when my dad with his family came from Illinois.

  • And they went across the United States

  • just on a summer vacation.

  • And my grandma really wanted to see the Mormon Tabernacle

  • Choir, so they stopped at Temple Square.

  • And as they were finishing that tour,

  • and they were leaving to get back in their car,

  • my grandma tells the story that my dad, at 14,

  • turned around and said, "I don't know about the rest of you,

  • but someday I'm going to be a Mormon."

  • Just from the Mormon Tabernacle Choir.

  • Yes, just from being on Temple Square, the Spirit he felt.

  • It was 10 years later that that conversation

  • happened with my parents as to, would my mom

  • investigate the Church.

  • And my mom tells the story that when the missionaries were

  • talking to them, instantly my dad knew

  • he wanted to join the Church.

  • My mom was a little bit more hesitant.

  • She calls herself more of the stubborn side

  • of the relationship.

  • And it wasn't until they started talking about families being

  • together forever--she said that's when the Spirit told her

  • this was right.

  • And they were married in 1959 in the Peoria, Illinois, church.

  • And it was about three years after that when my sister

  • and I--Lynn was two and a half; I would have been one

  • and a half--that they came to Utah and we were sealed

  • as a family.

  • And what's really special about that is,

  • your mom really must have been close to the Spirit

  • to have the fact of forever families

  • be the thing that touched her, because of a tragedy that

  • happened later.

  • Right, it was.

  • When I was nine, I had just finished the third grade.

  • And it had been the best year ever,

  • that when I finished school, Mrs.

  • Jimas, my third-grade teacher, had written on my report card,

  • "When this little girl goes, a part of my heart

  • goes with her."

  • And I felt the same way about her.

  • It had been the best year.

  • And we were planning our annual summer vacation

  • to go back to Illinois.

  • We had moved to Utah, and we were

  • planning our summer vacation to go back to Illinois.

  • And my dad left for work on June 1, and he never came home.

  • He was killed in a car accident.

  • And overnight our world went from being,

  • I would consider, perfect to "What's going to happen now?"

  • My mom had four little kids--a 10-year-old, a 9-year-old,

  • a 6-year-old, and a 3-month-old.

  • It had only been four years before that

  • that they had moved from Illinois to Utah.

  • My dad had been recruited by ZCMI

  • to come out and be in charge of their advertising department.

  • And now she was left with four little kids,

  • and the closest relative was 1,500 miles away.

  • But they had made the decision to raise their family in Utah,

  • and she stayed.

  • She had the faith to know this is where

  • she wanted to raise her family.

  • The morning after the accident, she gathered the four of us

  • together and told us what had happened.

  • And you think of someone, 34 years old--she had been

  • a stay-at-home mom for 12 years, and instantly her world was

  • turned upside down.

  • And she had the faith to gather her little family

  • and kneel down and pray for the years

  • we had been together as a family and that we all

  • needed to live our lives that someday we

  • can be reunited again.

  • Well, she became your hero.

  • Absolutely, absolutely.

  • And now she's 81 years old, this cute little

  • short Italian woman.

  • And she is.

  • She is one of my greatest heroes.

  • So an eventful childhood for your family.

  • And as you grew older, your mom played

  • another role when we're talking about fairy tales,

  • because your sister became engaged, your younger sister.

  • My older sister.

  • Oh, your older sister, OK.

  • And your mom was a little worried about money.

  • So tell that wedding dress story, because that is a hoot.

  • Yes.

  • Lynn and Kirby got engaged.

  • And Lynn and I are just 14 months apart in age.

  • And my mom told us that she was on a tight budget.

  • And she knew we would be getting married close together,

  • and so we needed to pick out a wedding dress together.

  • And so we went shopping together,

  • found a beautiful wedding dress that Lynn

  • wore when she got married.

  • That was in 1981.

  • I got married in 2004.

  • [LAUGHS] So you didn't wear the dress.

  • So not only was the dress not in style,

  • but I couldn't have fit in it.

  • So that's in your 20s, when your sister gets married.

  • And in my life, anyway, that's when most of my friends

  • were married.

  • That's college time.

  • Exactly.

  • And it didn't happen for you in your 20s.

  • What were you feeling at that time?

  • You know what?

  • There are choices and consequences

  • that come from those choices.

  • And a big part of it is because of choices I had made.

  • And I think that I can look back and say, "I wish."

  • But my life was a wonderful life.

  • I've had wonderful opportunities.

  • I never looked at it as, "Why me?"

  • There were times--a dear friend of mine called me up and told

  • me that she was engaged.

  • And I was so excited for her, but I said,

  • "Let me call you back."

  • I hung up the phone, and I cried.

  • Not--I was so excited for her.

  • But it was one more friend getting married, and I wasn't.

  • And I think part of it was choices, consequences,

  • and feeling like, "Have I put the Atonement in place

  • for myself?"

  • And did you realize that was the case in your 20s?

  • Or has that come over time?

  • I think it's come over time, to realize

  • that I needed to be able to put the past behind me,

  • that I had been forgiven of things.

  • But had I forgiven myself?

  • Had I realized that the Atonement was not just

  • for everyone else, but for me?

  • And so you felt like that was a barrier

  • to you and relationships.

  • Absolutely.

  • So in your 20s, you had a little conflict of emotion,

  • it sounds like.

  • And then your 30s came, and you still

  • hadn't found the love of your life.

  • Right.

  • And so in your 30s, how did your mindset change?

  • Or did it?

  • Do you know what?

  • A lot of it was "Maybe this is not going to happen,

  • and I can be happy anyway.

  • I can move forward with my life."

  • I have two wonderful sisters that

  • let me be a second mom to them.

  • And in fact, I have in my home a cross-stitch that my sister did

  • that says, "Few of us will reach our potential

  • without the mother who bore us and the mothers who

  • bear with us."

  • And that's a quote by Sheri Dew.

  • And the little plaque at the bottom

  • says, "To our second mom, Lisa," and then, "Love, Jared, Jordan,

  • Abby, Justin, John, Michaela, and Olivia."

  • And they were my kids.

  • And I just appreciate so much my sisters,

  • who let me be such a huge part of their children's lives.

  • I also decided to build a little home in a family neighborhood.

  • I had been attending singles wards for years,

  • and I thought, "If I'm going to move into a neighborhood,

  • I need to get involved with the family ward."

  • And that's scary when you're in your early 30s, you're single,

  • and you move into a ward that's a lot of young families.

  • But I went into that.

  • Everyone was strangers.

  • And when I did leave, 10 years later, I left family.

  • I left--

  • Now, that's an amazing attitude, because I think a lot

  • of people, when they're single, whatever the circumstances

  • are--the Church focuses on family, family, marriage a lot.

  • Absolutely.

  • And it could be very easy for you to have sat in a corner

  • in the back--I know people who have done this--and keep

  • to yourself.

  • So what was it that made you have that oomph to get out

  • there and be involved?

  • I think the first thing is, from the time I was young,

  • I love kids.

  • I love children.

  • I was the babysitter.

  • And when my nieces and nephews were born, I loved children.

  • And so instead of feeling sorry for myself

  • that this was a part of my life I did not have,

  • I embraced that so many wonderful mothers

  • allowed me to be a big part of their children's lives.

  • Being in a neighborhood where the families were young--two

  • bishops served, that their wives had three and four young kids.

  • I sat next to them, and those children

  • became my children also.

  • That's wonderful.

  • I have a cute story to tell, that Tyler,

  • when he was about eight years old, said to his mom,

  • "Mom, do you think Lisa would wait till I got home

  • from my mission?"

  • [CHUCKLES]

  • And I was in my mid-30s at the time.

  • Tyler now is happily married and such a wonderful young man.

  • But there are so many children out there now

  • who have grown up that I consider mine also.

  • You mothered in your own way.

  • Yes.

  • So you are full of joy and seem to have

  • this wonderful, positive attitude about everything.

  • But was there ever times--because I think a lot

  • of people are in this situation or similar ones--where you did

  • feel alone or where you felt maybe God had forgotten you

  • a little bit?

  • Yes.

  • I felt like there were times, more, I hadn't forgiven myself.

  • So how could God love me?

  • How could He want the best for me?

  • And I call them my chocolate chip cookie days,

  • where I would make a batch of chocolate chip cookies

  • and I would lay in bed, pull the covers over my head,

  • and just feel sorry for myself.

  • But then, I'm a half-glass-full person.

  • I would wake up the next day and count my blessings.

  • And there are so many things in my life

  • that I feel like, if I would have been married in my 20s,

  • I would have missed out on.

  • Not the thought of being a mother myself.

  • There is no one who calls me Mom.

  • But there are a lot of children who call me Aunt Lisa.

  • I have three beautiful stepchildren who I adore.

  • And there are six babies out there that call me Nana.

  • It worked out.

  • I wouldn't have that if I would have gotten married in my 20s.

  • And you stayed very active in the Church.

  • I did.

  • And your testimony remained firm, it sounds like,

  • through all of this time.

  • My testimony did.

  • That testimony of the Atonement is

  • what I have grown into and learned

  • to appreciate so much, what the Atonement can do.

  • And I think it was when I was called to be the stake Relief

  • Society president in a family stake,

  • that I remember our stake president calling me.

  • And I looked at him and I said, "There

  • are a thousand women in this stake who are more qualified.

  • I'm not married.

  • I don't have children."

  • My idea of a home-cooked meal was shredded wheat

  • with a SlimFast poured over it because I couldn't keep milk

  • fresh in my fridge long enough.

  • But it was right.

  • The timing was right.

  • And it was the experience that made me realize,

  • "It's time to move on."

  • So you getting this major calling,

  • which would be daunting for anyone,

  • I think--is that finally when you were able to forgive

  • yourself?

  • I think so.

  • I think it was, "If the Lord trusts me with this,

  • I need to trust myself that it's time to move forward."

  • And through this whole time--I mean,

  • through years and years--were you open?

  • Were you dating?

  • Were you doing all of those things?

  • Oh, yes.

  • And blind dates, I had some amazing blind dates.

  • But I think anyone who dates for a long period of time

  • can say, "Oh, dating was not the greatest experience for me."

  • I struggled with dating.

  • In my profession, I work with doctors,

  • and I am confident with that.

  • In my Church callings, I was confident.

  • When it came to dating, I was a wreck.

  • My poor sister and my dear friend Jana

  • would hear about how I felt about dating.

  • I was a wreck when it came to dating.

  • "Will he like me?

  • Will I like him?

  • Maybe I like him more than he likes me.

  • Maybe he likes me more than I like him."

  • It was just a challenge for me to date.

  • And so in those times, you said you did

  • have times where you felt maybe a little deserted,

  • your chocolate chip cookie days.

  • Yes.

  • But how did you stay close enough to your Heavenly Father

  • to--and did you think, "He has a plan for me"?

  • I mean, did you--were you always able to keep that thought

  • in your head?

  • That He had a plan for me.

  • But also, "Enjoy the life experiences you're having,

  • all of these experiences"--serving

  • in the callings I had, opportunities at work that I

  • was able to travel and meet wonderful people in my job.

  • My family was such a wonderful support system.

  • And even though 90 percent of my friends were married,

  • they included me in their lives.

  • And I realized I had a full, happy life.

  • Well, it sounds like gratitude was a huge part of your life

  • and what made your happiness.

  • Very much so.

  • I think we could all probably learn from that a little bit.

  • So let's talk about when your fairy tale started to happen.

  • This started on one of those blind dates.

  • It did.

  • OK.

  • It did.

  • A good friend of mine--

  • And you're in your 40s by this point, is that right?

  • Yes.

  • Well, Russ and I met--it was probably--yes,

  • just before I turned 40.

  • A dear friend of mine--and if anybody thinks that

  • their friendships from when they were in junior high cannot have

  • eternal consequences, my dear friend Jana moved

  • into the neighborhood and into our ward in the eighth grade.

  • And we were friends, but as time went on,

  • we became better friends.

  • And she had two beautiful children

  • that I was a big part of their lives.

  • And her husband and my husband, Russ,

  • were serving in a bishopric together.

  • Your soon-to-be husband.

  • Yes--

  • OK.

  • --at the time.

  • And Jana lined us up.

  • And you were still willing--

  • Yes.

  • --to do another blind date, OK.

  • Yes.

  • We were lined up, and we went out twice.

  • Well, Russ is the most wonderful man in the world,

  • but he is very quiet.

  • And after the second date, I told Jana,

  • "He is way too quiet for me."

  • And Russ told me, after the second date,

  • "If you want to go out again, why don't you give me a call?"

  • So maybe he wasn't quite feeling it from you.

  • Oh, OK.

  • [CHUCKLES]

  • The same thing is how it was.

  • Two and a half years went by.

  • Oh, so you did not call.

  • I did not call.

  • It was like, "OK, two dates.

  • I'm done."

  • He told me if I wanted to go out again, "you call me."

  • Jana was so upset with me, it almost ruined our friendship,

  • because she had a greater perspective of the type of man

  • Russ was than I did at the time.

  • And it was shortly after that second date,

  • I was called to be the stake Relief Society president.

  • So you went through a change in your life,

  • in your own personal thinking about yourself.

  • Yes--

  • Yeah.

  • --is what.

  • But when President Smith called me to be the Relief Society

  • president, he said, "Do you have any plans to move out

  • of the stake?"

  • And I somewhat sarcastically said, "Only if some tall, dark,

  • and handsome man comes and sweeps me off my feet."

  • Well, when you're one month before your 40th birthday,

  • you're not thinking that's going to happen.

  • So two and a half years later, I worked with a woman, Beverly,

  • and Jana, both at different times,

  • commented to me that Russ Lund had spoken in church

  • and what a great job he had done.

  • And I let Jana know, "You know what?

  • I feel bad because I did not give him a fair chance."

  • And Jana said, "Well, what are you going to do about it?"

  • And at that point, it was like, "I don't know.

  • What can I do?"

  • So I sent Russ an email and just told him that I felt bad.

  • And in fact, I have a copy of that email,

  • and it just said, "I felt bad that I never called you again.

  • Would you want to go out to dinner?"

  • That was in October.

  • Well, he played it really well.

  • He tells me, "Usually, any time would be fine.

  • But I have vacations planned."

  • So that was the first part of October.

  • It wasn't until the first week of November--he kept me waiting

  • an entire month--that we went out.

  • And from then on, we went out the first time in November.

  • We were engaged in January, and we were married

  • in the Manti Temple in April.

  • Wow, what a great story.

  • It was wonderful.

  • So now, knowing all of that, can you look back and think,

  • "This was how it was supposed to be"?

  • Or do you think these were your choices,

  • and so that postponed you finding this fairy tale?

  • What is your perspective now on your life?

  • I think the Lord took my hand and walked me

  • through this experience.

  • And I have thought before, "What would

  • my children have looked like?

  • What is that experience like of carrying a baby

  • and having a child?"

  • But I can't even go there, Amy, because I think, "What would I

  • have given up?"

  • Look at what I have.

  • Russ came as a package deal with three beautiful children.

  • And now we have a daughter-in-law

  • and a son-in-law and six beautiful grandchildren and one

  • on the way.

  • I cannot imagine my life without them.

  • So if I tried to think back, "What if?"

  • I can't go there, because that would mean I

  • wouldn't have what I have now.

  • And what I have now is priceless to me.

  • I think there are a lot of people

  • who are waiting for something in their life to happen.

  • It could be marriage.

  • It could be children.

  • It could be a job, whatever.

  • And it's tough.

  • You are the perfect example of how we should be.

  • But can you help those of us who may not be there yet?

  • But how do we trust in the Lord's timing like you have?

  • That's a good question.

  • I think you have to look at it as that our Heavenly

  • Father knows us.

  • And looking back now, 55 years, how many times in my life

  • that I believe the Lord knew better than I did.

  • And I think if we can have an eternal perspective,

  • not just this limited--what I'm going through today,

  • what I'm going through this week or this year--but we have that

  • eternal perspective like my mom had when they started talking

  • about families being together forever.

  • What we're going through now is a small part

  • of what Heavenly Father has in store for each one of us.

  • And we can all make our happily ever after.

  • Maybe it's going to be with a husband and children.

  • Maybe--in my mom's case, she has still made her happily ever

  • after for the last 47 years.

  • She never lost perspective of that eternal plan.

  • But three months after my dad died,

  • she went back to school to get her master's.

  • And when my youngest sister started school,

  • she started teaching again.

  • She was a wonderful teacher.

  • And we even thought, "Wow, when she retires,

  • what is she going to do?"

  • She spoils her grandchildren and her great-grandchildren.

  • That's her life, is her family.

  • And I just think that happiness is a choice.

  • Whatever circumstances we may be in,

  • we have the ability to choose to be happy.

  • And finally, can you just talk a little bit about how important

  • putting the Atonement to work in your life

  • and having that personal relationship with the Savior

  • comes into play as we trust in our Heavenly Father?

  • The Atonement--Heavenly Father knows us.

  • He loves us.

  • But we have to believe.

  • We can't just say, "Oh, yes, the Atonement

  • is for everyone else."

  • We have to believe, "He did this for me,"

  • that what He went through was for every one of us.

  • And if we are willing to do that,

  • we can know that our life may take a detour.

  • As we have our GPS going, recalculate--there are times we

  • have to recalculate.

  • And we cannot undo the past, but we can make the future better

  • and put that Atonement into play and realize He wants the best

  • for us.

  • He's not there to punish us, but choices have consequences.

  • And if we put the Atonement in our lives,

  • we can have our happily ever after.

  • For my 50th birthday, the greatest gift

  • Russ gave me was a picture I didn't even know

  • had been taken.

  • We were down at the Salt Lake Temple at a wedding.

  • It was a rainy day.

  • He's holding an umbrella.

  • I'm holding his arm, and we are walking.

  • And he gave that framed picture to me on my 50th birthday.

  • And to me, it shows the two of us

  • can get through anything together.

  • The storms of life, whatever is put before us,

  • we can get through together.

  • And I think it's having the Lord on our side

  • and knowing we will one day return to Him.

  • My mom is 81, and today would have

  • been my dad's 82nd birthday.

  • It's not going to be that many years

  • before there is going to be an amazing reunion in heaven.

  • And I hope it's a lot of years.

  • I am certainly not ready to let my mom go.

  • But what an amazing reunion there's going to be.

  • And he's going to wrap his arms around her

  • and tell her what an amazing job she did.

  • She's my hero.

  • I am so blessed to have the life I have.

  • Trusting in the Lord's timing isn't easy.

  • It can challenge the faith of anyone.

  • But in Lisa's life, her trust allowed her

  • to grow and be strengthened.

  • That's not always the course we would choose.

  • But as the Lord fully knows, it's

  • the course that brings the greatest satisfaction

  • and that molds us into the person He knows we can be

  • and ultimately want to be.

  • I'm Amy Iverson.

  • Thanks for joining us.

  • Join us next time for Gospel Solutions for Families.

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